[Butterfly_Faerie]

Rape Recovery Tips From Other Survivors

Carry a small book of quotes or scriptures in your purse or backpack. Anytime you have a few minutes of waiting (in the line of the grocery store or drive through, at a doctor's office, picking up the kids from school) take a peek in the book.

Lie on a blanket and watch the clouds float by. Imagine your troubles floating away with them for a few minutes.
Don't get caught up in being perfect. Stay caught up in finding you.

Sometimes we can't take 5 minutes but we can take 1 minute. Use it as a dedication to ourselves. As long as we take even 30 seconds it can be enough to help recharge our batteries.

Take a walk in your yard barefoot and feet the grass crunch between your toes as you walk from your car to your house. Use this moment as a way of connecting with your inner child.

Want to take a trip or try something new? Look at what it would really take to accomplish this. Sometimes looking at a problem in a new way is all we need to get us over the hurdle.

Take a walk in the rain and notice how different it is from taking the same walk on a sunny day.

Do something different. Rent a bicycle or strap on a pair of roller blades or skates. Sure it's for kids but what's wrong with being a kid at heart?

Listen to a book on tape.

Watch a sunset or sunrise.

Learn a new language by asking your child to teach you their "lingo".

Go to a mall or park and people watch.

Sing your heart out on bad and good days! No one has to hear you. That's what cars and showers are for!

Do something you've always wanted to do, but haven't gotten gotten around to yet. There's no better time like now.

Get physical! Taking a walk is probably the easiest and cheapest one. While you are out make an effort to notice your surroundings.

Run, climb, or dance. These things require more energy than walking and are good stress relievers.

Take time to be kind to yourself. It takes time to overcome a tragedy. Do not feel as though you must be healed NOW! Give yourself time.

Keep a journal. This is a wonderful way, not only to help process your thoughts but when you look back. You can see patterns that need to be changed. It can also show you how much healing you have done.

If you have a flashback. Hold on to something. Maybe a table or even a friend. Take a deep breath, exhale slowly. Focus on what is going on around you that you can see and touch. Keep doing this until you feel better.

Flashbacks are caused by triggers. Identifying those triggers and eliminating the ones you can will help keep your flashback from recurring as often. Keeping a flashback diary can really help.

Nightmare duty can be assigned to another person. If you have a nightmare, you know the ones that leave you unsure where you are or who you are with, you can assign someone else in the household to turn on all the lights maybe some calming music, and do whatever else you need done to make you feel safe.

You can try re-directing your dreams. When you lie down to go to sleep tell yourself that if you experience a nightmare you are going to turn it around. It takes a lot of work, but several people have told me it works for them.

If you feel like you are more secure with a stuffed animal go ahead! Is it really going to matter to anyone else if you have a teddy bear on your bed? It is you who needs to heal. If it helps you feel better to do this then do it. If you are afraid to go into a store and buy one for yourself then tell yourself it is part of taking care of that scared part inside of you. Because that is exactly what you are doing.

Support. Support. Support.Find some. If you do not have anyone to sort your feelings out with or if you want to do it without face to face contact there is an online email support group. We are not professionals. We have simply been there too. Email me if you need the information on this group.

Cry or scream into a towel or pillow.

You have an opportunity to do something new. You may experience anger and deep frustration. THIS IS NORMAL. I have known of people taking voice lessons, learn to play a musical instrument, begin karate or any number of things. What matters is that it gives you time to heal and use some of your anger.

Take 5. Take 5 minutes everyday and just be nice to yourself. You may be thinking how can I do that??? It isn't so difficult. Next time you are in stalled traffic pop in a soothing tape (one that you use especially for times like these.) Set the alarm so you get up 5 minutes early and watch the sun rise. Right before going to bed take 5 minutes and make a determined effort to set them aside for "you" time. It's not as hard as you might think.

Take soothing warm baths scented with your favorite. This need not be expensive but can really take the pressures away. While you are doing this listen to some soft relaxing music.

Do you like hot tea? Or flavored hot chocolate or coffee? Sit down and fix yourself a cup. Sip it slowly. Take your time. Enjoy.

When you feel anxiety climbing to the uppermost limit, stop what you are doing. Look around you. If you do not feel safe go to a safe place immediately. When you are safe try to concentrate on breathing out very slowly. Do this several times until you feel better. Resist the urge to rush. Just concentrate on breathing out slowly and relaxing.

When you get angry don't be afraid of it. Rip an old newspaper to shreds. Stomp all over a pillow. Run in place. Throw safe objects that aren't breakable into other safe spaces, stomp your feet, yell, scream into your pillow. Do whatever it takes to get the anger out. Don't hold it in.

Remember those wonderfully fun looking puddles you always wanted to splash in as a child? Well, why not now? It's a great stress breaker!

Is it winter and you have snow in the yard? Build a snowperson. It'll be fun, and takes lots of energy. Best done by recruiting neighborhood kids to help. (Be careful, the woman suggesting this also advised of the possibility of snowball fights.)

Go to a used book store and prowl around until you find a book you like. They may be re-runs but it will be "new to you" and an inexpensive treat.

Seen a good movie lately? They can often be borrowed from your local library.

Window shop at home or on the internet. Who says you can't have a good time without going broke anyway?

Surf a section of the internet where you've never gone before. Why not check out jokes, zoos, or crafts on one of the search engines.

How about a foot massage? Grab your favorite lotion and slowly caress your feet, taking your time and relaxing as you go.

Find a really good friend who care's to talk to and go places with.

Go out to a movie. If you don't have anyone to go with--go anyway. It can be a relaxing afternoon for you!

Treat yourself to a manicure or go to a salon to just have your hair styled. It's a great pick-me-up!

<font color=red>~</font color=red><font color=blue>S</font color=blue><font color=green>u</font color=green><font color=blue>n</font color=blue><font color=green>d</font color=green><font color=blue>a</font color=blue><font color=green>n</font color=green><font color=blue>c</font color=blue><font color=green>e</font color=green><font color=red>~</font color=red>

<font color=blue>"Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze yourself to determine whether it is justified. If it is, correct yourself. Otherwise, go on about your business."</font color=blue>

<font color=black>Norman Vincent Peale</font color=black>

[shakes]

Sundance,
Thank you for those tips! I wrote a few of those down and will use them.

Jessica

<font color=blue> You are in this snowglobe. It is encovered in glass and secure. But one day someone comes and shakes the globe and the pieces go flying everywhere. Now they will eventually settle but they won't be the way they were before and they can never be that way again. </font color=blue>

[gloria]

Thank you, as always, great contribution.

gab

[Butterfly_Faerie]

You are welcome ladies. I can't help but post when I See things like this , expect many more from me...

<font color=red>~</font color=red><font color=blue>S</font color=blue><font color=green>u</font color=green><font color=blue>n</font color=blue><font color=green>d</font color=green><font color=blue>a</font color=blue><font color=green>n</font color=green><font color=blue>c</font color=blue><font color=green>e</font color=green><font color=red>~</font color=red>

<font color=blue>"Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze yourself to determine whether it is justified. If it is, correct yourself. Otherwise, go on about your business."</font color=blue>

<font color=black>Norman Vincent Peale</font color=black>

Do you recall where this list came from? How wierd is it as a rape recovery tip to get a pedicure? You've got to be pretty far along in your recovery to use that tip! It's such an odd list. I see that survivors put it together - obviously in various stages of recovery. I think the site where it originated from might find it useful to sort things out by "good day/bad day"...you know? If I was ra*ed last week, I'm thinking a pedicure is pretty far down on my list. The screaming into a pillow on the other hand, might come in very handy! So might calling a crisis center, etc.

Thank you Sundance for your all your efforts!

Em

[Butterfly_Faerie]

I think the point of the pedicure is to do something nice to your self if you are going through a rough time, treating yourself, getting your self doing something.

I'll see if I can find the link again.

Yeah that isn't my list, I came across it and found some of it good. Didn't notice the pedicure part,but aparently this is a list from survivors of abuse or rape I believe.

It was an abuse website.

<font color=red>~</font color=red><font color=blue>S</font color=blue><font color=green>u</font color=green><font color=blue>n</font color=blue><font color=green>d</font color=green><font color=blue>a</font color=blue><font color=green>n</font color=green><font color=blue>c</font color=blue><font color=green>e</font color=green><font color=red>~</font color=red>

<font color=blue>"Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze yourself to determine whether it is justified. If it is, correct yourself. Otherwise, go on about your business."</font color=blue>

<font color=black>Norman Vincent Peale</font color=black>

[Butterfly_Faerie]

Emily, can't find the link, it's probabaly on my boyfriends computer, i'll get back to you.

<font color=red>~</font color=red><font color=blue>S</font color=blue><font color=green>u</font color=green><font color=blue>n</font color=blue><font color=green>d</font color=green><font color=blue>a</font color=blue><font color=green>n</font color=green><font color=blue>c</font color=blue><font color=green>e</font color=green><font color=red>~</font color=red>

<font color=blue>"Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze yourself to determine whether it is justified. If it is, correct yourself. Otherwise, go on about your business."</font color=blue>

<font color=black>Norman Vincent Peale</font color=black>

[Butterfly_Faerie]

Here is the website.

The website is called Hope For Healing and is for survivors..

Like I said these are tips from people who have been hurt like me and alot of you guys, they did what helped them with recovery...

<A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.hopeforhealing.org/tips.html>http://www.hopeforhealing.org/tips.html</A>

<font color=red>~</font color=red><font color=blue>S</font color=blue><font color=green>u</font color=green><font color=blue>n</font color=blue><font color=green>d</font color=green><font color=blue>a</font color=blue><font color=green>n</font color=green><font color=blue>c</font color=blue><font color=green>e</font color=green><font color=red>~</font color=red>

<font color=blue>"Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze yourself to determine whether it is justified. If it is, correct yourself. Otherwise, go on about your business."</font color=blue>

<font color=black>Norman Vincent Peale</font color=black>

[Butterfly_Faerie]

*bump*