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#1
Jul 04, 2008, 09:26 PM
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that you had been able to love me.... I wanted your love more.. that anything in the world.... anniversery dates are difficult for me Dad..your passing.... I 'see' you as the very old man that you were when you passed... your heart full of regret.. for the manner in which you lived... and today... after all these years.. my heart full of sorrow.. for the little boy... that you once were... the little boy.. that suffered so very, very much...I cry.. for that little boy... mourn.. what you, yourself suffered..
Yes.. by a mircle of God... a person... "taught" me "love".. this past week.... I have never in my lifetime... felt... that... blessing... I feel God's love... yes... though I have never felt "people" love.. and... I consider myself.. so very blessed that I got to feel this before my own passing... something.. that you my Dad.. never felt.. in your own lifetime...so very, vert sad.. I thought.. myself to be "unloveable"... put on this Earth by God.. loved by God.. but not by mankind... And.. I am so very blessed.. to know.. that I am loveable....and loved.. The feeling of such incredible... warmth... that love brings.. I wish.. wish.. I could have shared it with you.. so that your heart.. would have healed before you passed... I struggle this weekend....anxiety ridden... all week.... yet.. I have changed over this past year... and.. am ok... This.. past week Dad.. changed.. all the pain.. that you inflicted on me...perhaps... the ever present nightmares.. will ease... And.. this is the very first time in my lifetime... I have ever.. spoken to you.. as my Dad... So... forgiveness.. all around.. for you.. for me... my heart.. has healed... |
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#2
Jul 04, 2008, 09:33 PM
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(((freewill)))))))))))))))))))))
you are a amazing person so hard to get threw the dates you've done well I am proud of you its a amazing letter forgivness......... awwww muffy |
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#3
Jul 05, 2008, 06:15 PM
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wow (((((freewill))))) that is a powerful letter... you are as muffy said an amazing woman... thank you for sharing that with me... lyn
__________________
lyn one could do worse then be a swinger of birches. ~robert frost~
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#4
Jul 06, 2008, 12:36 AM
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(((((((( Freewill ))))))))))
That is a wonderful letter. Thanks for sharing it with us. It is so very hard to have empathy for someone who has hurt you, yet when you can shift your perspective and let go of your pain, then you can heal. Please give yourself permission to forgive, and to have empathy, and to let go. Congratulate yourself for having the strength to take this step towards your own recovery. You are entitled to all of your feelings, the positive ones too.
__________________
“We should always pray for help, but we should always listen for inspiration and impression to proceed in ways different from those we may have thought of.” – John H. Groberg 
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