Some CBT for you

Know what works for me? I just say "********!" to myself. Gives that STOP button quite a hit! LOL

bumpity-bump

You know everything septembermorn. :3 *hug*

"Perhaps our mistakes should best be considered as learning opportunities. Instead of calling yourself or somebody else names, think of what you can draw from the experience and plan how you will deal with a similar situation next time."

CBT is so helpful to me, over the years, the more I use it the more it works for me. This quote expresses something especially important to me. When I remember to, I think of myself as a scientist, learning about myself and the world, mistakes and challenges are all part of the grand experiment. Information to consider as I redesign whatever I'm doing and thinking.

Instead of getting stuck and beating myself up, I can say......."Oh, that doesn't work. Let's see, this part worked, would work better if I tweaked it this way maybe, but the rest did not. Cool, I'm learning from this, I have new information."

I imagine myself as a scientist of sorts, or maybe a journalist, who can have a compassionate and stable view of whatever is going on.

I am human and I don't gotta be perfect. (Big lesson for me to finally learn.) I get to be fully human. I get to enjoy the process, mistakes and set backs and all. It's information, food for thought, grist for the mill, and all part of my life learning process.

This is my favorite part:

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
......."Oh, that doesn't work. Let's see, this part worked, would work better if I tweaked it this way maybe, but the rest did not. Cool, I'm learning from this, I have new information."

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Yes, and there is a 10th one also:

Disqualifying the Positive.

You reject positive experiences by insisting they "don't count" for some reason or another. In this way you maintain a negative belief that is contradicted by your everyday experiences. For instance, you don't believe a compliment because you think it is said just to be nice. You discount what positive someone says because you "know" they really don't know all the "facts." You think they have "ulterior" motives. That something might be true for others, but not you.

You must have been reading old posts, eh?

How would you counter that kind of thinking?

september-

Can I ask the name of the Burns book youre referring to. Is it a lay manual for self-help or a clinical text? CBT is very relevent part of therapy for dissociative dis. as there are varios developmental stages at which we have been derailed and can respond to such training. Children think in concrete terms so this is usefull for the adult survivor. Also dis. often have parts stashed away for reawakening -that exist in a sort of autistic shell and must be reached in this way.
I am using a new exersise now that was given me by T (who is quite talented at uses any and all therapy techniques as appropriate to whatever part is present)
I am finding 2 things to be gratefull for each day. I am keeping the list in a microsoft word file and go there fisrt before coming here to reread and add to the list. The T quite correctly pointed out that we can be unaware of being happy sometimes just like being unaware of being angry or hurt or triggered. I found this is true because i can be miserable scared and in shock but still singing along with a music cd in the car. So part of me was happy for the music and I put my attention there to be conscious of how much I really love music. I breifly followed the happy thread in my mind and had a respit. That music was the first gratitude on my list. The second one on that day was the fact that the earth maintains its gravity. Im actually HAPPY for that. When i go to that file b4 anything else on the computer I pay attention to something good and what we might read here can be less triggering. Does anyone else do this kind of exersize?
Sometimes- dont forget my question about that book ok?

Kathy, I didn't get it from a book. I got a very condensed pamphlet when I was in the psych ward almost three years ago. I took the Nine Thinking Mistakes from it, is all. Maybe if you do a search on the NTM, it will yield the name of the book? I hope so. Good luck!

The Ten Forms of Twisted Thinking
From "The Feeling Good Handbook" by David D. Burns, M.D.
© 1989 by David D. Burns, M.D.

Ten Forms of Twisted Thinking

Thanks so much for getting back to me here

Kathy

Thanks, SeptemberMorn, this is very interesting. I copied and pasted it into MS Word so I can look at it more later. Now the question is, what do you do if you recognize some of these patterns in yourself?!?!?

Wow-
gratitute?
Thats so not even interesting-
whered you come up with that idea?
Wow thanks for sharing

THE very first step is to RECOGNIZE that you are doing these things! When you make a statement and you can stop yourself and think about it ... and place it into one of those categories THEN you are on the road to countering the incorrect statement, not "just" for the other but for yourself!

TRY and accept the compliment, septembermorn, as plain and simply A COMPLIMENT. Don't ascribe any level of meaning, not any degree of sincerity, no reasoning: so and so said such and such about/to me! (meaning something positive.) THEN when you can accept that basic, TRY and then add, and that is a good thing, or, that makes me feel better (even though you might not FEEL too much.) Or even, how sweet/nice/good of so and so for saying such a nice thing!

If nothing else, it removes the negativity we tell ourselves automatically when we hear a compliment. Hey, it's THEIR compliment, leave it alone- don't adjust it - and take it!

I'm NOT a pro on this yet... but I am in the thick of CBT!

Debi, (I spelled your name right that time! ) There are examples in some of the "mistakes." Just like in the first one where it says "Boy, I really blew this trip!" No, you didn't! You bought everything else you went after. You only forgot ONE thing. That's not blowing the entire grocery shopping trip. See what I mean? You can counter nearly every negative thing you think to yourself or about yourself. If you need help with clarification, give me a thought or two that you have and I'll help you counter it with something positive, ok?

Sky is right on with what she has posted. Read carefully what she writes... most of the time. LOL I'm kidding!! Just pulling Sky's chain. LOL

bump. This needs to stay. imo

Sept actually what the original post was is the basis for all mental health... and healing... just many modalities refuse to state it so blatently! Nor do the others insist you work on these issues!

I agree with you. Asked John for some stickies but he hasn't answered me. The answer is probably "no." So... I just keep bumping them up.

Thanks for doing it for me. You're welcome to do it anytime.