[Overcastbutclearing]

I have decided I am not strong enough nor do I possess enough energy to tell my story or go on with the t to deal with what happened to me.
My mind races with so many thoughts...and they are not good.
I don't feel safe anywhere anymore.
I am also thinking of taking a back seat here on pc.
I feel I have nothing to offer and I may go away for a long time.
It is my hope that anyone in the place I am in will not be so stupid and weak as me. But, I know my limits. And they definately have been pushed further then they should have been.
I am nothing more then a dirty, unloved and stupid girl that should be silenced forever!

[bipolar_bear]

(((((((((((((sj))))))))))))))))) You are not dirty, unloved or stupid. You are a victim and it was done to you not by you. I too recently felt all of the things you write about. Sometimes it gets to be too overwhelming to tell your story and you just need to give your mind some time to ready itself. It will come but it takes time. You will be strong enough when the time is right.

I still have some trouble feeling safe. My therapist is helping me feel safe again by self visualization (safe place), feeling safe in her office and helping me ground myself when I get too overwhelmed. I journal every day and have found this is a good way to express the feelings I have a hard time speaking about.. I hope you find this place again soon.

Please don't stop posting. We are here to support you the best we can. I hate to see you lose this too.I am here if you ever need someone to talk to. Please take care of yourself.

[JustBen]

I really hope you don't decide to leave the forums. I think you've helped a lot of people, and that you have a lot to offer.

My dear special one,

Yes maybe it is why you are so overwhelmed. You have been pushed over your limit. You are tired, exausted.

What you need to do my dear special friend is to give a break to your heart and soul. You are hurting way too much right now and you can't feel any positive, any love, any guidance, any caring.

I will not go on the subjet of why you are hurting because I know that one much too well too and it is very hard to shut down the cry of pain in your inner self.

What your heart and soul need right now is caring, kindness, love. Go get it even if you need to block the cry in you for now. Take a break. I don't know if you are close to someone in your real life or not but please remember that sometime being close doesn't mean you have to say everything that is in your heart but only to feel the warm of a smile, the warm of a HI, the warm of eye contact, the warm of people online.

I think you should give yourself a break and block the pain for a while. Let yourself breath.

I care for you very much and I'm sending you all my kindness.

Many hugs dear one!
Time0

Susan, you're at a crossroad in your life. You choose which way the rest of your life is going to turn.
I don't know what I can do or say to make you understand that things WILL get better.
You have to choose that for yourself, though.
I feel like I keep reaching out for you but you keep slipping away.
I don't want you to be silenced forever. I know that you're not stupid and I know you're not a dirty girl. And I absolutely know that you ARE loved.
I come here everyday and I look forward to talking to you and seeing how you're doing. I pray for and think of you when I'm going through my daily existance.
I'm pretty sure that's love.
You're only as weak as you tell yourself you are.
Go tonight and do what needs to be done! I think you'll surprise yourself.
You have to try really hard even though you think you can't do it.
If you get there and you freeze up-then that's fine. Your therapist will work with you with that.
PLease, just go and try.
You can sooooo do this, Suz.
I'm sending out some serious positive energies of love and stregnth to you.

I'm here if you need me.
It's going to be okay. You're going to be fine and you'll get through this.
Okay? (((((((((((((((((Susan))))))))))))))))))

[BlueFaith]

(((((((((((((((sj0401))))))))))))))))))
I think you greatly benefit this site. I'm sorry you are going through this. I hope you decide to stay.

[wisewoman]

Peace my friend, hang in there.