I just got it and it hurts alot

I just understood emotionally that my mom really meant to kill us the time she forced bleach down my sisters throat while I had to wait for my turn. Somone had called the cops on her and they came before she got me. She was mad because we had eaten. She wanted to kill us. I have known that in a way forever but now I really really feel it. Over powering sadness what would that be called? I just feel it so strong. I have been for the last 4 or 5 days but tonight I just got slammed. NOw my legs hurt too. Another reminder of things she did to me or allowed to be done to me. Oh man this sucks. How are u supposed to feel when this happens?

I tried to google this for an answer. How to feel when your mom tries or wants to kill you. And there were no good answers.

Safe hugs if ok..

I'm sorry.

But what you feel is right. There are no "good" or "bad" answers - because what you feel is ok, it is what you feel and you can't change that.

And none of us here is going to judge you for feeling what you feel.

Try to stay safe..

((((((((((((((((((((MINIME))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Realizing something, maybe that you've known all along really deep inside, is so painful. It's like a slap in the face x 1000, specially when it's to do with someone who should have protected you as a child ...... i hear you sweetie ..... and i understand ....... let me hold your hand for a while ..know you are not alone, the hurt WILL pass. A s with many things, time is a factor here .... time will heal. Love you, Jinny xoxoxoxoxox

yeah - i sit with you to k.
that's a lot to take in cuz you wanna think theys protectin ya and then u see tehy not and that no make no sences. i am glad you alive and you made it. your strong and you made it and you'll get thru this too k. it takes a lot but you get thru cuz you already lived. and this time we's with ya.
us

> How are u supposed to feel when this happens?

Terrified.

It was then. This is now. I think you will feel terrified for a while. I know I still am afraid.

its hard. its ok to feel the way you do
i wont say i understand...
maybe just a little bit
my father was convicted for attempted murder on me among other things
its gonna hurt for awhile... atleast now you can start to process it and move on eventually

Hi Minime,

I don't post often but after reading your post I had to say I can relate to it. My mother(if you call her that) was my abuser. Is your mom still alive?

Mine is, but I stopped contact with her years ago. I am still scared of her showing up at my door. She has threatened to abduct my kids and to kill me. Are you therapy? I have a wonderful therapist who is using EMDR which is helping.

But I think having the one who is suppose to love you, be your soft place, effects someone forever. My T is trying to get me to the point of being proud of who I am in spike of everything happening to me. It did have an effect on me, but according to him not all of the effects were negative.

It is hard, email me if you want to talk. It is so hard for a lot of people to comprehend a mother can be an abuser, when it fact according to statistics, there are more mom's than dad's who abuse children. It is really sad.

I am back now. I had to lay low and cry alot. I appreciate all the responses and support. You guys are a ray of sunshine. I decided that i will no longer feel sorry for my mom. I will no longer talk to her or even look at her,.Its not like she ever calls me or remembers my birthday anyway. she has not called in on her own in over 14 years. She is very ill and an alcoholic. She was dx with schizophrenia at age 16 or so. She is in and out of jail for stealing. She has done so many mean things to me. Even as an adult. I feel stronger just sad.

I've read about this sort of crime in the media. You see it on TV as well, but it never seems to stop amazing me how some folks can do things to other people, let alone their own children. I'm so very sorry for what has happened to you. Please take solace in others' messages here at this Web site. pray for you.

its ok to feel sad.. sometimes we need to be sad for a bit
glad you feel stronger though
sometimes people are not worth our time and trouble even if they are our family sometimes or even parents..