[booboo66]

This morning I can barely type the words because my hands won't stop shaking. My h went into one of his rages last night that lasted for hours. And he just went off on me on the telephone. It doesn't matter to him if I beg him to stop or the impact his rages have on me.
I feel like I am facing death each day. I feel so worthless even though my head knows that is not true. I just don't understand how someone can attack you and then get up and go to work like normal. Sometimes when I hear his voice, I just drop to the floor and curl into a ball. Without thinking, my body just seems to do it. At work, if someone unexpectedly walks into my office, I jump or have to fight back the tears because I am so scared of what is coming.

I just can't deal anymore.

[heatherm]

(((((((((((Booboo))))))))))))))

I am so sorry you are going through this. Is there a women's crisis centre that you can call and take the steps for your safety? I went through this too as well as the physical abuse. Know that we are here for you ok? You are not alone and you can get through this.


Heather

[PlanningtoLive]

Hi Booboo ************hugs********************

I understand also, been there (still am) and done it. I used to flinch anytime someone moved too quickly or raised their hands near me. Now if someone comes up behind me and doesn't warn me, there is a distinct possibility I will turn around and swing at them or hit them.

You don't deserve any of this. It is NOT your fault, you haven't done ANYTHING to cause the rage. The issues lie within him. You need to find the strength to leave and get some help.

It isn't easy to do but there are many groups out there that can and will help you. Do you have children? Protect them and yourself - leave as soon as you can. The sooner the better.

Take care of yourself and keep us updated, please.

Mary Alice

I know what is like to "walk on egg shells" everyday. I know what is like to never be good enough, I know what is like to be insulted, crushed emotionally, and mostly, I know what is like to feel devastated and lonely, while Mr. can just get up an go on with his normal day like nothing happened.
Ask yourself, why are you still in that situation, how long have you guys been together, is it worth it, and start making decisions, a little one at a time, it is very scary and very hard to "escape". There is no way out with a short cut. Just Plan, have an strategy and start taking little careful short steps to freedom...or to what ever it is that you want.

gab

[Butterfly_Faerie]

Check out this article that I found..

<A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.bellaonline.com/ArticlesP/art12424.asp>http://www.bellaonline.com/ArticlesP/art12424.asp</A>

Here are some suggested books, maybe you can go and look them up and see if they can help you with your situation?

Emotional Abuse: Trauma & The Treatment
Author: MARTI T LORING

The Past Gets in My Eyes: Right Brain Imagery and Hypnotherapy for Treatment of Sexual, Physical, Emotional Trauma and Abuse
Author: Jack Birnbaum
Healing the Scars of Emotional Abuse, rev. ed.
Author: Ann McMurray, Gregory L. Jantz

Setting Yourself Free: Breaking the Cycle of Emotional Abuse in Family, Friendships, Work and Love
Author: Sarakay Smullens

Angry Men & the Women Who Love Them: Breaking the Cycle of Physical & Emotional Abuse
Published By: Beacon Hill Press of Kansas City

Healing the Wounds of Emotional Abuse: The Journey Worth the Risk
Author: Nancy Benvenga

The Many Faces of Abuse: Treating the Emotional Abuse of High-Functioning Women
Author: Joan Lachkar


If I find something more that I feel will help you I will send it your way.

I hope this helps hon, take care of yourself.


<font color=red>~Sundance~</font color=red>

<font color=blue>"Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze yourself to determine whether it is justified. If it is, correct yourself. Otherwise, go on about your business."</font color=blue>

<font color=black>Norman Vincent Peale</font color=black>

[booboo66]

Thanks for all the encouragement and understanding. I have set a goal to find and join a domestic violence support group by 7 June. It will help to keep focus on what I want and that things are not ok. Sometimes being so tired and scared, I end up only concentrating on survival.

[Butterfly_Faerie]

Good for you I really hope the support group will help you.
Let us know how it goes.

<font color=red>~Sundance~</font color=red>

<font color=blue>"Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze yourself to determine whether it is justified. If it is, correct yourself. Otherwise, go on about your business."</font color=blue>

<font color=black>Norman Vincent Peale</font color=black>