feel abuse and let down all over agian. sposed to go pdoc, she/he called in sick. feelings of rejection and abandonment all over again. no one really gives a %#@&#! anymore. have to see nurse...wow....she cant diagnose or change my meds. nother week of crap crap crap crap crAP

NEED TO LEAVE THIS BLOODY HOUSE AND GET AWAY FROMAVERYONE

hiope they put me away so i can get some peace and get away from uncaring cold fish of a husband. going to see nurse at 1pm. like she can help(not)

feel like running away. so angry confused and let down

((((((((((((((jinny))))))))))))))))

why dont you take a trip away even if you just get out for the day
and the nurse may just help by being able to listen at least

it saddens me to see you sad
your a beautiful person jinny
hope you make it

[katheryn]

take care jinnyann remember to tell the nurse how your feeling especially as you should be seeing a pdoc, they might be able to get you another appointment to see pdoc as soon as hes back, our mental health system sucks, there isnt enough docs or cpns to go around. take care

oh i just ranted in another of my posts, basically, no pdoc for 2 years. doc lied. said i was going to see one today. what he meant was seeing a nurse so she can assess me to see pdoc. rather crap one thinks. like a nurse knows anythimg about sexual abuse, she admitted she didn't
ended up telling her waste of f.......g time and ran out.

really have no idea what to do now. rejection at its best. no one gives a flying rats arse any more. paedophiles get safe houses and bloody life of riches n %#@&#!. what do we get nothing,

i wish i could kill the lousy perverted %#@&#! low life with a baseball bat.

he ruined my life and my mums relationshipwith me.

what's the point. this counry sux big time.

one good thing happened though, tony gave me a real GOOD hug today.
sorryi'm just pissed off

[InACorner]

((((((((((((Jinny))))))))))))))

My dearest jinny...what a load full of crap they are...i think you have given me enough energy to buy a round trip plane ticket to go to England and kick some butt....what a piece of baloney they are...hold on sweety...all the legal...writing...documentation...and first step processes...will eventually be over with...(((Jinny))) then you can tell your offical pdoc what a load a crap it is to call off the first time is unacceptable and go through your feelings with that...lol that should be a great first conversation starter. I hope things get better...and you know what...i say screw um all and go on a WEEK vacation...even if it means staying a friends house...think of it as a really long sleepover....lol Good luck my darling e mom....may everything go your way....Love, Inny

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((( jinny )))))))))))))))

I can't really make a useful comment on this but sorry you're dealing with such a bunch of buttholes

[Talulah]

Jinny....................lovely girl...............i am so sorry! Wished I had riches, would fly you here.....to my safehouse! We would get the meds sorted out straight away! I am so sorry you are suffering.....wish they'd do more to help you.

xoxoxo

Hang in there...

[biiv]

yep. english medical system really really bites big time. do see if you can get on the list for the p doc anyway though hon. even if it is two years wait and even if the person you get at the end is crap it will give you something to focus on, like a potential safety blanket coming your way. keep having faith in the possibility of healing is i guess what im trying to say. and in the meantime during the wait do everything you can for yourself, get yourself talking to someone - the nurse, your doctor, a religious person, the samaritans, anyone who will listen with a kind ear! and keep coming here.
from the little i know you i know you have the strength and dedication to beat this for yourself because you deserve peace. you deserve a better quality of life than this.
whenever im really struggling (usually with exams cos she doesnt know about my mental health issues but the same idea applies!) she always says dont go down without a fight. like when we feel hopeless and we re drowning and KNOW we cant make it any further then at least we can get a good last kicking struggle as we go out. just the thought of that can sometimes be enough to make me fight past the moment.
and you have so many people here at PC standing behind you holding you up.
((((((((((((((jinny)))))))))))))))))))

thanks guys.

you know what, this may sound like me being a hypocrite after everything i say about my mum. but she is trying so hard to make amends. she has offered to pay to see pdoc privately. so i am going to do it. she obviously wants to say sorry in her way, which is good. i would love a proper relationship with her. she is v worried about me, so i have to learn to forgive and forget. at least i will be seeing someone soon. then i'll stop all the moaning and whinging.

thankyou all for being here. i might be some help once i get myself sorted lol.

love every single one of you. hugs

kerry (jinnyann) x0x0x0x