This is messed up....

I confronted my dad about why he didnt help
me when he was told about my brother sexually abusing me. He said he didnt
know anything about it. I was there when my mother told him! He just doenst
want to remember. Thats how he is being right now. I asked him how does
that make you feel that I was molested by my brother and raped by his friends ? He said not very good. But
it still didnt give me the right to mismanage his affairs. He said there's
nothing he can do about it now. Never a sorry .. nothing!!!!Who was this
man that I cared for all these years?

Yes this is something that has been on my mind today. I dont understand it. I know some people cant show their emotions . But for someone I was supposed to mean so much to.. this is f***ing rediculous! I AM SO HURT ... just makes me sick to my stomach. Everyone else is supposed to own up to THEIR mistakes when it comes to him.. but not him!

(((((((((((((sweet)))))))))))))

So sorry this has happened. I hear you.My so called mother
is in denial, I have to face that soon.

I'm sending gentle caringhugs ifthat's ok. Know you are special, that's all that matters, YOU, take good care of yourself

Jinny xoxoxoxoxoxo

I'm so sorry. That is very bad.

Maybe you should tell him that you wished he could be more compassionate about it, even that you want him to feel bad that it happened and be protective of you.

I'm so sorry, sweetie. It was very brave of you to confront him, though. I hope you can find at least a little bit of peace in having been able to do that. I'm sorry he was such a jerk to you about it, then and now. I know how hard it is not to think otherwise in the face of stuff like this, but his refusal to deal with it is on his conscience, not yours. You did the best you could. You are a good person and you DID. NOT. DESERVE. what happened to you, even when people try to make you think you did.

I'm struggling with this too right now. Maybe we can struggle and cry together. I could use some company.

Gentle hugs, if OK. I am so freaking triggered by my own stuff right now that I can't bear the thought of being touched even virtually, so I understand if you'd rather not. Just know I'm thinking of you and I care.

Much love, Candy

(((((((sweet))))))) so sorry hunni. some people like to keep their heads in the sand. like if they cant see it, it doesn't exist. they hide from the truth because they can't handle it. the truth hurts so they hide their faces, plug their ears, and cover their mouths like the three monkeys. i know you are hurt and i can understand why. i am so sorry. does your father act this way towards your brother as well? seems to me he would be the one to act so cold towards.

much love and healing thoughts to you.
recluse1

(((((((((((((((((bethy)))))))))))))))))))

as much as we want sometimes families just dont step up to it
hurt as we are one day we accept and move on
ive taken to choosing my own new family
ones that are everything i need and want
as much as they can be
ive diowned as many that i can from my actual family

bethy u r a wonderful person
this was not ur fault
and its ur fathers problem not urs that he cant accept it
dont let it drown u
look up to the sky and see the light shine so brightly on u
cos u are special
u are loved
(((((((((((((bethy)))))))))))))))

Retorical question: What does one thing have to do with the other as far as your dad is concerned?

Suppose maybe you confronted him at the wrong time? If he's upset with you because he thinks you mismanaged his affairs, his mind won't make room for your problems, Hon.

You can see the outward, physical symptoms of his stroke. What you don't know is what happened in his memory.

What you need to do now is tell yourself that you did the best that you could as far as your dad is concerned. Can't say that I would have done anything different of the things that you have posted. Is he back home yet? If not, then maybe he's too upset with you still because you put him in a rehab hospital. They get that way, you know... really unreasonable!

Just take care of you, Hon. Give yourself possitive strokes and affirmations. If you did make mistakes it was because you've never gone through something so difficult before. I still wish I'd done things differently with my mom. It does no good to beat yourself up for it. The bell can't be unrung. What happened, happend. Forgive yourself and then be gentle with yourself. You know you did the best you knew how at the time. You can't ask any more of yourself than that.

(((((((((((((( Bethy )))))))))))))