[eyesclosed]

In court yesterday for my divorce. I couldn't believe how focused I was on the improvement of my self-esteem after our separation from living together. She was still able to use my triggers against me but at a distance. I made sure my attorney had the marital settlement agreement which would leave her to have no reason for contacting me even though I didn't receive what could have been more money later in life. Just knowing this has been healing. To know the abuse is over is worth more than money. We had no children together. I have none at all after 2 marriages for a total of 24 yrs. Sometimes this gets me down.

[benzenering]

In my case, I have never truly healed. I divorced my abuser 21 years ago, and I am still very much afraid of him. I had two small children who were in danger and that helped to give me the courage to leave. I am better now through LOTS of counseling, but there is still so much more room for improvement. I hope you can find a little peace once this is truly over. My self esteem has truly suffered from the situation, but I have always tried to look ahead to there being better times.

[eyesclosed]

I understand it will take time to heal. She has done a lot of damage. Especially to my mother who she slowly turned against me. I lost my own family because of her. I think having kids with your abusive spouse doesn't let you truly detach right away. I'm glad you are getting better.

[benzenering]

Eyesclosed, I am sorry about your family abandoning you. Is there anyone who may have empathy for you, even just a little, that you could start building a relationship with? That may lead to some healing there. Small steps...

[eyesclosed]

There really is no one in my life who supports me except the few people here who have responded with kindness like you. The really sad part is in early march my mom and other family members tried too have me committed even though my therapist told them not too. When the therapist found out what they tried to do. They called the police on me hoping I would be upset and not cooperate with them, but it didn't work. The police contacted my therapist. I had to detach from my family because there is a good chance my ex-wife would have moved in to my house. This really had a negative affect on me.

[BLUEDOVE]

By God,what an experience! Unfortunately,mine was an
narcissist and managed to turn 4 kids against me,while
turning them into narcs too! So,my children are effectively
dead. I do wish you the best,to rise up through this.

[Curry]

I had an abusive mother and an abusive husband. My kids put all their fears and my ex's on to me. Now I have a boyfriend who searches for himself by going out with beautiful girls and to parties. He doesn't cheat, he relives the youth he didn't have. He is so nice and gentle but I am going to break up with him. I like the idea of learning to say "No," that l am just human too. The hard part is sitting with my want to hug someone because I didn't feel I got enough love to survive when I was little. When I feel down I am going to keep looking for love, for friendship and learn to act like I count and I can say "No," when someone hurts me.

[Fuzzybear]

[Unrigged64072835]

My second marriage was harsh. Physical, sexual, emotional, verbal abuse...it was a terrible 4 years.

Possible trigger:

And he chose to commit suicide rather than divorce me. I knew all his secrets and could've put him in a world of hurt. I just wanted him to let me go, and he wouldn't.

Still, I was the one to blame for all that, because he was so nice to other people.

I'm glad I'm not in that anymore, and I got help to help me manage the pain when it comes.

[eyesclosed]

Thank you all for your support. You are all I have.