Rape

How do you deal with being violated so brutally? I can't even leave the house anymore. I have alienated everyone close to me and now i'm left with no one. Is there an answer to the pain of rape?

((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ~ ~ ((((((( HUGS ))))))))

Having been there myself.... I have to say that time and inner healing for your self will be your best friend in this situation. And once you can get past not trusting another living soul again, then maybe you can work on trusting the loved ones that have not let you down.

What can I do for YOU right now that would help to ease your pain and fear.... that which comes from the abuse of another, from a person that took some thing that was not theirs to have.

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

YOU are SAFE here

So sorry to hear this Tanya. Is there maybe a support group/counselling in your area. You shouldn't go through this all on your own. Please, do take care of yourself.

Thank you for replying so quickly. I am so confused about everything! I quit my job, because it became too much and now i have too much time to think about the pain and hurt. Is it possible to ever forget something like this? I lost all hope. I was seeing a therapist, but I just can't bring myself to tell him about it.

I'm so sorry. Is there not a friend who could maybe be there for you? Please, do try to reach out.... You've been through so much already, don't go through this ordeal on your own. Your T might help to draw you out.

Also, just wanted to say that you were very brave to come here and post about it. Wish you lots of strength and healing. Do take care.

You must tell your T about this awful experience that you have been made to suffer.... for he cannot help you through it if he does not know of the problem or of the hold it has over you and your life (or lack of life).

And YES.... it time you will be able to forget some if not most of this experience, but I cannot tell you how long that will be, for everyone heals at a different rate.

If I may ask? - what is your biggest fear right now? - and how does it control YOU?


LoVe,
Rhapsody - ((( hugs )))

My biggest fear is rejection. I'm so afraid that people will judge me for what happened and see me differently. I am in a long term relationship and I can't even tell my partner. I already know what he will say. And he would be right, it was my own stupid mistake.

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TanyaGrave said:
My biggest fear is rejection. I'm so afraid that people will judge me for what happened and see me differently. I am in a long term relationship and I can't even tell my partner. I already know what he will say. And he would be right, it was my own stupid mistake.

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NO Sweety, no matter what you might have done on that particular day that this awful event took place it was not you fault..... no one and I mean no one has the right to take a woman's most precious GIFT from her without her permission.
If I may ask? - Were you already with the b/f when the attack took place, or did it happen before you meet him and now you are afraid of how he will react?

FYI.... most of the things we FEAR never happen and yet we live our life in FEAR.

LoVe,
Rhapsody - ((( hugs )))

I was already with him when it happened. We have been dating for 7 years. the incident happened in May this year. It involved three police officers. But I should not have been there, it really was a stupid mistake and I learned a hard lesson.

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TanyaGrave said:
I was already with him when it happened. We have been dating for 7 years. the incident happened in May this year. It involved three police officers. But I should not have been there, it really was a stupid mistake and I learned a hard lesson.

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Oh Sweety - please tell him right away..... he will be so hurt that you did not TRUST him enough to let him help you through this awful nightmare. He would want to be there for YOU.... His LoVe.

BTW - if you want to talk more specific about the ordeal, as to make room for healing, you may PM with what ever you need to say concerning the matter. (I offer hugs & support).

LoVe,
Rhapsody - ((( hugs )))

Those who would judge you would do so no matter what you say or do in any case.... speak out to those who do care, and receive the help you need. No one is above the law...even though the blue code is a tough one to crack.

When rape victims are seen in hospital ER's and physicians offices they are given a number for the local raper crisis services. Hospitals automatically call the rape crisis services so that the victims dont have to go through the exam process alone and or so they have a counselor to talk to right away. So sometimes I automatically had someone to help me get through the aftereffects by way of a crisis center. Other times I had a mental health therapist so I talked with them, I also found the Courage to heal text and workbook a great help. No matter what I was feeling and experiencing from being raped was in those books to tell me how to take care of mself and get through it.

<font color="purple"> Just wanted to send you my thoughts and prayers as someone who understands and has gone thru it too.... </font>

Rhapsody is right, your partner will feel hurt if you can trust him. I sure that in seven years he must have proven to you that he really love's you and want to be there for you....let ther be no secrets between the two of you.
((((Tanya))))

just putting trigger here so it doesn't upset folks
Love
Angie

Thanks Angie.... I forget sometimes...

no problem dearheart

I think I just proved my point!

Hello. I hope things ar better for you at this time. First of all, I dont really feel that anyone here hopefully is going to judge you in the wrong manner. I sinceraly feel that RAPE and Sexual assault is a VIOLATION and CRIMINAL. It takes a lot from a woman that has been raped, and sometimes it is very hard to recover from rape without professional help which I strongly feel is always needed after someone has been raped. I am going to lesve you the rape crisis hotline to call if you would like to call and talk to someone in person, and I am also going to leave you the number for a mental health hotlne to call if you ned someone to talk to about hoew you feel 1-800-273-TALK. I would strongly suggest that youtell your therapist what happened since you may be struggling with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Depression after the Rape. There are medicaitons and therapies that can help youwith dealing with the rape more effectively, and you therapist can hopefully help you with going on with your life, to a better degree. There are also support groups as well that you may want to attend to get some needed support from others that understand NAMI and DBSA are just 2 that are probably in your area, and there may be others as well you will have to consult your resources in your area to see what is available. The local newspaper is a good place tostart you generally can find most newspapers on the internet at this time. I hope you at least try to call someone in your safe and soare time and get the courage to tell your therapist I feel that keeping the secret that you were rped is not a good idea, you were a victim, and you need to try to get the best help that you can get for yourself, and UNFORTUNATELY unless you tell the therapist what happened you are not going to get the treatment that you need and deserve to move on with your life. I hope the best for you email anytime. Take care Sincerely soidhonia

I became severely depressed from my trauma, alot of anxiety afterwards as well. I became very weary of who was around me. Always watching my back when I walked, always looking over my shoulder afraid someone would come up and jump out at me.

It took me yrs to recover, and after I did I created survivor sites, one a message board and another website for information to help others. I couldn't do that until I recovered and it took me 8 long yrs to do that.

EDIT:

I think its very VERY important that you tell your T. My rape even though I didn't know it was rape at the time was with my bf when I was younger, and he was abusive.

What I had to do in order to talk about it was I wrote it down on a piece of paper about the the abuse and the rape and I let my pdoc read it, and she started off talking to me, it became much easier then even though whenever I had to talk about the assaults etc I would talk really fast in order to be rid of it.

Have you gotten into any type of therapy at all? I have only read your first post and not sure if you wrote more as I didn't scroll down.

Feel free to pm me if you'd like to chat, hang in there.

Thank you sundance, I must say that this is an old post that someone dug up, but I still struggle. I have since been to see a wonderful therapist (a different one) and told him everything... although I still dance around the issue in my sessions. Only time will tell if I will be ok in the end...