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#1
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..... but victim of bullies
.......victim of narcissistic mother ......heartless father ........ heartless work colleagues ........of own stupidity ...........no self esteem .........no confidence ...........histrionic, borderline, ptsd, anxiety, depression, DID, all stemmed from childhood sexual, emotional and sometimes physical abuse ....... yes it's so easy to say the past is the past, get over it, look o the future, only YOU can get better by not letting the past win ...... NOT SO EASY SOMETIMES ....... i want to scream,cry get hysterical today ....IT'S HOW I FEEL ....... i want to kill that perverted selfish, dirty bastard that ruined my life and every other damned paedophile on this planet ..... please please dont tell me i need to forgive to get over it ..... i will never forgive him .... i can forgive the bullies because i put myself in a poition to be bullied by not sticking up for myself ...... i am having a bad day..... i'm sorry ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
#2
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((((((((((Jinny)))))))))
Scream all you want today.. maybe that's part of 'not letting the past win', by acknowledging that it happened and that it hurt.. so that someday you can be a little more ok with what happened. I doubt it's all being strong, and botling it up, and getting on and all that anyway. Just go some place quiet and deserted if you can and scream. ![]() ![]() ![]()
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Also known as Blueangel by Blue, hence the avatar |
#3
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((((((jinnyann))))))
I'm sorry you are having a bad day. You are not stupid. You survived.......keep surviving. You are doing it. ktgirl ![]() |
#4
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some days i can e happy .... some days i canbe sad, some days i can cope, today i don't know what i can do .....
somedays i feel guilty for the people who are terminally ill, who love life, who want more than anything to live, survive, be happy ..... because some days i dont want to .... but i have kids, i gave them life and they are doing so well and i need to be here for them ..... it's a living hell some days ... to be thisweak, selfish and pathetic ...... ty for your support, i dont deserve you, my friends here ..... i sih i could just disappear and my kids would still be happy and live their lives, do well, love, live ...... i want to forget today and all these feelings i have inside .... j/t/k i just dont know who i am, i cant find me, i've never known me ..... i dont know which mood is me, vent over ![]() |
#5
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</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
jinnyann said: somedays i feel guilty for the people who are terminally ill, who love life, who want more than anything to live, survive, be happy ..... because some days i dont want to .... but i have kids, i gave them life and they are doing so well and i need to be here for them ..... it's a living hell some days ... to be thisweak, selfish and pathetic ...... ty for your support, i dont deserve you, my friends here ..... i sih i could just disappear and my kids would still be happy and live their lives, do well, love, live ...... </div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> I read this and was shocked because I feel EXACTLY the same. Every word. I'm so sorry you feel this way. It is truly horrible to go through life with such a burden. I hope you find a few moments of peace today. ![]() ![]() kt |
#6
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((((((((((((jinnyann))))))))))
i hope you can find peace today. i am looking for some too. lost
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love yourself first, the rest will follow |
#7
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I'm sorry you are hurting so bad.
![]() ![]() I wish I could make it better for you. |
#8
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#9
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(((((((((((((( jinny ))))))))))))))))
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