[CalmingOcean]

I'm just wondering because I started seeing my 'trauma t' 3 months ago (or so I believe... Days run into themselves) so maybe 7 one on one sessions and 5 group sessions (where we practiced calm place, container and meeting room). She was going to do EMDR to process past crap but I couldn't open up to her and I kind of felt like I was going more crazy so she told me there was a new plan and her new plan is to transfer me to long term care with a new t.

Like holy s*#$ was I suppose to be cured by now?!

So how long have you all been going through the healing process?

[CANDC]

Calming Ocean, sorry you are having blocks with therapy.
Did you find the practice of "calm place, container and meeting room" helpful tools that you still use?

Sounds like your T has a therapy method they follow and it hit a roadblock. Maybe that is a sign that the t cannot help you further. Rather than just keep you on being roadblocked they are trying to find a t that can work around the roadblocks.

Healing process is ongoing. I never reached a point where I was magically healed and all my pain and suffering went away. It seems more like an onion where layers of pain peel away and new joy is foiund and also new deeper pains. So it can be a long time to feel whole, but having a t you can work with could be a way to go.

[healingme4me]

My T isn't' trauma' specific. I've been, in therapy, consistently since the end of 2007, beginning of 2008. First one, I went a couple sessions, wasn't keen on focusing on relaxation methods, perhaps because those were learned as a teen and still in place. Second one, I had two years, but my insurance changed, my current T, 4.5 years. My insurance bills at 8 approved visits per year, but paperwork can be reapplied. Not sure if my neurological illness plays a role or pdocs diagnosis of depression and anxiety, helps continue coverage. CBT alone can take 16sessions, but that's not specified on my insurance statements.

Sorry your T transferred you after three months. Was it insurance billing related?

Sent from my LGMS323 using Tapatalk

[amandalouise]

I dont know about in canada but herein america treatment providers transfer/refer their clients on to longer term treatment providers for many reasons...

examples....
when they feel they are not qualified to work with the problems that the client has

when the client begins to show more problems then what they came in to treatment for ...this can signal to a treatment provider things like the client willfully creating more problems to please the therapist rather than work on problems or it can tell a therapist that the client isnt comfortable with that treatment provider so in order to help the client the treatment provider must stop being their therapist and send them to someone else who the client may be able to be comfortable/less triggered with.

some mental disorders here in america also require long term and sometimes inpatient treatment example people with dissociative disorders are usually in treatment for over 10 years and end up in mental wards on and off because of violent behaviors.

trauma therapy (opening up about past trauma) brings with it, its own unique and sometimes dangerous behavior patterns that require a long term treatment provider and inpatient treatment.

my suggestion dont worry so much on the fact that this treatment provider is transferring you to someone else after so little time. count your self lucky. unlike many others who spend years with the same treatment provider it will be relatively easy for you to transfer to another treatment provider....less paperwork and less emotional guilt over possibly wasting years on the same treatment provider only to not get helped. now you can get the help you need from this new treatment provider you will be transferring to with out having to worry about finding someone new after the short term treatment is over. long term treatment providers can take their time with you and help you to work on your problems one step at a time at a pace that wont cause you more harm or more problems.

[ladytiger]

I was in therapy for 17 months and it was a nightmare. All that therapist and I did was argue as she always had to be right because she is a mom and a therapist! I get my therapeutic healing from going to the women's center been going there since dec 2012 and my social worker is awesome much more easier to talk to than my ex-therapist! In feb 2014, our sessions were coming to an end as there was nothing else for her to teach me thank god! I'd rather go to a holistic therapist where they connect your mind to body and soul instead of the usual boring traditional method that a lot of MHPs use.

I have seen a high school counselor and college counselor as all 3 (including recent therapy) were just plain miserable. I am glad the state paid for it because if it was my money, I would have been walked out of her office.

[mimsies]

I have been with my t for about a year. she let me take 6 months of skirting around the trauma before finally opening up. She lets me approach it in spurts as I choose, otherwise we just talk about what is currently happening, and work on calming methods and things. She was thinking of asking me to work with someone who does DBT for a while, but instead we formed a new plan together, and she got help and ideas from someone who is more experienced with trauma.

Bear in mind that this is a function of my t being very compatible with me and my needs, not because I am doing something particularly right. I have not previously had this kind of success with therapists.

[CalmingOcean]

Originally Posted by CANDC

Calming Ocean, sorry you are having blocks with therapy.
Did you find the practice of "calm place, container and meeting room" helpful tools that you still use?

Sounds like your T has a therapy method they follow and it hit a roadblock. Maybe that is a sign that the t cannot help you further. Rather than just keep you on being roadblocked they are trying to find a t that can work around the roadblocks.

Healing process is ongoing. I never reached a point where I was magically healed and all my pain and suffering went away. It seems more like an onion where layers of pain peel away and new joy is foiund and also new deeper pains. So it can be a long time to feel whole, but having a t you can work with could be a way to go.

Thank you for this, I do tend to want the instant gratification, the instant fix. I'm waiting to find the new joys.

[CalmingOcean]

Originally Posted by amandalouise

I dont know about in canada but herein america treatment providers transfer/refer their clients on to longer term treatment providers for many reasons...

examples....
when they feel they are not qualified to work with the problems that the client has

when the client begins to show more problems then what they came in to treatment for ...this can signal to a treatment provider things like the client willfully creating more problems to please the therapist rather than work on problems or it can tell a therapist that the client isnt comfortable with that treatment provider so in order to help the client the treatment provider must stop being their therapist and send them to someone else who the client may be able to be comfortable/less triggered with.

some mental disorders here in america also require long term and sometimes inpatient treatment example people with dissociative disorders are usually in treatment for over 10 years and end up in mental wards on and off because of violent behaviors.

trauma therapy (opening up about past trauma) brings with it, its own unique and sometimes dangerous behavior patterns that require a long term treatment provider and inpatient treatment.

my suggestion dont worry so much on the fact that this treatment provider is transferring you to someone else after so little time. count your self lucky. unlike many others who spend years with the same treatment provider it will be relatively easy for you to transfer to another treatment provider....less paperwork and less emotional guilt over possibly wasting years on the same treatment provider only to not get helped. now you can get the help you need from this new treatment provider you will be transferring to with out having to worry about finding someone new after the short term treatment is over. long term treatment providers can take their time with you and help you to work on your problems one step at a time at a pace that wont cause you more harm or more problems.

Thank you.

I just wish I knew going in she was short term. I even stressed that fact- I asked if I had a time limit with her and she assured me I didnt. I suppose she feels as tho I am not able to work with her since I was putting up new defenses to avoid trauma work... And now I think that is what is hurting most. I sacrificed this relationship with my t to self sabotage. God I feel so stupid for that. I can't stop missing her.

[CalmingOcean]

Originally Posted by mimsies

I have been with my t for about a year. she let me take 6 months of skirting around the trauma before finally opening up. She lets me approach it in spurts as I choose, otherwise we just talk about what is currently happening, and work on calming methods and things. She was thinking of asking me to work with someone who does DBT for a while, but instead we formed a new plan together, and she got help and ideas from someone who is more experienced with trauma.

Bear in mind that this is a function of my t being very compatible with me and my needs, not because I am doing something particularly right. I have not previously had this kind of success with therapists.

Wow that's exactly what I was doing- as you described, skirting around trauma... But I guess I wasn't suppose to be doing that. I was suppose to be able to open up by now...

[mimsies]

Maybe it wasn't about you, so much as her feeling that she was ineffective and couldn't do for you what you needed. And... if she felt so uncomfortable with letting you go at your own pace, maybe she isn't able to offer what is best for you. I don't know if that makes sense.

On the other hand, it is incredibly difficult to have to start over with new people, especially when being able to trust someone is so difficult. I can't help but wonder if her decision wasn't the best. Maybe she isn't accustomed to how long some people need to get to know and trust someone before being able to open up to them.

[CalmingOcean]

Originally Posted by mimsies

Maybe it wasn't about you, so much as her feeling that she was ineffective and couldn't do for you what you needed. And... if she felt so uncomfortable with letting you go at your own pace, maybe she isn't able to offer what is best for you. I don't know if that makes sense.

On the other hand, it is incredibly difficult to have to start over with new people, especially when being able to trust someone is so difficult. I can't help but wonder if her decision wasn't the best. Maybe she isn't accustomed to how long some people need to get to know and trust someone before being able to open up to them.

Thanks Mimsies, it does make sense... I think I've finally... Mostly... Come to terms with the fact ht she is only a short term t... Tho I think that should of been disclosed and not lead me to believe I had her as long as I needed... Tho I suppose if I felt rushed I might not of been ready any faster. I saw my addictions councillor today.. I didn't realize you talk about so much more than addictions... But she helped me understand a lot too. My T would mostly of gotten people on the tail end of therapy, where I'm still a newby at it.. Those people are more ready to open up because they've already done it. My self sabatoge was my mind yelling me I wasn't ready.. I guess this all makes sense. Maybe this new t won't be so bad... Still miss my t... But maybe it wasn't meant to work out I guess.

[mimsies]

I think it kinda bothers me a little when you call it self sabotage, because you are blaming yourself. I mean, I want you to understand that it isn't your fault, that you didn't do anything wrong. It just didn't work out. What you need is different than what she is able to give. That isn't self sabotage. It is just incompatibility.

It isn't your fault.

[CalmingOcean]

Oh god I wish I could agree... But honestly, I was bad... I was putting up walls, creating new parts, she would come and get me from the waiting room and I would already switch I to such a hyperaroused manic state I was really unworkable... I should of tried to control myself more. I left my t lots of voicemails of things I couldn't say in session and that was 'pushing boundaries'... I was a pretty bad patient. In one of my voicemails (Erm, the two I left after she said she was transferring me) I said it never dawned on me until his moment she might be transferring me because she is sick of me and hat I would be sick of me... And then proceeded to beg for her not to send me to someone knew...

At least I think I am finally over it. She was kinda mean at times I suppose.

[mimsies]

Ya know what? I think you will have a better time with the new therapist. You may have liked the old one, but it seems like when it came right down to it, you didn't really feel safe with her.

It will probably feel really hard having to start over again, but we are all here for you. We are all rooting for you.

You deserve to start feeling better. I hope you do. Just keep talking it out when you need to. *((((((((HUG))))))))*

[CalmingOcean]

Originally Posted by mimsies

Ya know what? I think you will have a better time with the new therapist. You may have liked the old one, but it seems like when it came right down to it, you didn't really feel safe with her.

It will probably feel really hard having to start over again, but we are all here for you. We are all rooting for you.

You deserve to start feeling better. I hope you do. Just keep talking it out when you need to. *((((((((HUG))))))))*

Thank you Mimsies, you really helped me lots through this.

[mimsies]

I'm glad. I feel like I was maybe being too pushy and bossy.