Bad night....(be careful if u trigger easily)

im so ashamed...im so self obsessed..
i feel like if i dont concentrate on this overwhelming feeling though, that itll get me
im so not worthy of anything...
im not worthy of being loved and cared for, i deserve to be by myself and ruin my own life and not affect anyone else...
i would rather die than hurt someone else or affect them so badly
i need love,
i want my daddy back
i want my mommy back
the normal ones(they were never normal to beging with but its nice to dream), not the drunk raging hating lunatics that dont love me
trying to concentrate on being a nurse...its not working
Oh you guys im so sorry for inconviencing you, you guys must hate me for wasting your space and just talking about myself...
I read someone who had Schizophrenia was afraid of Satan getting her....maybe i might have that (please dont think im a hypochondriac, i really do feel bad...both physically and mentally no body believes me,( my parents wouldnt allow me to go to the doctors except a ped. for a basic physical)I have no insurance, i have to wait, a friend who is an RN says i have lung damage, and its possible i might be getting arthritis (im only 18!) or it could be cancer...that runs heavily in my family...that scares me to
i am afraid of people getting me at night...i feel like ghosts are coming to get me ...my thoughts turn really loud into someone else talking, i hear people in my head screaming at me and all i can do is freeze in the fetal position and rock saying im ok
i just thought i had an overactive imagination
this is a bad night...im so worthless it sickens me...
Oh God you guys im so sorry, i dont want to make mistakes please forgive me...dont hate me, ill try to be better i promise
ill work really hard at supporting you guys...just please dont push me away

((((((((inacorner)))))))) hugs for you if you would like them. sitting here holding your hand and caring. things will work out. keep reaching out.
biiv

Ive read most of you topics. Your 18, and your life is YOURS now. Get a quick job and make some money so you and your boyfriend can maybe move away...like, FAR away. Start over. Your still young. We are always here to listen to your stories. In fact I WANT to read them. I do care about you. Youll be in my prayers, I promise you that. Love and hugs. Keep your chin up, cuz when your at the very bottom, you can only go up.

thank you
actually i have taken over my life...i am very far away from them...its just trying to get rid of what they instilled in me
i have found no matter how far i run though they will get me
my mother has refused me my birth certificate...and i suspect she has a few w2s that she isnt owning up to...which im despertely trying to get back...plus i have a little sister to worry about i am saving some money for her in case things get bad..but thats their real child so...they have treated her like a queen so far...we will see
you are all so nice to me thank you

(((((((( InACorner ))))))))))

I will be here for you... and don't feel you are inconveniencing anyone... this is what this site is here for....

Hi, I know how it feels when you don't want to burden others with your problems, but you deserve help and it helps us all to recover when we listen and give advice or just a word to let each other know we are not alone. There will be times when you need more than you can give, but that is o.k. If you weren't reaching out for help, or if you stop reaching out for help, we'll all feel worse. You don't have to apologize for reaching out. As you recover from the horror you have been put through, you will grow stronger. You will have times when you can reach behind to help another up, and times when you must reach up yourself for a hand. Together, we can all survive and thrive. I'm glad you are here.

Be well,

mtd