It didnt happen

if something nearly happened to you when you were a teen but it didnt. is that the same as it did happened. if someone was demanding and yelling that you do it now. and you were upset and saying no but only because you could see the police car out the window and knew they were coming in. otherwise you never would have said no and it would have been different. and the person was not only yelling demands at you but also saying things about what happened to you before. they knew about things and never did anything to stop it and was now saying them to you as if because of what you did before you should do this now. and it was just too much hereing they knew and making these demands and expecting you to do it and thinking it was really going to happen. the police were taking too long. would it be nothing cause in reality nothing actually happened.

Not having the details makes it a little confusing but from what you have described this incident sounds like it was very distressing for you and this counts. Emotional distress is just as bad as something actually physically happening. Something to talk to T about?

Sannah, you are right. it is confusing. just re-read it today. its one of those memories that just come to me every once in a while and it came yesterday. and was just writing as remembering.

this person should have been protecting me and teaching me about the good in life but instead allowed someone to do wrong things to me when i was little for years (even in their presence sometimes) and then wanted it too. it was a betrayal. just hard to understand why. so this day was a build up of previous things that all seem to come to a head. a kind of emotional explosion that never made it out of my head. the police came. i never told anything, again. and so it has sat in my head with all the other stuff. leaking out every so often.

sorry for putting it up here. i need to learn not to post this kind of stuff.

yeah, i will tell t in time. right now i just sent t a long email the other day about the school kids. told alot. have to deal with that first. i now realize there are alot of things i will eventually have to tell t about.

Yes, it will leak out, and no, you do not need to be sorry for posting it here. That's what the place is for, for you to tell your story.

suzzie,

The leaking out is good, instead of all at once, it would be too much that way.

Hunny

Suzzie-
An act doesn't need to be completed for it to be traumatic and wrong. That is why in the legal nomenclature there is Attempted _______. You are not at fault! It does not matter that you did not tell the police. It was still wrong. The number of things reported to the police is only a small fraction of the attacks that actually happen. Reporting it or not reporting it does not change what happened. You deserved to be protected.

You do not need to apologize for posting!

There is nothing wrong with what you have posted. And now with more info these incidents sound very important. I'm glad that eventually you will share them with T.

thanks everyone, im glad the post was ok.