problem with a friend

i was molested when i was elementary. i am a post-graduate now. i had the tendency of sexualizing any friendship. i'm afraid that i just did. because a friend was distancing herself from me. and i am avoiding her too. i just had held her hand... there was nothing intimate. but i worry that she was disturbed by what i did. sometimes she'd talk about a classmate and i bet she was referring to me. i am paranoid with her. am i an abuser already?

don't jump to any conlusuions, you may have just overreacted to her response, but if you think she is disstancing herself from you than depending how close you are to her, talk to her about it. Tell her it wasn't what she thought it was. You said it wasn't intimate Maybe she is just the type of person who getts freaked out easily. Don't let this bring you down.

Holding a friend's hand doesn't make you an abuser. It might be awkward and she might not know what to think about it though. If she wants to talk about it maybe you could explain the reasons to her why you held her hand. If she's comfortable enough to talk it out it will probably not be a big deal, but if she is freaking out about it I don't know if there is anything to do. Not knowing what the contest was, I don't know enough about what happened, but if someone who I was friends with just held my hand out of the blue (other than a child) I would probably feel uncomfortable about it, but I don't tend to be very comfortable with physical contact. Still, I would be able to get over it if an explanation was offered that made sense to me. (such as they were momenterily confused? I don't know.) And the context might make it more understandable.

<font color=green>Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that, you, too, can become great. -Mark Twain</font color=green>

we've only known for just a month when i held her hand. i don't know if she was shocked or something by what i did. 3 months had already passed... and i'm still wondering whatever she might think of me. if i would explain to her, i might turn out to be senseless. i don't even know the rationality behind what i did. but one thing's for sure i do have special feelings for her. and i would never want to tell her. it would be great mess!

krazee, i think that you are perhaps making more out of this than what is there because of your past. There is nothing wrong with physical contact between friends. A hug, holding hands are all signs of caring and affection that are not considered to be offensive or abnormal.

yeah... i had been avoiding physical contact even with friends. i would either dislike it and get scared.or love the whole thing and get scared. nothing could make me feel safer. i know it's all that i needed. but it frightens me.