Where to start

Your dad gets drunk because he's an alcoholic, not because of you.
Your brother may have internal injuries. If so, he needs immediate medical attention.

Are you and your brother the only ones at home this weekend with your dad? This would be a very dangerous scenario, especially if he's drinking. What did RAINN tell you? Would you be comfortable calling them again?

well we only chatted i wouldnt want to call them i cant talk about those things in real life no way
my brother is feeling a bit better today thankfully i hope he can go to school i dont want him to be alone tomorrow
i dont know if i will be able to find the courage to talk about it tomorrow i think courage ran away and hid reall good :/

You can make a stand to protect your twin. It may be the hardest think you ever do. But you can do it.

I don't know how old you are, but you do have some options here regardless of your age.

It's important to realize that there are support systems outside of your immediate family that may be of significant help to you, your siblings, your mother AND your father (not that you are responsible for him in any way).

You have the power to move things for the family in a very very positive direction, BUT it is YOUR choice.

These things are never, ever as simple as - well just tell someone. There are implications that you carry (whether you want to or not) with you through the decision making process. It's very easy for us to say that the health of the family should not rest on your shoulders, because it's true. What's also true is that you may feel that way.

I completely understand that.

I think you are wise to collect more information, and talk to someone who is thoughtful, deliberate and wise. The nurse sounds like a great place to start.

This is your life, and without a doubt you deserve to be free from this abuse, but on your terms and when you are ready.

It's okay. There will be help when you reach for it. You are not trapped.

im 14
i came here because im worried for my brother not so much for myself
and if i die then my father might do the same things to my brother or my sister instead of just to me
because i have cancer and ive had cancer before too so idk i try not to think to much about it but you never know if it will take u
I already lost a few good friends from the hospital to it
Right now im feeling sick though and sore too so when i go to the hospital tomorrow if i dont feel much better soon i wont get to go home for atleast a few nights anyway but then my brother is alone there
well not really but i cant protect him... welll ive been doing a bad job at it so far :/
But i cant always stop him sometimes he's to mad and then he will just hit me too instead of leave my brother alone and do whatever he wants to me
:/ sorry im rambling ill stop

When you are at the hospital it would be a good time to tell someone that you trust there about what is going on at home.

RubenRawr, when your dad is drunk & angry & you're in the hospital for a few days, what do you think your dad does? Do you think he just patiently waits for you to come back, so he can abuse you? Or do you think he abuses your brother or sister?

Be honest. You may be his favorite target, and your siblings may not be telling you what he does. Your dad has you all afraid of the truth, & that's what he counts on. Sannah is right, this trip to hospital is your chance to talk with your nurse friend & save your family.

You were worried your twin might have been hurt after the belt beating the other day. How much more can he take? How much more are you willing to risk?

Roadrunner

I told the nurse about the physical abuse... She was really nice about it
I couldnt say the other stuff about my dad i just kinda blurted out the words and broke down, pretty much
From then on things went really fast cause she said she would have to tell some people. Bunch of questions, police, someone from childcare etcetc
Thankfully the nurse kicked them out of the room after a while but she said they'll have to come back another time for more questions though
Everyone cried today, my brothers my sister my mom me
My mom is sleeping at my grandmoms house with my brothers and sister till some things get sorted out and when I go home from the hospitall ill get to go there too. I'm still nervous about all of this, i don't know what's going to happen now. :s
And it suddenly feels very lonely to be here alone in the hospital I wish i could sneak into my brothers room and sleep there tonight.

I bet you do feel lonely there at the hospital, but you know for the first time that your family is safe.

What you have found the strength to do is amazing, Ruben Rawr. I am so proud to know--even "virtually"--a young man as brave as you. Telling the nurse had to be terrifying. I'm surprised you even remember it. You are very mature for your age, but then you have been thru so much.

I am so glad she stood by you & didn't let them overwhelm you. It would be a good idea to ask her to continue to support you, as the process goes on.

We'll all keep you close in our thoughts. If having our prayers will help, you'll have some of those too.

Take good care of you, you special guy.

Roadrunner

Good job, RubenRawr!

You did the right thing RubenRawr, you did the right thing for your whole family, you really did. Please take care of you now, make sure the nurse watches over you, tell her that you need her help and thank her for being there for you.

You did nothing wrong, your father is an abusive person, he may even have abused your mother too. You truely did the right thing, I am so happy that you took the right steps I know it took a lot of courage. Your brother will be safe now, and more importantly he will know that telling is the right thing to do, otherwise if you didn't tell he would suffer more later in life, YOU REALLY DID THE RIGHT THING, HONESTLY.

Open Eyes

You did it! I am so proud of you. Please continue to keep us posted on how you are doing? For things to work out properly you are going to have to tell them everything okay. They really need to know the full extent of what has been going on.

i cant do that just saying this has hurt everyone a lot already
and just these questions from 101 people it makes my head want to explode
thats how it feels. and the nightmares and sometimes i suddenly see something happening again as if its happening right then but its more of like a memory
but it feels real when i see it. thankfully my brother was ok they checked him out to be sure. and he isnt mad but he's scared like me though he tries to pretend he's ok
just so much questions and my head is already full no more room for anything more
Im just not feeling very great and aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh

((((((RubenRawr))))))

They ask questions to make sure your being truthful and they also want to find out how they can help you best. I can imagine it is a lot of questions. Did they offer a psychologist to help you with this? Be truthful, this is very hard and that you need to have help with a therapist to help you deal with talking about all this.

Ruben, I know this is hard and you are being very brave. But what you endured was wrong Ruben and because your only 14 your identity will be kept secret and this will be handled very privately. I know your brother is scared, but you are really protecting him and that is being a good brother. It is very hard, people are often afraid to reveal the truth, in the beginning is is scary, but the truth sets us all free.

In forums of abuse there are many others that have experienced abuse and never told. They are very confused and feel guilty because they never told. And often because they never told they become victims again because they didn't learn how to protect themselves. You are learning how to protect yourself. I am telling you, what your father did was wrong, very wrong. You and your brother deserve to be safe, feel safe and so do many other children and the only way that happens is to tell the truth and put an end to abuse. Your doing the right thing, parents should never treat their children this way, and that is why there are now laws. And there are laws now because of those that suffered before you, and because of the very few that were brave and spoke up to stop the abuse.

I am giving you big hugs and we are all giving you hugs Ruben we all know how difficult it is, and we all know the right thing to do is be brave and stop the abuse by speaking up.

ReubenRawr, I am going to be saying lots of prayers for you, we are here for you.

Open Eyes

Ruben, I'm so sorry that this is so hard. You never deserved any of this! If they find that the physical abuse isn't too bad they might reunite you all and it could get worse???? If they know about the sexual abuse they will understand the full extent of all of the abuse.

What is hurting everyone is what your dad did - not that you are telling.

it doesnt feel like the right thing or anything it just makes me feel worse

Hello Ruben, really sorry you are feeling down & confused.
Just remember everything we've told you. None of this is your fault.

The people at the hosp also need to know about the other abuse, for the safety of your twin. Your father is to blame for this.

Just know we all care very much about you & your family's best interest!!!

Are you feeling worse, Ruben, because you're worried about your dad? Or is it something else? If you're in hospital now do you have someone you can talk with? A counselor, or your nurse friend maybe.

What has your family said about this?

All of us here do appreciate what a very difficult and scary thing you have done. I'm worried that you don't have people with you now supporting you and letting you know that you made the right choice for everyone. I hope that your mother has been helpful to you now.

If you want to talk to any of us about what you're thinking or wondering about, you can do that here. Or you can PM me and probably the other people who write to you here feel the same.

We care about you so much & will be here for you as much as we can be.

Roadrunner

they saw the bruises on me and my brother and they all confirmed my story and added bits and pieces of their own except for my brother who refused to talk about it..
Shouldnt that be enough to keep him away? Besides my mom said she is gonna take a divorce and do everything she can to keep him away from us.
I feel bad for making her feel sad though

Do you know what she feels sad about?

about what he did
that she didnt notice till we told her
i think

Well give her a big hug & thank her for raising you to be strong and to know what is right. Would that help?

Ruben Rawr- I can't say much more than the others already did... your story has brought tears to my eyes-- it really has, tears of sadness, and tears of how brave you are.

Do you realize that you are so brave to come forth and tell someone while the abuse was going on to stop it! You are very strong to do so, you are so brave.
I wish I would had been that brave as a kid to tell someone

I hope you the best, I hope you siblings the best.

This is so sad, no one deserves such things to happen to them... Please know some where you are doing the right thing for YOU, and Your Siblings! I hope you all can ban together and be there for one another.

My heart does go out to you It does- I can't believe such a thing still goes on in this day and age, but it does sadly... there are so many people though out there these days that are willing to help you, to get you better, to make it where you are safe.

Best Wishes

I hope you siblings and you can stick together and give each other strength

yeh we have a counselor kind of person at the hospital who talks to us sometimes but so many questions feels like im talking all the time or sleeping or puking
I dont really feel like talking to him too
Its too overwhelming. i dont want to talk about this stuff no more but i guess thats not possible now that i tol them about it. But i only told them to protect my brother and because im scared about what would happen if i may die, i didnt want my father to start hurting my brother like he did to me too if im not here.
School has been informed too so my mentor came but its to much people all at once. And then they all leave me alone and i dont like that either as if im a little kid who is afraid to sleep with the light on. I hate nights too to many nightmares.

Rueben, it is hard to tell at first and there is some guilty feelings that go with telling and even feeling ill. But that is because you were a victim and you were victimized into being afraid to tell. And be understanding about your brother, he most likely doesnt know what to say, is very confused, but in no way does he dislike you. He didn't go through what you went through, your saving him from that, maybe he wishes inside that he was able to save you, didn't truely realize how you were hurt. And as far as your mom is concerned, she would be much sadder if she found out and you never told. Often mothers do not know because the children do not speak up. A therapist will help her with this, she will learn how strong you really are, and in the end she will learn to appreciate the fact that you did tell. Right now its is just hard to hear the truth, it will calm down as times passes and everyone has time to accept it and learn to overcome it.

If there is too much activity, more than you can handle, make sure you tell your coucelor, because you are trying to heal and you have been ill. You have to say exactly what your sharing here with us so that you get what you need.

When a child tells there is always that part inside them that is finally admitting that their family was disfunctional and they feel ashamed too. But what you did was right and you have to make sure that you don't have guilt about speaking up, you truely did the right thing. If your feeling lonely at night, and having night mares, make sure you tell the nurse, maybe you need medication that can help you with that, and maybe someone needs to be there for you at night if you wake up frightened.

Keep us informed on how your doing, and you can always write your feelings here, its very good to write your feelings out, very good for your psychie and helps to make sure your not holding anything in.

We all know that feeling here, yes it is hard, but we all also know you were so brave and really did the right thing.

Open Eyes