>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>TRIGGERING>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>



>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>please be warned>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>




The most triggering flashback again, had this before ..... this time it was like being there all over...I dont know what is happening in my head....T said this WOULD happen gradually ....

My abuser was a pdoc.....and a hypnotist .... he would put my mum 'under' and then hypnotise me... but not every time ......

I know this sounds absurd, like a sick film or something, but I remember the night clothes I was wearing, in the 70's 'babydoll' sexy nightwear was in fashion, people my age will remember them.

I had 2. A yellow and pink one with the lacy pants (knickers) to go with them....I was 8/9/10..... why?

I am getting frustrated and shaky writing this, sorry, my head is going quicker than my hands....

All I remember was sitting on top of a man.... and his face was my dads, but I know it wasn't my dad....it WAS HIM PDOC.....

he messed With my head so much..... I was wearing the yellow one..... and he said to my mum who was right next to him that all dads like to sleep with their daughters......He made me well, I cant tell.....cant say it....not yet
....
there I said it

and he made me think it was my daddy ..... it would kill my dad to know that.....

you dont think ot was my dad do you?????

i just dont know any more........ please help me..... so confused

J. K. t??????????????????

im sorry for what happened, jinny

[Cyran0]

jin, I'm so sorry. And based on how you wrote that, I don't think it was your Dad. I, of course, can't know. Only you can. But that's my impression, that it was not your father but rather the man you say you already know molested you.

Again, I'm very sorry.

Cyran0

[RACEKA]

He probably made you think it was your Dad. He was sick. So sorry.

I had baby doll pajamas too!

[DePressMe]

jinnyann, I can't really say who it was...you are going to have to trust yourself...it sounds like you know it was not your dad. I am so sorry you have had to go through something so horrible. I feel for you....

[mtd]

jinnyann,

I can relate to feeling frustrated and even afraid over memories like these. It's been a big part of my story.

My best advice at this time though is to give yourself some space and time. The memories will take care of themselves if you don't force them. In time, as you are ready, you can face what you remember, a piece at a time. For me, I had to pace myself this way in order to make sure I stayed enough in my present, so my past wouldn't so dominate my every moment.

hope this helps.

be well,

mtd

[coralproper]

jinny, don't worry about it ......sorry you are suffering

[__zh]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
mtd said:

My best advice at this time though is to give yourself some space and time. The memories will take care of themselves if you don't force them. In time, as you are ready, you can face what you remember, a piece at a time. For me, I had to pace myself this way in order to make sure I stayed enough in my present, so my past wouldn't so dominate my every moment.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> amazingly powerful words there mtd. thank you for taking the time to share that as it is so hard to remember when caught up in the frightening moments of healing. or pacing and containment as therapist would say.....helps so much to know healing isn't instant or easy for anyone...we're all working on this in our own ways and sharing the similarities that may help one another.