MAJOR CSA TRIGGER, BE CAREFUL, PLEASE

Part of my job is covering courts. Sometimes I like it, and sometimes it messes me up bigtime.

Today I had to write a story about two little kids, ages 8 and 11, whose 2 older brothers, ages 17 and 22, had been sexually abusing both of them for years. The 8 year old was only 5 when it started. She told somebody at school after she heard a presentation on staying safe when your parents are gone, and they called the sheriff.

The worst part is, not only are the two older boys charged, but so is the mother. She told those two poor little kids to lie, because as one of them said she said, "what happens at home, stays at home." They told her repeatedly that they were being abused and she ignored it.

My CSA involved my mom. I don't know if my dad ever knew or not. My sibs (who are much older) never did, still don't, and won't ever, because I am not telling. It's not to protect my mom, it's to protect ME, from disbelief and accusations that I'm making it up and stuff, because since it didn't happen to them, it can't be true, right? They all think I'm a drama queen and mental as it is.

My heart aches for those poor little kids, but for me too. It's being selfish, I know, but they're going to get justice, and I'm not, ever. It makes me mad sometimes that I grew up in times when stuff like this wasn't recognized and people in authority routinely didn't do anything about it. One way or another, I have suffered my whole life because of that, and when relatives go to prison for doing to kids what was done to me, it makes me sad that I won't have the satisfaction of knowing that my mom paid for what she did to mess me up for life.

BTW, both the older brothers admitted to all of it. The mom has yet to say a word.

candybear, that story would get to anyone, much less one of us. I think that story would have hit me hard because my abuse was not perpetrated by adults. I was molested by older kids and none of them will every pay for it.

It's unfair, cruel, and just generally %#@&#! up. But you also have contact with that world that brings justice for others and if possible, I'd try to get some comfort from that.

Cyran0

The story is absolutely horrible.. and I am glad that these children are getting justice.... for me.. when a child in the here and now gets justice.. sometimes it feels like.. I am getting justice for the things that happenned to me...

(no.. my abusers did not get punished.. the band instructor my pedophile.. did get caught 20 years later with a child.. but plea bargianed out of any jail time)....

so I am so sorry that you have not had your justice... and also for all of us.. that have not had our justice....

CandyBear-
I understand what you mean. My family member and I, both abused by a neighbor, never told anyone. But we would say to each other that we knew that one or both of us had been abused. A trigger brought the truth out for my family member. We got a hard dose of reality. We shared it with family and all they could say was that they are sorry they didn't know. My family members family should've known. The signs were there-big and wide open. My family mbr has suffered for years with mental issues stemming from the abuse(s) over the years. I find I have my own demons too.
I hope you can find someone you can trust to talk this out.
Peace
~Ocean~