My husband of almost 13 years treats me like, no matter what I do is never good enough. Sometimes I feel ugly, boring, stupid, not worth of having a conversation, then I snap out of it and remember that I am OK, that I am fun to be around according to a lot of people that know me. I hate that I let him to this to me. My husband is continuously pointing out at things I should have done, or things that I did but should have done differently. He says things that make me give up trying, it is never good enough!!! I hate that I am questioning myself and my abilities when I used to think of me as a bright and fun woman!!! How do I get out? We have three kids that love him!

gab

[Fuzzybear]

Welcome to the board, gab! There are a lot of wonderful people here who have helped me out a lot, and I am sure they will do the same for you. I am glad you are here,

Take care,
Fuzzy

[Butterfly_Faerie]

It is hard to say whether what you are expierencing is indeed abuse. IF it he putting you down and making you feel worthless etc, then it is abuse. Emotional as well as verbal.

I'm sorry you are feeling this way, i'm sorry you don't feel appreciated etc.

You will find alot of support here, these are wonderful people, and welcome to the family.

<font color=red>~Sundance~</font color=red>

<font color=blue>"Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze yourself to determine whether it is justified. If it is, correct yourself. Otherwise, go on about your business."</font color=blue>

<font color=black>Norman Vincent Peale</font color=black>

[SweetCrusader]

It sounds like emotional abuse to me. I'm sorry you're going through this!

SweetCrusader

"Blessed be the cracked, for they let in the light"
-Author Unknown

[Taonuviel]

Do you think marriage counselling would be a possibility? Maybe confronting it would help. Do you think he does this maliciously, or maybe he'd like to change it?

[Butterfly_Faerie]

It could help, might just take some time, and both partners will have to want it as well. I

<font color=red>~Sundance~</font color=red>

<font color=blue>"Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze yourself to determine whether it is justified. If it is, correct yourself. Otherwise, go on about your business."</font color=blue>

<font color=black>Norman Vincent Peale</font color=black>

Sometimes I think he knows that he is doing and doesn't care, sometimes, he acts as he recognized what he did wrong and truly wants to change. It is like a sick cycle where, sometimes he's this horrible mean man that crushes me everyday, then something clicks and he feels terrible and changes his behavior for a short period of time (2 weeks or a little more), then everything goes dead in our relationship, and then he goes back to crushing me, etc.
It is sickening, I feel I should be supportive and help him become a better person. But I AM TIRED of trying and seeing my life pass by. He is not getting better, we've counseling, he's done individual counseling (for a short period of time of course). It just simply has gotten old. I don't want to try any more ( sorry ). But I am scare in regards to how to get out of the relationship as peacefully as possible...I don't want to be scare no more.

gab

[Butterfly_Faerie]

If this is something that is continung and not happy in it, and you don't see change happening, or he doesn't seem to care that this has affected you have you thought about ending it?

Or is this not an option for you?

<font color=red>~Sundance~</font color=red>

<font color=blue>"Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze yourself to determine whether it is justified. If it is, correct yourself. Otherwise, go on about your business."</font color=blue>

<font color=black>Norman Vincent Peale</font color=black>

I want to end it, I just don't have the gusts. I' am trying so hard to get the guts, but he's sooo smart. When he sees me getting strong, he changes his behavior and is nice, so, I feel guilty about wanting to leave him, and the cycle starts again, and again, and again.
On top of that, people would never suspect I'm such an idiot when it comes to my home situation. I am well spoken, successful at what I do, most people that know me think of me as a high profiler, so I shouldn't be in the situation I'm in.
I am so gutt-less is horrible, I am mad at myself for that.

gab