What am I afraid of?

So this is my homework this week. Why I don't stand up for myself, at work, my step mom, my sister, etc. Not sure if I should put this here, under COA or under psychotherapy. I think the people in this group will understand.

At work: Afraid of not reacting correctly, afraid of over-reacting, afraid of being fired!

Step mom: when I was a child, afraid of being hit, afraid of disappointing her, afraid of her ignoring me, afraid I was over-reacting. Now: GOOD QUESTION. If I am being VERY honest, only that she will not give me my half some day when dad passes away.

Dad: Afraid of being wrong, afraid of disappointing him, afraid he will stop talking to me. Afraid he will dislike me is probably the biggest.

Sister: when I was young: afraid of physical confrontations. Now: afraid she will turn dad against me, she already tries. Afraid of physical confrontations.
Am I over-reacting.

I guess I am afraid that I am wrong, that I don't have the right to stand up, that the person addressing me is right and I don't have the right to defend myself cause I am wrong.

Make sense? It is hard to say now, since with my step mom, we have so little interaction these days, and it has been a very long time since there has been a really ugly situation. The last time I saw her, she came to town to help my sister while she recovered from surgery. She just came by one day to see my house renovations and go out to dinner. How did I feel? I was worried the whole time that she wouldn't like my house, that she would think I was fat since I have gained weight, that she wouldn't like my hair, whatever. This very heavy weight of fear, desperation, I don't know why.

Perhaps you are afraid of confrontation and your ability to defend yourself so you unknowingly you avoid and may even be codependent.

Yes yes and yes.

Often that develops when one grows up around individuals who "need" to have the control and have others live by their opinions of what is right. A quest for approval is often a quest that can lead to no where and missery simply because there is no such thing as "perfect". You are not alone with this fear and this fear has become very marketable and profitable for many who create something to have/own/achieve/support that represents "if you have this you should be admired". The old fashioned name for this is "keeping up with the Jones's".

Yes, growing up in my house, we weren't allowed to have opinions. To make decisions. It was a very strict and quiet household. I cant count how many times we were told children were to be seen and not heard.

Yes,,I grew up with high functioning alcoholic father!he was a yeller/criticized/made fun of us and mom. She was not working/had many kids...so she just stayed,always we had to be quiet/on best behavior so not to upset him.he like to be in control/king of castle...then I married a man-not alcoholic but yeller/criticized...always had to be Right!! So,I always used to be quiet not argue..then our issues started because I realized I do have valid opinions,I am right sometimes and he is not the boss of me!