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#1
Oct 18, 2008, 11:38 PM
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is lacking assertiveness a self esteem issue?
__________________
당신의 사랑은 법률을 위반하고 있었다, 그러나 나는 증인을 필요로 했다 <3 |
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#2
Oct 18, 2008, 11:42 PM
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I don't know for sure, but in my opinion,
a lack of assertiveness can be linked to low self-esteem, yes. I know in my case I lack assertiveness because I don't feel like I deserve to be heard. I feel like my feelings/opinions shouldn't' count, so I don't express them. Does that make sense? |
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#3
Oct 19, 2008, 12:18 PM
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I would say yes. Passivity shows disrespect for yourself and allows others to run over you for the sake of avoiding conflicts. Aggression also stems from lack of self-esteem, as when people disrespect and run over other people, they are trying to force their way, probably because they don't believe they can get their needs met any other way.
Assertiveness is based on believing that what you feel, think, and need has merit enough to be presented clearly and directly, and enough self-esteem to consider what others need/think/feel also and work out a solution that works best for both of you.
__________________
“We should always pray for help, but we should always listen for inspiration and impression to proceed in ways different from those we may have thought of.” – John H. Groberg 
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#4
Oct 19, 2008, 06:27 PM
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I don't have an answer, but can share my personal experience (s).
When it comes to my kids, I am VERY assertive, but not aggressive. When it comes to my husbands health and getting things done, I am VERY assertive, but not aggresive. When it comes to me, I'm a wimp!!!  Dee |
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#5
Oct 20, 2008, 01:17 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#6
Oct 20, 2008, 01:19 PM
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Hi Sarah, I had to work on both. I never thought that they were the same area. I put assertiveness with personal boundaries and that they are different from self esteem. I think that we don't have personal boundaries because we simply were just not taught. Maybe this is just me though?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#7
Oct 20, 2008, 02:31 PM
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Quote:
Hi sarah.. An issue,,,yes,,,but more of a result of a process. We offer little protection to things we have little value for... I have asked folks to create a small list, in decending order, of what you value most in your life. When I read the list I first scan it to see the word "me"... I don't see it often enough..  We are incredible miracles,,each of us,,,well deserving of our own protection.. IMHO. Lenny
__________________
I have only one conclusion,,and that is things change too quickly for me to draw them.... Sobriety date...Halloween 1989. I was plucked from hell...and treat this gift as if it is the only one... |
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#8
Oct 21, 2008, 09:17 AM
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I read this ((sarah)))
then read Lennys post....thought about a list I would make ...I have to say "me" would prolly be at the end of the list. I can show assertiveness to protect my Kids. Things I really stand up for in life. Things I believe in... I have always been able to jump into action when needed for others..my parents, sister, kids, issues in the community... But for what ever reason,.......I put me at the end... is it low self esteem? I am not sure....I think that was not alot of help... Muffy |
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#9
Oct 21, 2008, 09:39 AM
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Quote:
This sense understands the concept of community and oneness. It accepts our position as a vital aspect of the total community but neither takes our appetites as singular nor our wants as suppressive. By the sound of many of your words as you type here Muffy,,,much of your Joy comes from helping others. Your "self" is composed of this giving. It is somthing to aspire to... Lenny
__________________
I have only one conclusion,,and that is things change too quickly for me to draw them.... Sobriety date...Halloween 1989. I was plucked from hell...and treat this gift as if it is the only one... |
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#10
Oct 21, 2008, 10:06 AM
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[quote=Lenny;847660]There is an enlightened purpose driven life too with an aspect that gives and takes little...called selflessness...
This sense understands the concept of community and oneness. It accepts our position as a vital aspect of the total community but neither takes our appetites as singular nor our wants as suppressive. By the sound of many of your words as you type here Muffy,,,much of your Joy comes from helping others. Your "self" is composed of this giving. It is somthing to aspire to... ((Lenny)))) Thank you....that is where my joy comes from... ((ty)) awwww I never want anyone to suffer... Thank you Lenny muffy |
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#11
Oct 21, 2008, 02:35 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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