i cant stop hurting

i cant stop hurting.. things have been getting ore heavy in therapy. then i went to visit my parents and my brother got severly yelled at to the point he cried and he is a teen. My other brother is showing signs of sliding back into psychosis. My best friend again was selfish and put me down in front of friends during her birthday party. then the next session with T she gives me reading on the Borderline Mother to see if it is like my own mom. I've been spiraling ever since. I am feeling like such a horrible person -- acting out, binging purging.. i feel so down. i am so tired. I'm screwing up my life.

thanks rhapsody.. i appreciate it.

(((((((((((((( EV ))))))))))))))

((((((EV))))))) many times over... I have a pretty strong left shoulder if you ever find need of one.. I am so sorry that things are rough now. Please take care and keep posting here. Linda

thanks all...i was very sleep deprived last nigt, but i am feeling a bit better today.

i cant stop hurting.. things have been getting ore heavy in therapy.

It's a tough time, dealing with our hurts.

Sometimes when we face these issues, our anger gets turned inward and it's easy to lash out at ourselves.

You are not a bad person, sweetie. Just a hurting one.

Estersvirtue, I can really relate to how you are feeling, and what you are experiencing. We need to heal, but the old ways of coping with the pain only cause more pain now. For me, it's frightening to let the old ways go, like I won't be able to tolerate the pain and grief. I really have to find new ways, especially when my self esteem is really low from hurting myself. It's like there's a gap when acting out, or binging are gone. I have to get really creative to show love for myself even when I don't feel like I deserve it. For me, the most important thing is believing that I do deserve love, at least from myself. Today, it was a simple thing, giving myself the time be with a friend and finding reason to laugh out loud.

Thank you for sharing.

Be well,

mtd

(((((((((((((EV)))))))))))))) I am so sorry you are hurting right now.

thanks petunia.. that really touched my heart that you would say im not a bad person.

mtd.. i want to get to that point where i feel like i can accept myself. there is just so much anger inside.

bipolar bear .. thanks for your support.. it means alot. T

Thank you also rhapsody and fuzzybear ((((HUGGS)))