some positivity ?

I guess the first step of getting through your past experiences is to talk about. so i congratulate all of you on that.
personally, i don't know how you do it.
I have issues thinking about it, let alone talking about it.
i hope you all get through it.
and fingers crossed i'll be as courageous as you lot one day.

xx

Kelly, just being here and trying to deal is a huge first step. Congratulations.

Are you in therapy?

Cyran0

yeah i am. but i don't actually say anything. i find it impossible to talk.
it's sort of like my mouth closes up and i physically can't open it. or i don't want to.. i don't know.

Kelly, what did you talk about your first session with your therapist? You had to have told her your life "story" in one form or another? I went through many years not being able to talk at all too. Is there anything you can allow yourself to "wish" (I always wanted my T to "tell me stories" and she always said she didn't know any but after many years when we were terminating I was better able to tell her about the stories I would have liked her to tell me and she had been thinking about some other kind than I was). Do you do any reading or have a hobby or something you like that you could share with your counsellor? Just starting somewhere "else" can help you get more comfortable so you can gradually think about other, harder things. I use to take books in with paragraphs I wanted my therapist to read (she wouldn't, demanded I tell her in my own words :-) but I also started writing her poems and sending her greeting cards :-) in other words, beat around the bush for a zillion years until I could get closer and closer to what was on my heart.

Kelly,

Welcome. You are not alone in your reaction. It's o.k. just to listen and read for a while. I have treated with many survivors who need to just do that for a while. Trust your instincts -- when you need to speak or share or open up, you will know.

You are not alone. You deserve to heal. Again, welcome.

mtd

Well.. the first meeting with her was including my mum. my T.. she's not a counsellor.. first meeting was with a social worker.. then referred onto a psychologist from there. mum explained the one part she knew about.. but i haven't really told her anything else.. i just.. can't.
she knows the basics from mum, but i, myself haven't really said 2 words to her.. i close up.

Well. i did it. i made my first post on the topic of my experience.. going into as much detail as i could cope with.
I'm physically shaking now.. is that normal ? :S

Kell If still abit ,,,shakey...........Keep Us up on your saying more than 2 words to T ...hehe.............And in YOUr Post ,,, Got something out ,,,Like a trial run for getting it out for T ,,,,.

((((((( Kell ))))))))

I don't know corky, saying out loud is quite different to typing it.
when it comes to saying it, you've got to physically have the energy and courage for it.. i dont think i'm there..
eugh.

thanks
xx

>> Funny Thing Kell,,,, We sometimes to need control,,,,,,one supporting factor of that is silence ,,,,, Like a game " I can not talk longer than you . "

.A good ice - breaker is ,,, Oh You have my file > <....I been looking every where for that ,,,

Then Kell ( take control ) ..........Ask T "Well since you have seen my file ,,,,,where do we go from here ? "...

Listen closely to what T says,,,,this should help your responce and in time You May share more ...Hugs Friend.