[greenfairy]

i have not been supportive to others here. i have been mired in despair and self-pity. i dont belong here, asking for help when others need it more, seeking advice when i have none to offer. i can not fix myself and coming here can not fix me. i am sorry for my selfishness and for burdening others with my problems. i do not belong here. i dont know where i belong. i started here hoping that i could fix my life and find the support and encouragement of others doing the same. there is nothing to fix. in looking for the a new life i only found more pain, and i realized that for me, life is infinitely safer as it is.
if i am miserable i dont wish to spread that misery. if i am lonely i dont look for others to wallow in that loneliness with me.
i wish you all well and hope only for the best for all of you. and i am most relieved that mystry returned. lyle is a truly wonderful and supportive person and his posts always bring me joy.
peace.

[kimmydawn]

I wish you well, greenfairy. I'm sorry you're in such pain. Life, relationships, etc., are all give and take and not necessarily at the same time. We're here to support you and KNOW that you will do the same when you can, because it's so obvious that you care.

I hope you'll stay and let us support you through this because I know I might need the same from you some day.

KD

[bipolar_bear]

I am so sorry that you have made this decision. Sometimes we are in a position, for a period of time, that we are unable to give support but need to recieve it. That is all right. Luckily with a site this big there are some that ,at any one time, are capable of giving for those that need support. Don't worry that right now you need the support.

It sounds like you would like to change some things in your life, and while I certainly don't know your specifics, but maybe some professional help may let you see the good in your life too. I am sorry that you seem to be so sad at this time. I hope you find the help you need and start the healing process. Good luck and I hope you decide to stay.

[greenfairy]

i dont want to be that person who is always taking and taking and never giving. i dont know what to do with all the pain. i'm scared right now. i need surgery and i dont want to have it. i'm afraid it will change the rest of my life. lately all i want to do is hurt myself and i know its not something we're really supposed to post about and i dont know what to do about it. i feel like i'm losing my mind. i dont have anyone to talk to. the only person i've ever had to talk to doesnt want to listen. i dont want to keep complaining because i know its not changing anything. but i'm afraid all the changes that are waiting for me, scheduled, ready to go, are like death sentences. i'm cutting out little pieces of my life, little pieces of me, and theres nothing there to fill the empty spaces. what if after all of the things i do, no one can love whats left?
thank you kd for letting me know its okay to stay, and i will try to give others the support they need and focus less on myself.

[Rapunzel]

Green, it's ok. You are welcome here, and you are welcome to the support that we can give. If you feel able to offer support, that is fine. My guess is that you will in time, if not now. We have seasons in our lives when our purpose is to give, and seasons that are for allowing others the opportunity to give.

Rap

[kimmydawn]

(((((((((((gf)))))))))))))

you know there are times that all I can do is offer a hug or show relation. relation can be a huge support to those stuggling, and it helps us at the same time.

i'm glad you're here.

kd

[brenlar]

hi my name is brenda and i am brand new here this my first time on line on this site. please don't give up and let it get the best of you it sounds like there are a lot of us out here that want to be here for you and help you get through this. so that you know that i understand i lost my mom at age 10 and then went to live with my dad and stepmom and suffered all three abuses, then i was raped at age 13 and was in a mentaly abusive marriage for 5 years and then a physically abusive on for 3 years. it tooka long time to be able to trust again but i'm glad i did i have been married to a wonderful man for 20 years now and he has been very supportive to me while i am trying to heal hop we can talk soon

[desirae]

What on earth are you talking about......that's what this place is for. I've never seen you be selfish and pitiful. Even if you were, everybody here understands.....everybody has some type of pity, or they wouldn't be here.

Don't be so hard on yourself, you've done absolulty nothing wrong, we want you here.

Look up Green,
Desirae

[brianm101]

i have not been supportive to others here. i have been mired in despair and self-pity. i dont belong here, </font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
asking for help when others need it more, seeking advice when i have none to offer. i can not fix myself and coming here can not fix me. i am sorry for my selfishness and for burdening others with my problems.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Sometimes you need to be selfish and think about your own well being. I am new here but what I have seen is that people here stand together through the good and the bad. Take some time for yourself. I know that it can be hard if you are the type of person that likes helping others(and I think that you are) but it is also healthy to take some for yourself and let others help you.
JMT

[mtd]

You wrote to me on 2/5/06 and you helped me a lot. You affirmed my feelings and kept me from feeling so alone. I would really like you to stay. It's not a burden to me to have you here even if all you are doing is expressing your pain. You are entitled to that and it's no sacrafice to listen to you. You express your inner beauty and your dignity when you grieve over your past. That you have done so here shows your courage, because it takes a couragous person to be that honest with other people about such profound pain. You have inspired me and I hope in time to do the same for you.

Whatever your decision, be well. You'll be in my prayers either way.

mtd

[Rhapsody]

((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ((((((( HUGS )))))))

Please stay if YOU can.... but if you really need to go I will understand.... Just keep in mind that we all take at times and then when we are able we give back to others, but only as we are able, as we can.
A true FRIEND gives with Unconditional LoVe (not expecting any thing in return) and that is what we all have here - for all that need to take when it is needed.

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

[greenfairy]

thank you mtd. and rhapsody and everyone else. lately it feels like dignity is the one thing i dont seem to have, or pride. i've been doing a lot of begging lately, for help, support, understanding. it means a lot to me that none of you have judged me for that. here at home, in my offline life, there is so much judgment and pressure and criticism. i want to be here for all of you as you have been here for me. its been a very tough and lonely time, and knowing that youre willing to listen has helped me get through the day. its the hug, the hand to hold, that i dont have physically, but feel when i step into this place, where everyone cares and shows it. youre all in my prayers as well. . .i pray for all of us to find happiness and healing, and to not give up hope.

[Rhapsody]

Dear GreenFairy,

A person that takes the time to PRAY for me during a difficult time in my life.... is a TRUE FRIEND indeed, one I will NEVER could NEVER turn my back on.

((((((( FRIENDSHIP ))))))) ~ ~ ((((((( MY HAND to HOLD )))))))

LoVe,
Rhapsody -