what's my heart, who is me .......

I v involved in different situations, and with a abused background, now i m in 30s. I suddenly realize I can not involve anyone anymore.......I still love men and care for them, but my heart is in...

I feel it abnormal, but no way of that.

as i already posted before, who is me....i know i need professional psy doctor help, but i want more adivies and supports too,
thanx

((( littlefish))) I do not know how to help as I am in a situation with abuse too but I do send you support and

I always involving in strange situations, those r not love relationships.............i think deep down i m trying to struggle out a way from involving someone...? but it is wrong. i need some enlightening.

((((((((( littlefish )))))))))))))
Im sorry you are feeling this way.
But it is ok to just take a break from men, or dating.
Expecially when you have been abused in the past.
And I know this from experience. You can feel how ever you need to feel.
Abuse can change your life completly, but you can also change your life.
You can PM me for anything.
Safe gentle hugs,
-Megan-

Yes, i m leaving dating or men or whatever for a few years up to now, i got a bad depression...

i just wrote to a online psy doctor telling him why i was always putting myself in a relationship all my life but actually all fake and empty, i feel i was always so curious about intimacy and love, i do not understand, cuz i nvever had those taste or feelings, and it is strange i was seeking that cuz actually my heart already v cold deep down when i was v little, and i was already a lonely soul.
and now i think intimacy is realy a wrong creation from God. If unconditional love is always there in any situations, why God created sex and intimacy? it only takes in lots evil and sin, and really bother or disturb true love..

It is a difficult situation and if you exclude sex the pickings are slim, but they are there. I have been in a relationship for 8 years now with the most wonderful man. For the first few years I just kept telling him I wasn't ready... he tried his luck now and again but he understood that I wanted to wait longer and he stayed by my side. A few years ago I told him everything that happened to me when I was in high school and his reaction was firstly that he left me, but he came back after 3 months and told me that he wants to be with me and marry me even if I choose never to have sex again... Now that's a match made in heaven.

What I'm trying to say is that it is good to stop dating and find yourself again, but don't despair in all men because there are a few gems out there...