Did anybody see Oprah today?

BEWARE Sexual and child abuse stories mentioned in this thread.

There was some proud heart felt stories, then there was those infamous tearjerkers her and her producers tend to throw. What got me most was the woman who went on a gut instinct that helped two severely sexually assaulted children get freed from their prison. The couple that did these horrendous crimes were incarcerated and brought to justice. It hurt me when they were describing how the 5 year old little girl was severely sexually assaulted, and when they described to the assaulter of the wounds he had absolutely no remorse.

Then another story that got me even worse was the video of two men fishing a trash bag out of the river. They were hearing strange cries coming from the bag, when they fished it out and opened it, it was a 2 month old baby girl in a little pink dress. Her mother threw her into a river in a trash bag. Tore me up, the video showed the entire incident, creeped me out thinking how a mother could possibly do that.

Of course Oprah has her good episodes, but the ones you remember, and (sadly) intrigued by are the sad ones like the ones I mentioned above. Why is it that the human nature is interested in the disgusting, horrendous, and upsetting events of the world. It's in the media, news, talk shows.....everywhere.

I don't understand it, yet I continue to watch them shows, and read the newspapers. Do you ever wonder why?

I saw bits and pieces of that today. really sad stuff

Yeah it was, I mean Oprah is trying to do a productive thing by putting the faces of sexual predators and a very high dollar ed award for them, but it bothers me that the world has more awful things to say then good. It seems like it's spread everywhere like a disease. No wonder people are depressed.....look at this world!

I know I'm condoning by mentioning it agian....but whats more powerful then knowledge and awareness...if we don't know about it, then we're unable to do anything about it.

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desirae said:
I don't understand it, yet I continue to watch them shows, and read the newspapers. Do you ever wonder why?

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Precisely! You are wondering "why? how? why!!!"

We cannot understand the minds of people who hurt others. We try to empathize with the perpetrator criminals, but we can't empathize. We try to sympathize, but we can't do that either.

For the victims who later become perps, I can't empathize or sympathize. I think they should of all people know better than to hurt another fellow human being. Even if you are just a victim of verbal abuse and later you become verbally abusive, I can't understand you. It breaks my heart to see/know that others are being hurt.

I hear ya, I wonder the same thing. It doesn't make sense, but in a way it does. Statistically a parent that abuses their child, or a husband that abuses his wife has been abused earlier in their life. It truly confuses me as well because if anybody was to understand the pain they inflict on their loved ones, should be them!!

Unfortunately ppl who were abused and never seek help for it, don't realize that the abusive nature has been ingrained into them as a default reaction to events. Dershowitz wrote a good book about this all :The Abuse Excuse. (He's a lawyer who writes about how those who were abused always use that excuse when they, also, abuse.

I don't watch Oprah. I know she means well, IMO she is misguided.

Yes I hear you the human race is a disgrace at times.... I remember when I was waiting in the doctor office for my niece and Oprah was on and it was about a gang of men that had raped a nine month baby girl and then left her to die in her own pool of blood.... some one passing by heard her cries and rushed her to the hospital - she is a live today at age seven (after multiple surgeries), and while she will never be able to have children of her own she has found a wonderful woman that adopted her and is trying to give her all the help & love she needs, both from the heart and from professionals.

This world makes me sick at times...................... YUCK -

LoVe,
Rhapsody - ((( hugs )))

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jennie said:

For the victims who later become perps, I can't empathize or sympathize. I think they should of all people know better than to hurt another fellow human being. Even if you are just a victim of verbal abuse and later you become verbally abusive, I can't understand you. It breaks my heart to see/know that others are being hurt.

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I'd suggest you read up on the cycle of violence - it may help you understand better.

It's very naive to suggest that people who have been hurt themselves should know better than to hurt other people.

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drunksunflower said:
I'd suggest you read up on the cycle of violence - it may help you understand better.

It's very naive to suggest that people who have been hurt themselves should know better than to hurt other people.

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I don't think it's ignorance or naivity on my part. It's anger. I'm angry at all perps! I think anyone who's been hurt knows enough to choose not to hurt another person. We aren't robots. We choose to do the things we do.

I can compare and contrast all perps to alcoholics. Alcoholics don't have anyone force those drinks down their throats. Alcoholics are alcoholics because they choose to drink. And, perps do what they do on their own volition. The difference between the two groups of people is that alcoholism is not a crime. There are alcoholics who drink and choose not to get behind the wheel to drive. Drunk drivers who from behind the wheel end up murdering others are exactly like ALL perpetrators. It is a choice to hurt others. All perps make the choice to hurt others.

The only incidence that is an excuse for a victim to victimize another is if that victim was forced (by another perpetrator) to violate or harm someone else.

Adults know the law and know counseling is available. All adults are accountable!

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jennie said:
I don't think it's ignorance or naivity on my part. It's anger. I'm angry at all perps! I think anyone who's been hurt knows enough to choose not to hurt another person. We aren't robots. We choose to do the things we do.

Adults know the law and know counseling is available. All adults are accountable!

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AMEN!! - hear hear...... I for one agree with what you said, for I have gone thru some unspeakable sexual abuse and the last thing I would ever want to do is to inflict that same type of pain onto another innocent child.

I took responsibility for my actions (making sure it did not happen) and got the help I needed - I stopped the cycle!

LoVe,
Rhapsody - ((( hugs )))

P.S.
Now - unless the abused seek help - they have a higher chance of repeating the abuse cycle, for they enter the realm of "Trauma Bonding" - doing that same thing that they hate and despise as a way of crying out for help.... freedom from their own inner pain.

There are millions of people who just live life the best they can. There are another millions that give and give and try to make the world better. There are a considerably smaller group of cold and soulless killers ranging in degrees of severity. The media only reports the shocking and shows like Opera sensationalizes it all and puts fear in the hearts of people by their graphic detail, all for wealth and ratings and ego. In my opinion, this borderlines her in the same league. (I have nothing against her, really, she is just the tool to this common practice). If you were shown a picture of the perp and a verbal description of the crime/offence, would you not be on notice to look for this person all the same?

Life really bites once in a while and really bad things happen to the innocent. Our fear is that the dangerous animals look like us and we can't see them coming, but don't negate the billions who have good souls. We also have an inherent ability to move forward after tragedy. Just ask anyone who has survived a war.

That's my two cents.

That's how I perceive the work of Oprah, and who ever else. It seems that attract people with the sickness of the world caught on video. People are simply intrigued by these videos for some reason.

Sadly, yes, it does boost ratings, and makes more money foe her and her producers.

The cycle of abuse may be influenced by their surrounding entertainment. Normal people would know of gang raping a child, unless they see and hear of it on T.V.

My perspective on the cycle of abuse is, well, different. I do agree with jennie when she said these people have a choice to carry on this cycle. It's not like a stronger force forces them to act out on their behavior. Of course therapy would reduce the chances for it to happen, but ultimately our minds determine what we do and where we go in life.

I also wouldn't consider that naive.....but an opinion different then yours.

What I don't understand, or hardly can fathom, is what the hell is going through these peoples minds when they decide to hurt a child, or commit other horrendous crimes. That part is the part I can't get.

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desirae said:
What I don't understand, or hardly can fathom, is what the hell is going through these peoples minds when they decide to hurt a child, or commit other horrendous crimes. That part is the part I can't get.

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Me either.... and because of this I will sadly NEVER be the same again.

Rhapsody -

Neither will any other child who's been hurt that way. It's sadly happened to one to many people.

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desirae said:
What I don't understand, or hardly can fathom, is what the hell is going through these peoples minds when they decide to hurt a child, or commit other horrendous crimes. That part is the part I can't get.

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These people fantasize over and over and over about overpowering someone. They love their fantasies and try to achieve perfect pleasure as they enact their fantasies which become violent criminal behavior. Why they repeatedly fantasize is because they become obsessed with the thoughts.

Men are very susceptible to sexual obsessions. If a man gets off in overpowering someone else . . . and he feeds his sexual obsessions and doesn't ask for help through counseling . . . then the man may cross the line and try to enact his fantasies.

child sexual offenders are narcissistic, obsessive/complusive, and antisocial personality disorder.

Unfortunately drunksunflower is right (her response is on page 1), abusers have more often than not been abused themselves. They find their own unhealthy way of coping with their situation by abusing others. Maybe it's a control thing, they have never really had control over the things that happened to them and now finally they are in a position to control someone else. Think of initiation at varsity. The seniors have all been through their own tough time of initiation and know how bad it can be, and yet they continue to humilate the first years when they get their chance! Often it turns out that the first years who have been handled the worst become the most terrifying seniors. It's a strange cycle, but it does exist, it's sad I know, and these people should know better, but the former abuse are clouding their judgement. For someone who grew up with a dad who beated him, it's become the norm for him to treat his own kids, he doesn't know better. He doesn't know what a loving relationship is like. That's why it's so important that people seek counselling after abuse, not just for their own benefit, but to stop the cycle.

Maybe that what it is, maybe these people don't know the other side, or anybody. How do you expect a person to be decent, if they've never ever seen decent before? It makes sense.

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desirae said:
Maybe that what it is, maybe these people don't know the other side, or anybody. How do you expect a person to be decent, if they've never ever seen decent before? It makes sense.

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I think the word here is EDUCATION.......
We need to start educating the people that we share this world with.... they need to learned about the consequences of their actions, that which will effect others, even loved ones.

LoVe,
Rhapsody - ((( hugs )))

That is one of the reasons why it is so important to seek help and not just keep everything to yourself. I think if some of the abusers read the posts on pc they would be amazed at the trauma and hurt that they have caused. To educate people we also need to speak up and make our voices of pain hurt so that others can know. I know it's easy to say, I for one am not ready to speak up... but we should. Why are we so afraid? It's not like we did anything wrong. Why do we feel so giulty then? That's beside the point... Yes Rhapsody, EDUCATION!

Hear hear....well said. I've always said and believe, that knowledge is more then just knowing something, it's power....and in this case influential power.

For me anyways, when I was being severely abused by my mother, I knew it was wrong, and even though it wasn't real, tv shows helped me see parents, mothers in paticular that didn't abuse their kids. In fact they got hugs and kisses even when they did something wrong. I got out of the house as soon as I legally could and changed the cycle. I could never do what my mom did to me. If I wasn't so strong, I would have been killed by my mom, I still carry that strength with me.

To me, maybe I am wrong, but I think people who are child abusers must not have much of a conscience to do the horrendace things that they do. If you even looked into a childs eyes I don't know how anyone can hurt such innocent creatures.

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exoticflower said:
To me, maybe I am wrong, but I think people who are child abusers must not have much of a conscience to do the horrendace things that they do.
If you even looked into a childs eyes I don't know how anyone can hurt such innocent creatures.

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(((( )))) (((( ))))

I too feel all your pain & hurt now as I know how it feel to have your all shoes & having to walk in them every day of your life!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Bipolargirl54 said:
I too feel all your pain & hurt now as I know how it feel to have your all shoes & having to walk in them every day of your life!!!!!!!!!!!!

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