She called

Some of you knows that a little while ago I have left behind me my mother and sibblings because they were abusing me too much to a point I couldn't take it anymore. For a reason or another I can't get angry and I can't cope with people who do get angry. But I do understand that sometime people gets angry as it is a natural feeling, it's just a feeling that I have blocked in me. Also I can't hurt people as I know what it is to hurt so really, I have no deffence. So I had no choice but to walked out of their life.

My sister called me today. She got a hold of my phone number. She hurt me again and when she hung up I had a panick attack. I haven't gotten a panick attack for over a year. She just triggered me. I have to say that she is really cruel and she doesn't care.

Tomorrow I am changing my phone number again. And I really hope this time hubby will not give it to anyone but our children. I think he doesn't understand why. I wish he did.

Thank you for reading this!
Take all good care!
nightdream

hang in there nightdream, we're here for ya
(((((((((safe hugs))))))))))))

(((((((((((((((((( nightdream )))))))))))))))))))))))

i'm SO sorry that, after you went to great lengths to protect self, you were triggered and reinjured. it's just not right

Good on you to pick up where you left off with safety and start over again. you deserve to be safe and to try to enjoy life.

love,

kd

Awww ((((((((((((nightdream)))))))))))) I'm so sorry that happened. I wish you luck in regaining your confidence and security.

It is so hard to know that you have to put distance and time between yourself and your family.

Sounds like the abuse was always there. Maybe your siblings are feeling the effects too, thou they don't realize it is mental abuse.

Could you get your sister to attend therapy with you? Maybe one family member at a time in therapy with you will help. I think it is worth a try. It can change the future of your family, thou it takes time.

I hope you consider it. It would be so great to have a healthy family interacting with you and your family.

Wish you the Best at this if you decide to do it. It takes a lot of understanding and love.

Colors

((((((((((nightdream)))))))))) sorry you are going through this.

I have called and changed my phone number yesterday. I know it is difficult for some of you to understand all of this, I have been living in this abused for a very long time and I can't do it anymore. I can't turn back. I know myself, I have no deffense and they will kill me. Not with their bare hands but mentally and emotionaly they will. I am a very patient person and I will go a long way before taking any important decision like this one. I will try and try before giving up. I did try with my mother and sibbling. I am not trying to find excuses for myself but trying to stop the guiltiness inside me.

My husband do not support me with my decision even though he know how much they did hurt me. He says familly is familly and we don't turn our back on it. I guess not, but I did.

Thank you!
nightdream

Oh nightdream! (((((((((nightdream))))))))))) Good for you for changing number so quickly!!

Family is not family!! Just because some people may share genetics with you does not make them your family. Nobody deserves to live with abuse ever. You survived years of this abuse and have now escaped after much internal struggle. Nothing says you have to keep contact with them.

I disagree with your husband. I wish I knew offhand of a book or handout for him to read about the lasting effects of abuse. He says he knows how much they hurt you but then goes on to say family trumps an abusive past? F* that!!!!!!

That is not supportive. Let your husband know this is NOT negotiable for you at all. It took tremendous courage to make the break you made earlier this year. I'm so proud you did!! Now your husband needs to continue supporting your safety.

Genetics and surnames do not a family make!!!

My continued hope for your safety and healing nightdream.

p.s. this is not difficult for me to understand as an abusive ex in my past left me with that fear of the next knock on the door or ring of the phone

(((((((((((((((((((((((((nightdream)))))))))))))))))))))))))

Love you,
Fuzzy

Thank you for your support and understanding.

Thank you so very much!
hugs!
nightdream

I called the phone company again today to put a second line. I don't know how to explain why I did this. So complicated.

I don't know how to say this. Hubby was frustrated, depressed, giving me the silent treatment until I felt guilty. So now we have 2 phone line, one for me and one for him. I will not answer his phone as he said he will give his phone number to who wants it. I will pay a bit more for 2 lines but I guess, at least, this small part is settle. I hope anyway.

Thank you for reading this!
Hugs!
nightdream

If it makes you feel more secure nightdream, it is worth it. it sounds a good idea to me, having two phone lines. I hope you get the benefit you want from it.

Thank you sweetheart!

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Silver_Queen}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

nightdream

Hi Dream,

One of these days when you've got some time, we should talk in chat. We have some things in common. But the reason I posted is you can get a call blocker on your phone and have certain phone numbers blocked so that they can't call you. I'm sorry if someone else already suggested this, I didn't have time to read all the posts. I don't think that the call blocker costs more than 2 or 3 dollars a month. Might be worth checking into?

Hugs,
Greg

Thank you Greg for the suggestion. I didn't think about that one.

I knew that since one of my sister got a hold of my phone number, I was gone. She would give it to my other sister, my mother, my 5 brothers. I just panic and changed the whole thing. I'm still dealing with my "going away from them".

Thank you {{{{{{{{{{{{Greg}}}}}}}}}}}}

nightdream

Greg's post reminded me of something too!

When I lived in Virginia, they had something (I totally forget the name right now) that was like call blocking, but it also had a wonderful feature! If someone comes up Anonymous or Blocked Number or whatever, they have to leave a message saying who they are OR they can't get through. Even if they got your number, you could still not talk to them.

Call intercept! That's what it's called!

Call your phone company and explain your problem. (That you are being harassed and you want some kind of "defense" system.) They should be able to help you...they deal with this all the time.

(((((((((((((Nightdream)))))))))))))

Just getting caught up here and saw your situation. I wanted you to know how much I feel for you and know that you aren't alone.

Stay as strong as you have been sweetie. I am so proud of you.

I have read your second reply, and I am totaly with you on going forward, and having a future of your own. Mental happiness is important to you and your own family at this point. To make a good marriage and bring your children up to a happier future.

You are the strong one, the one who will make it. Set your goals in life and keep them.

Wishing you all the best.

Colors

My sincere "Thank you" to all of you !

I appreciate you all so much!

Hugs!
nightdream