[geez]

Sorry if this triggers anyone... Forewarned.....

There is a memory I have and I need/want to sort it out.

WePow posted something about animals and it triggered this memory only I've never really asked questions or explored it.

There was a squirrel running lose in our basement and my dad caught it in a garbage bag. He then brought the bag outside and tied the bag. He then got a golf club and asked my brothers and I to take turns hitting the squirrel in the bag with a golf club. I hit the bag once and walked away as I felt sick to my stomach and horrified for the squirrel ( I was 8, my younger brother was 4 and my older brother was 10). My dad was cheering us on to hit the squirrel. I went in the house.

What is this called? Animal cruelty, child abuse or both????? or just a really bad memory?

[Ardmore]

Animal cruelty yes, child abuse yes and no.

For one, a father who tells their children that young to do something so disturbing is very strange and sick but if he was forcing you to do it, even going as far as hitting because you said no then there is a major problem.

I read your post and saw that you have heart and I nod my head to you

[roads]

geez, I'm horrified for you that you're having to deal with such a memory that must be painful on two distinct levels. Your dad is guilty of both child abuse, to direct children in such activity as if it were sport, and animal cruelty. I hope you have someone safe you can process this with. ** safe hugs galore **

[Sannah]

That was really cruel of your dad. I think it is animal cruelty. Since you were able to walk away maybe not child abuse. But definitely a terrible thing to teach children.

[unaluna]

it is most definitely child abuse. your dad was probably also a victim of abuse.

[madisgram]

both. i think it must be a horrible memory but i wouldn't want you to bame yourself either.

I would say both too, The memory is still with you now so yeah child abuse it is, Why would your dad want to do such a thing to a poor little animal and get his kids to also beat it too? Child abuse IMO.

both...ah dads...they hold the ultimate power..over kids, over tiny animals...similar crap happened in my house too..

just to remind you that as a kid you are small & they are not & look what happens to those that are weak can happen to you & in a sick way..ain't it fun?

no dad...it wasn't...(altho my brother thought it was..but that's a whole nudder thread...)

i feel your pain...sorry for both of us...the good thing is that you realized it was wrong & don't hurt the weak. you could have swayed to the other side but didn't so his method of teaching was a failure...for that be proud...

[lynn P.]

((geez)) - I say both too. I'm very sorry this happened to you and your brothers and this is a very cruel act to expose anyone to. When I was a kid, a baby squirrel was blown out its nest during a thunderstorm ...so we nursed the baby to full adulthood, then let him free. I really look back on this fondly, having the squirrel sit on me.

One thing I instilled in my children is, they have free minds to make choices, rather than feeling this must listen and comply. This doesn't mean they can refuse brushing their teeth when I ask them lol. It means, if they're very uncomfortable with someone or something, they have the choice of refusing. If they don't want to hug a person who comes to dinner, that's okay. I also teach this same principle when they're with a group of friend, in case they're exposed to drugs, bullying someone etc. I'm sorry you felt forced to do this and weren't given this choice. Your instincts knew better and he didn't succeed.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by lynn P.

If they don't want to hug a person who comes to dinner, that's okay... Your instincts knew better and he didn't succeed.

This is so great, lynn. it would have meant so much to me, made such a big difference in my life. This is what I meant when I told my T that no one ever supported me.

[geez]

Originally Posted by stumpy

just to remind you that as a kid you are small & they are not & look what happens to those that are weak can happen to you & in a sick way..ain't it fun?

That's so true. Thank you for putting that thought together for me. What you say brings something to mind.

Another trigger warning..........

....................................................

My dad had a sick sense of humor at times.
He would also chase us around the dining room table with a belt threatening to hit us with it. He would laugh and my mom would stand there. At one point I decided I was done being chased and because I wasn't willing to play the game my dad lost interest in chasing me however he still had my older brother to chase. I would laugh too at my older brother as his fear was funny at that moment???? (I look back at the movie in my head and I feel so sad for my brother and angry at my father). At some point it was no longer funny to me and felt so wrong. I feel guilty as hell for laughing at first. In that 'game' my father never actually hit us but he knew we knew what he was capable of. My mother forbid him from 'spanking us'. I witnessed by ear a spanking of my older brother. It was really a beating. I seriously don't remember what happend to my brother for a week after that incident. I think it hurt for him to sit down. It haunts me today. He was only 5 and it was because I told on my brother for doing something wrong. I then learned it was best to be silent.

And yet in some sick way my father loves me? He doesn't beat us anymore as we are all adults. I don't think he's all bad? but the bad part I surely don't like!

Sorry for the downer of a post just processing.

[unaluna]

These scenes are probably in many of our pasts. My dad wasn't like this that I ever saw, but I saw my various uncles act out like this. Now that I know more about their pasts, as abuse and war and other stories have come out over the years - it's all just sad, and I kinda wonder why i'm the only one who is alone, and who was/is always in therapy. but I guess i'd rather be on the outside looking in at all that mess.

[purple_fins]

I agree with Sannah(how she is so wise, I'll never know)

I don't think it's child abuse for you, coz you weren't forced to do it and you could and did walk away.
I do think it was animal cruelty-- but I am VERY soft hearted when it comes to all animals-- I can't even use mouse traps that snap the little mouse's neck.......
I think since it wasn't a pet of the family-- but a wild rodent, probably your dad saw it as a menace, something that perhaps carries diseases. I believe some people don't regard those types of animals(wild, rodent types) to be on the same level as pets like dogs, cats and such.

I'm sorry for the squirrel, from your posts-- it sounds like your dad liked to sometimes show "power" over other things..... could have been from low self-esteem.

peace to you
fins

[Unrigged64072835]

Animal cruelty for sure. What a horrible way for the squirrel to die.

Emotional child abuse can occur when the child is exposed to violence or the abuse of others, including animals. So, by your Dad's words and actions I would say child abuse as well.

I'm so sorry that you had to go through this.