[lostmymarbles]

i grew up in an abusive home. rich but abusive. my father beat us with a belt when we pissed him off which was frequent and most often for no good reason that i can remember. my mother was a real piece of work. she never had much to say unless we pissed her off, and then it was to remind us that we were lazy or fat or unmotivated, or, my personal favorite, stupid. stupid cow. surprised they didnt put it on the birth certificate. so i was sexually abused for about three years and have spent the last however many years since then suicical, self-destructive, miserable, occasionally drug addicted or drunk, unmotivated. . .it goes on and on. today the evil one (aka mother) actually threatened to sue me if i didnt bring my children to visit her and dear old dad. hello? have i lost my hearing or did you say i should bring my children to hell house? that was topped by my bastard of a brother telling me i shouldve been able to move past my past. of course. i should be normal happy and well-adjusted. why wouldn't i be? the first seventeen years of my life werent disgusting perverted twisted and frightening. they were full of puppy dogs and birthday cakes and mary poppins. the vein in my forehead is pulsing and about ready to pop and right now i would like nothing more than to carve myself like a halloween pumpkin. haven't cut in six months but at the moment it sure seems better than a warm bath or a hot cup of tea.

(((((((lostmymarbles)))))))))) She can't sue you for not bringing the children to visit. Your family sounds very toxic-especially your Mom, by the way you describe her.
Can you have contact with her as little as possible?
I'm in the process of letting go of my family because it's not a healthy relationship for me. Not as abusive as yours but it makes me feel really bad about myself.
I hope that you're okay.

[Rapunzel]

((((((((((( marbles )))))))))))))

You have had a really rough life. Getting over all of those things isn't something that anyone can just do. If you try to stuff it away somewhere, it comes out someplace, such as self-destruction. I hope that you can get some help, because you shouldn't just have to live with those effects on you. And I think that protecting your children by not exposing them to people who are not safe is the right thing to do.

I would like to invite you to also visit our self-injury forum. You will find others there who can understand the way that you feel.

TC,
Rap

[kimmydawn]

Hi and welcome to PC.

I so understand your anger and pain. I applaud your protecting your children.

Please, if you're not, consider therapy. It literally changed the quality of my life.

KD