[my3sns]

I am currently in therapy and my counselor thinks that its necessary to talk about the details of the abuse , but i am not so sure . I really dont want to go any further than saying i was molested and letting her use her imagination as to what happened. Yet i also trust this lady tremendously and will do what i can to talk about the things that happened . I have been with my therapist for 3 yrs now.

[bchlyn]

ok... well i completely understand where you are with not wanting to talk about the abuse... i often get to that place... but i have found that my t is right that i need to talk about it to process the information... as a matter of fact there is something in the way the brain processes information that makes saying it out loud very important... and takes the power out of the memory... what i have found helpful for me is that i write it in my journal and then let my t read it... then it is easier for me to talk about... he use to have me read it to him first... until he figured out that i was editing my work so to speak... anyway i want to encourage you to work on this with your t and find away to begin to tell your t or another safe person ... i know how hard it is... take gentle care... lyn

[chaotic13]

my3sns,

I continue to struggle with this issue too. My T has suggested that it would be best if I verbally tell her all the details of what happen. However, she has also told me that if I don't want to do this, I don't have to. Healing can occur without a complete confession. So far, I have avoided talking directly about the details. At one point last session she introduced me to EMDR and walked me though an exercise. During this session I withheld telling her what I was visualizing. My T seemed to want to know what I was experiencing so she could guide the activity better, but didn't push me. We did the exercise without me telling her what my triggering event actually was. Later that night I was really re-traumatized and having a lot of nightmares. In addition to experiencing this I started thinking that the treatment wasn't working because I didn't engage fully and confess all. I don't know what was worse the flashbacks or the guilty I was feeling for deliberately shutting out my T when she was so willing to sit an listen.

At this point I know I didn't do anything wrong, I just wasn't ready. Also I know that telling my T the details isn't about making her feel like she is in-the-loop, giving juicy gossip to chat about with her friends, or about me doing something she wants me to do. It should be about me and if I think I need to tell the story to someone else or not.

[Kiya]

Also, you don't want to be retraumatized in the reliving of the memories. There's a balance to when the right time is.

[bchlyn]

sometimes i wish my t would push things along faster... but i know that when i am really processing the memories... if i jump ahead to quick... avoid some of the memories... they are the ones that come back and feel like they are re abusing me... so i think it's important to move slowly... my abuse happened over many years... so how can i expect to heal overnight... as much as i really want this done... i know that if i open too many boxes i couldn't handle it... take gentle care...lyn

[chaotic13]

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if i jump ahead to quick... avoid some of the memories... they are the ones that come back and feel like they are re abusing me

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Damn is this the truth or what! So many times have I thought to myself... I don't need to go there, or mention that, or risk opening dialog on that topic. Only then to have it smack me in the face and haunt me until I deal with it one way or another.

[bchlyn]

yeah i am there now...lyn