how I'm feeling

I just need to say I'm feeling very lonely. I still don't want anyone near, and its' very much on purpose that I'm not in a relationship right now, but I do feel lonely. It hurts and I have to be honest about that. While I'm being honest, I'm also jealous of everyone I know who is in a relationship. I'm happy for them, but I'm jealous. It's not right, but it's how I feel. I'm still committed to spending this time alone so I can learn to love myself so my next relationship isn't such a disaster as the last one. But it's been almost 3 years alone and I hope I feel better enough soon to live a more complete life.

Thanks for listening.

((((((( HUGS )))))))

I am praying for you and your next future relationship.... may the years you have spent alone, learning who you are, be blessed from above with the knowledge you are taking with you - from both experience and inner pain.

Matters of the heart can and will work when life is done thru unconditional LOVE (for the female) and unconditional RESPECT (for the male).... for they both spell and mean - - - Being Cherished.

Learn to speak the love language of the different species, that of his and hers.

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

(((((((((mtd)))))))))))

I understand what you mean.

It's very hard when you're not with someone not to be jealous of those that are in a relationship. And a lot of times what looks like a good relationship on the outside really isn't. Like on the outside, my relationship with my boyfriend looks perfect, but really I can't stand the guy and want it over with!

But all in all, I think your feelings are pretty normal...at least they are to me because I go through the same thing.

mtd. . . i dont think you should be hard on yourself about how youre feeling. i think its normal to feel jealousy over the things that others have that we dont, whether by our own choices or by circumstance. and having a relationship does not make a life complete. that would be like saying you need to have children, or a dog, or a house with a white picket fence. some of the happiest people i've met are single and loving it. i think its wonderful that youre learning to love yourself. now i'm jealous. (its one thing i've utterly failed at). anyway, youre lonely, yes, but not alone. you have us. and when the time is right, you'll find the right one.

I too know the loneliness of being alone by choice...it's good you see a future with someone MTD...that says to me that you will one day walk not as a single entity but as a part of a greater design...