Get it out of my head pleaaaaase- very very triggering do not read if easily tri

You said that you thought I was attractive and would love to take me on a date. Why was I so damb gullible. I should have known something was up since no other guy at school ever said anything to me and I was a geek. I was so tired of being alone. I should have stayed alone. When I left work with you and you kissed me , I told you I have never been on a date and felt afraid. Why did I not lisen to my own brain when you kissed me anyhow against my wishes. I took you to meet my parents and you acted like a perf3ect gentlemen. Why did my parents trust you. Why did they let me go off with you at the camp ground I was only 16. We walked through the woods to go back to the car. I should have known something was up. Why not follow the well lit and traveled path.

Before I new what hit me you tackled me to the ground. Your hand tightly over my mouth. I could not scream, I could not breath. Why. I feel the pine neetles sticking into my back. The sharp rocks cutting into my flesh. You tear my pants off. You know you want this tell me you like it tell me you love it. IYou want it hard don't you NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO I don't want this at all. I cry and you hit me on the face. This is not love this is not happening You push yourself hard into me I scream in pain.

I then somehow by gods grace leave my body I remember the stars that night I was floating away in the stars I was searching for death to take me away. I only remember the smell of your disgusting deoderant

I awke later half naked and bleeding in places you should not be bleeding. I know my parents will hate me . I must never never tell. I go home and wash and wash and wash and wash five hours later sitting in the freezing ice cold shower I make it to my room and collapse.

You have the nerve of showing up the next day at my house asking my parents to see me. I refuse to go away. My parents say I am rude. Years later when they learn what you did they understand my behavior that day.

I wish I would have told some one anyone. Maybe I would not be a mental case if I had.

(((((((((TWIRLS)))))))

Sendong soft, gentle hugs if that's ok.....Iam so sorry this happened to you sweetheart. You are ver brave to have posted this, I hope you at least feel some relief from doing it, my heart goes out to you, I hear you, the pain, the sorrow, pm me if you need to talk.

Love you sweetie, Jin xxxxx

i'm so sorry for what happened to you, words of comfort often don't make the slightest difference, i hope these do. take care

((((jinnyann, jefftele))))

I have never told anyone the details of what happened. Not once and this was almost ten years ago. thank you for the support. My mom knows that I was attacked but does not no any details. No one does. It definatly feels better getting it out in the open.

twirls, I'm so sorry.

Sharing that was so incredibly brave.

Be safe.

Cyran0

*Gentle Hugs* and understanding to you twirls.

You have taken a huge step in working through this most difficult process by telling some details here. You are very brave to have been able to do that. I'm proud of you for finding the courage to write about it.

I have been in your shoes before. I know how hard it is to reconcile all the emotions, the pain, the anger, the fear.

But I also know that healing is possible. I have been able to heal from my experience. And I can tell you that when you have made those steps, faced all the pain and everything that goes with it, you can then put it where it belongs and move on with your life in a positive and uplifting light.

I'm sending you strength and understanding....keeping you in my prayers for your continued work through this process. You are worth all the effort in the world twirls. Be well dear one!


sabby

((((twirls))))

I send you gentle hugs and love to you. You have been very brave. Thank you for sharing your story with us. Know you are not alone and that we are here to support you and walk with you through this.

I too have been where you have been and my heart goes out to you. I feel your pain and hurt. But I also feel your strength, and it is in that strength that we find a way to grow and take steps forward--whether baby steps or minute by minute.

Just know it was not your fault and you are worth healing. Keep reaching out and posting. We are here to listen and care. Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. And know that I care.

cami