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  #1  
Old Dec 08, 2005, 05:38 PM
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mrb020377 mrb020377 is offline
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Member Since: May 2005
Posts: 2,252
if I could go back 19 years (today) and know then what I know now I would go back and teach him not to mess with me!!!!!!! I would teach him that a 9 year chould not perform oral sex on a 31 year old man!!! She should not know what that is... She should not know!!!! She shouldnt spend the whole day throwing up, being sick from what he made her do!!!!!!!

I can't go back. The one thing that I can do, is not let him have control over me anymore.... He had control then... he had control over me until thi year... I have finally realized he can't control me anymore... I control myself... I have to fight it hard... but i can do it....

I hate him!!!! I hate that man....
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  #2  
Old Dec 08, 2005, 09:12 PM
SleepsWithButterFlies SleepsWithButterFlies is offline
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You are right kids should not know that stuff I am so sorry but glad you have taken control

hugs
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  #3  
Old Dec 08, 2005, 09:55 PM
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SeptemberMorn SeptemberMorn is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2003
Location: CA
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What a blessed day it will be when you no longer have ANY feelings for him. Hate uses up a whole lot of energy, Sweety.

It's a long road, but I have faith in you that you will get to the point of being indifferent to him.
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  #4  
Old Dec 08, 2005, 11:16 PM
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i understand your hate. i actually wish i could get there.. I have no feelings at all. I've never been mad. Its not healthy.. I think you should allow yourself to move through this stage. Feeling anger is appropriate. That was a horrible thing. We should feel angry when any child is hurt. I do agree..that one day.. hopefully the anger with hate... will change to just anger that abuse. But for now.. I understand..and almsot wish i had some of your anger
  #5  
Old Dec 08, 2005, 11:28 PM
hillbunnyb hillbunnyb is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2005
Location: CA
Posts: 1,392
Oh dear one, I'm so sorry you have these memories to deal with. I'm glad you come here for support. Take care.
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  #6  
Old Dec 09, 2005, 12:28 AM
Lexicon78 Lexicon78 is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2004
Location: Pennsylvania
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I'm so sorry you had to go through that terrible experience. I know because I've been there. No child should be introduced to that crap at that age.

YOU are in control and you have the power to take control of things now. You didn't have the power back then, but you do now. I know that you have the strength to move on and become a much better person than he could ever be!

Hang in there...we are all here for you.
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"When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it." -Bernard Bailey
  #7  
Old Dec 09, 2005, 12:36 AM
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bipolar_bear bipolar_bear is offline
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Member Since: Aug 2005
Posts: 8,106
I am so sorry you went through that especially at such a young age. No one should have to go through that especially an innocent child. I am glad you are starting to deal with it. I am glad you are starting to take control of your life. Take care
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