Lock the door

I recently shard this with my T that when my mom thought "something was going on" at home, she made my dad put a lock on my door. It was so I could control what happened. it did. Now i feel like i lock everyone out.

Oh my - I have no idea what to say except that this made me so sad. I am glad though, that you are talking it through with your T.

My thoughts are with you.

Thanks for replying. I saw how many people viewed but didnt post and i started getting that feeling I had said something too much.

I didn't know how why that memory is so vivid. I just remember sitting on my bed watching my dad install the lock. He was grumpy. It was saturday. Soon after, my mom came in to instruct me on locking my door. its a non-eventful memory, but inside i think somehow. it was big.

Your post made me sad too! I wish I had put a lock on my door.....maybe some of the bad stuff would not have happend to me......I am glad you are processing this in Therapy.
Keep up the good works.
Lilith

Was this a lock too lock you in or lock things out hon? I had a thing with a lock when I was a kid too and was pretty scary. The lock was too lock me in, so it was on the outside of the door. One of those hooks. Kind of freaks me out when I see one but I am not real sure the exact memories of it. All I can recall at this point was it was on the outside of a bedroom so my brother and I were actually locked inside.
Your thread makes me just want to give you a huge hug,
Cher

This is pretty wild because I have never been triggered by a thread before but this one I find is pretty scary. But I try to view it as a positive thing in fighting those so called demons.

thanks lilith and cherybery for your support.

Mine was a lock for me to lock ppl out. I was supposed to keep my dad from coming in my bedroom at night. I think just the embarrassment factor hurt my dad so it didnt happen anymore. so i guess it worked. Sorry if this triggered you, cherybery. hope u find some peace.

Truly, simple things like this can mean so much. And such simple things are my biggest triggers. The color of pale grey makes me so sick to my stomach -- it was the color of the walls of the room where I was so violently harmed. And rooms with the door closed and no windows -- same place -- make me shake uncontrolably. I just have to get out. We have a room like that at work for meetings, and I shake so hard people say I drank too much coffee -- it's not the coffee.

Be well,

mtd

((((((estersvirtue)))))))))))))
Your right mtd, sometimes it is the simplest things. Things that really would not make any difference to anyone else. So personal.