I'm not talking about regular doctors, I only mean when they would give you a female examination. I know with regular doctors for that like gynecologists you can choose your doctor and make sure they are female--and I did that, but for a reason I'd rather not go fully into I'm afraid of needing to go to the Emergency Room for something like that and ending up with a male doctor. Because of things, that situation is extremely triggering for me.

I feel like I would be unlikely to go to the Emergency Room knowing this is a possibility. The hospital itself is rude enough to me so I doubt even if I attempted to explain, which I have in the past and no one cared, they wouldn't try to find me a female doctor.

And I also feel very guilty, like I'm being discriminatory or judgmental in some way, but maybe that feeling is caused by my past also, which I also feel guilty for.

How do you handle triggers like this?

[mimsies]

I am also afraid of male doctors. When it becomes necessary, I just do what I have to do, and fall apart when I get home. It sucks.

[ThisWayOut]

I have a similar fear. It can be really unsettling going to the er and finding out there's littlelittle choice... I've found some hospitals to be really receptive (or at least pretend to be) to finding a female physician. At one point, when I was struggling a lot with ptsd from abuse, and also self harming, I wound up in the hospital several times. I expressed my fear as best I could, and explained that an exam by a male doctor would be incredibly triggering. Most of the time, they did their best to find a female Dr. The times they could not, there was always a female nurse present... without fail, the exams by the male doctors were extremely triggering, but they managed to give me something afterwards to help calm down.

If you can find a way to express your fear to them, even if you just tell them you have a history of abuse and ask for a female doctor, they should be somewhat responsive. Maybe write a short note if you can't say it? .. I'm sorry to hear they are generally rude. It can suck when the people we seek help from make us feel un-cared-for (I've had my fair share of that too).

Originally Posted by ThisWayOut

I have a similar fear. It can be really unsettling going to the er and finding out there's littlelittle choice... I've found some hospitals to be really receptive (or at least pretend to be) to finding a female physician. At one point, when I was struggling a lot with ptsd from abuse, and also self harming, I wound up in the hospital several times. I expressed my fear as best I could, and explained that an exam by a male doctor would be incredibly triggering. Most of the time, they did their best to find a female Dr. The times they could not, there was always a female nurse present... without fail, the exams by the male doctors were extremely triggering, but they managed to give me something afterwards to help calm down.

If you can find a way to express your fear to them, even if you just tell them you have a history of abuse and ask for a female doctor, they should be somewhat responsive. Maybe write a short note if you can't say it? .. I'm sorry to hear they are generally rude. It can suck when the people we seek help from make us feel un-cared-for (I've had my fair share of that too).

Maybe the reason is because I live in such a large city and they deal with so much but any time you go to the ER basically treated like a criminal here. Come in with severe pain and it's automatically suspected that you're looking for drugs. Challenge anything they say and they send security in because they think they're about to be attacked. Or, in the case I mentioned above, they wouldn't try to have a conversation with me they would just repeat the same thing over and over, "That's not possible" after everything I said and then act annoyed with me. Which is also a trigger when people just don't care.

No one ever told me I was allowed to just get up and walk out for non-psychiatric issues. Until I was 20 for some reason I didn't know. Now once when I was in the ER for psychiatric issues, all I was doing was crying and they gave me a shot that put me to sleep because for some reason they took my crying as a threat to them.

Note to anyone who reads this: Do not move to Middle Tennessee!

[ThisWayOut]

I'm sorry you went through that... S. FL. was like that assuming I was drug-seeking...

If it's a large-enough area, can you try a different hospital? I have at least 7 hospitals (that I can think of) within 20 miles of my home. Some are better than others. Would going to another hospital, even if a bit further away, be a possibility?

Originally Posted by ThisWayOut

If it's a large-enough area, can you try a different hospital? I have at least 7 hospitals (that I can think of) within 20 miles of my home. Some are better than others. Would going to another hospital, even if a bit further away, be a possibility?

There is a hospital I like in a suburban area but the problem is that I don't drive and the bus doesn't go out there...neither would an ambulance or my family be willing to take me that far. So if I can afford a cab I've always tried to go there. They also have a psychiatric hospital connected to it that is the best with the most wonderful staff. I always hope that they'll have a bed for me when I need it, sadly sometimes they don't. If I won the powerball I would donate to them to expand the place.

[isurvived]

Thank you for sharing. I can relate to your struggle. I recently canceled a surgery the day before it was supposed to happen because I suddenly didn't trust the doctor. He was a him and he was tall and aloof, just like the man who abused me. I tried to explain to him when I called to cancel that I was having a PTSD trigger and needed time to deal with it. He wasn't sympathetic at all, even when I explained my abuse history. He just kept saying it was just a little surgery.

So I'm never going back to him and I choose not to feel guilty about it. I guess he made that easy enough for me.

Hope this story helps. My hope for you is that you always find a way to entrust yourself only to doctors you feel you can trust. I know life doesn't always make that easy, but it will still be my hope for you.

Take good care.

isurvived

[BlueEyez87]

You are not alone in these actions, I am the same way I refuse to see a male doctor and it is nothing against them personally but I always make sure that I have a female doctor. If that means I have to wait for another dr then so be it. The only place I'm a little bit more reassured is in the emergency room only because if I'm in that much pain then I will deal and there is always a female nurse in the room thankfully though I have only been to the er one time. Maybe we will be able to get over this one day after we have properly healed.