moving away from abuser

Typo · Feb 19, 2010, 09:40 AM

(((((((((((((Kiyacat))))))))))))))

Feb 19, 2010, 10:50 AM

Keep working it Kiya. Have to challenge that frog.

Sannah · Feb 19, 2010, 11:41 AM

Kiya, I'm so sorry that you are struggling. You will make it through this. It is so jarring to move. You will adjust........

FooZe · Feb 20, 2010, 01:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kiya

My cat seems to be adjusting better than I am... Now he is running through the place, jumping into windows and boxes, tunnling through the closet.... he used to sleep all day in his basket or lie on his back at our feet.

Why am I taking longer to adjust? ... i don't understand all these changes.

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Old joke:

Guy goes into a diner, orders breakfast: warm orange juice, cold fried eggs, burnt toast and muddy coffee, "And serve it in a cracked cup so it drips down my chin."

"Anything else?" the waitperson asks.

"Yeah, sit down and nag me. I'm homesick."
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You may have gotten used to bracing yourself against whatever your mother might do next. Now that that source of stress isn't there any more, you don't quite know what to do with yourself.

Also, dealing with your mother, bad as it seems to have been for you, might have kept you distracted from other issues in your life that you now have room to address but that you're not entirely looking forward to.

It all sounds like progress to me, Kiya, only you're not quite sure how you like it.

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(Psssst! Hey, cat! Remind your boss that she's OK.)
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jahrderglad · Feb 20, 2010, 06:39 PM

I'm in a similar situation. I moved out two and a half years ago, and while my experience hasn't been terrible, I've been living paycheque to paycheque and in a pretty crappy apartment. What gets to me most is the lack of parents. I just miss having them, even if they were bad. But as much as I miss "home," and as much as my resolve wavers and I think "maybe home wasn't so bad," if I keep reminding myself that I'll be better off in the long run, that the more time I'm out of that situation the better I'll get...it seems a bit easier. It may suck now, but it WILL get better. YOU will get better. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk about it. Either way, I wish you the best of luck with everything. It's not easy, but if you're strong enough to leave, you'll be strong enough to get through this, too.

Kiya · Feb 21, 2010, 03:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jahrderglad

if I keep reminding myself that I'll be better off in the long run, that the more time I'm out of that situation the better I'll get...it seems a bit easier. It may suck now, but it WILL get better. YOU will get better. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk about it. Either way, I wish you the best of luck with everything. It's not easy, but if you're strong enough to leave, you'll be strong enough to get through this, too.

Thanks so much - yes i do have to keep those reminders going. My t from 4 years ago came by today bringing me a lovely couch (not a T couch lol), a small table, an end table, a corner-fitting open shelves, and gifts from friends including chocolate. =) I am feeling well cared for at the moment - and oddly also very dissociated allllllll day after that. She is returning tomorrow with a set of drawers.

Tonight as I sat on this couch and had dinner at the table, I had the strangest thought - Oh, this is my house... this is where I'm living....! Things haven't been real all day. I think i was thinking about "home" and how it "isn't" anymore. I still have some things there, and mom still wants me there ALL the time (smothering), but i guess it hit me tonight that this is where i live now. Yup, it's State housing and it sucks and there's some bugs and the ppl are crazy (aren't we all), AND... it's mine. I own my life now... guess it is good to wake up and realize that.