I felt really good today. relaxed for once. certain things really bother me. I don't know why, just the way people act in here sometimes.
i feel paranoid today, my mind is working in mysterious ways.
this place was safe for me, comforting. not sure any more.

no point in coming in here to be hurt. get that on outside enough.

oh well, nothing good lasts forever...maybe cos i'm taking 30gm more prozac than yesterday or something oh god idk - sorry to rant - need to get it out

jin

[JustAPixie]

(((((((( jinny ))))))

These feelings come and go, it's normal. I hope I didn't hurt you in any way... You are great, you should know that, and a lot of people here would agree to that...

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((( jinny ))))))))))))))

wasn't you pix, someone i thought cared that's all...

(((((fuzzy))))))

thankyou fuzzy. hate feeling like this....

[cajun]

Jinn, What is wrong? You sounded OK earlier. Hope you feel better.Don't know what else to say. Hope your highs and lows stabalize. I'm here if you need me.

just need a friend i can trust.....

but i don't trust so what use is it.

[biiv]

jinny, am so sorry someone hurt you. trust has to come in very very little steps. ive been on this site a year now and i am still working on trusting. it might not be too healthy to take as long as that but little steps is key.
perhaps you can take this incident (whatever it was) as a learning experience reminding you to keep yourself safe but remember that most people are trustworthy to a certain degree. some more than others. hang in while you work out which people are more trustworthy than others ok?
maybe also this other person may have been acting from their own stuff and not have realised the impact they would have? or said something while triggered/in the spur of the moment and regret it now?
i dont know what happened but please dont let it stop you from reaching out. there are people who will reach back.
((((((((((((jinny))))))))))))))))

maybe also this other person may have been acting from their own stuff and not have realised the impact they would have? or said something while triggered/in the spur of the moment and regret it now?



It's really hard, but very important to always keep that in mind. Everyone here is dealing with issues and that sometimes gets in the way of communication.

Hang in there...

yes biiv, you hit the nail on the head. i am very oversensitive today, high dose of meds for first timeand took everything out of context.

i appologise to everyone.

specially the person i hurt, who i know is a true friend and i'm a selfish cow for believing anything else

truly sorry, wish i wasn't such a f.....g idiot

xx

((((((caj)))))

sorry if i was angry earlier, i can be very selfish sometimes and took it out on you.please forgive me, i love your friendship and as usual, just f....d up. hope you're still speaking to me
no excuse, butnew meds high dose and feel like crap.

i just vented on wrong person. my bezzy mate!!!!!

sorry

jin xxx

[Talulah]

((((((((((((((((((((((Jinny)))))))))))))))))))))))

Sometimes I get "prickly" in here too and things said can get me ruffled, but I try really hard to back off and treat all with respect. I'm sure this person knows how incredibly fantastic you are and that some days are better than others.

It's ok to be honest when you feel bristly as well, true friends try to work through this stuff together and it's ok to express how you're feeling. I think yea, that's the trust thing, how one reacts to seeing the less attractive side of us is the key to finding if they truly accept us and respect us.

Sorry you felt hurt, it's so uncomfortable......

((((((((((((TALULAH)))))))))))))))

THANKYOU TALULAH

iam so sad that i took my friends words the wrong way, hedidn't evend do anything wrong to be honest. just my stupid brain goinginto overdriveand paranoid mode. i push peopleaway all the time and i have no right to treat people the way ido.
i feel selfush and because of my actions he had some bad words off ther people. that hurts me. he didn't deserve that at all.

i feel like runnung away, but i don't know how i'd manage without this place. i let my friend down. and i know he isn't feeling too good himself. why am i such a *****. people care about me and i just don't deserve it. and i loved your post about climbiing out with dessy. brilliant. you are a star.

talk soon, luv ya, jinnyann KERRY XXXX

[Talulah]

Hey Jinny, part of what makes us complete people are flaws..........you are so caring to actually feel so badly for hurting another. Your empathy and compassion are a gift. Saying you're sorry is difficult to do. Don't berate yourself further, you are not a *****!
Sometimes we let people down, and usually it's the people we care for or need the most....this is why it's hurting you so bad.

I like you so much more after reading this thread.

I would be so lucky to have a friend like you, a little afraid to trust like me, and admit to misunderstanding others......that would make me feel safe as I relate and perhaps your friend can too. Push all you want, if your friend is true they will always be there for an apology and in return give a hug of acceptance.

BTW, you absolutely deserve it, we all do.

thankyou talulah,

my heart is breaking actually, for not being able to trust such wonderful people. this person is the tower ofstrength to everyone in here, and think he is upset today. i don't know what to do. i just have to push anyone who comes near me away.
this is what i have always done, but i will make it up to this person somehow. just hope he's ok. thankyou for caring, you are a dear friend, you helped too. thankyou

love to you and a big hug kerry xx(jinnyann) xx

[desperado]

((((((((((((((((((((Jin)))))))))))))))))))))))

So sorry to hear your trust was compromised. I hope it wasn't me? What can I do to help?

That is a very difficult situation........I hope it works itself out.

PM me if you want to talk.......thinking of you.

Love,

Desy

[sujunew]

jinnyann, i have just read this and I REALLY hope it was nothing that we talked about 1 time in chat that has anything to do with this... hoping things are better now...take care

hi irish, no it wasn't you sweetie. it wasn't anyone, i ttok something the wrong way totally and hurt my bewst friend in the process, sorry if i caused you to worry. i have been feeling really anxious , but i'm ok now thanks. really turned a corner to be honest.

just goes to show you can turn around in a week!!

HOPE YOU ARE OK, SPEAK SOON XXX