[Rand.]

As the title says. I've been trying medications for 2 years now and nothing has taken even the edge off. Antidepressants actually seem to make me worse. This last one (Invega) was hopeful. For about a couple days to a week I felt better, more talkative, more motivation. So they upped the dose and then nothing. It's never going to end is it?

Also wondering, when should one go inpatient?

[gayleggg]

I went inpatient when the thoughts of suicide became overwhelming. They were able to change my meds while I was in the hospital so they could monitor how I reacted to them. This was back in early September and I'm feeling good now after a very long period of depression. I, too, am med resistant but so far Fetzima and Saphris are keeping me stable. I hope they find something to help you soon.

[Fuzzybear]

no words of wisdom but I'm here with you

[KristenRenee]

Hi. I totally understand how you feel. I don' feel like I am on the right medications either. I am on Cymbalta 30mg in morning and Geodon 20mg 3xs a day. I also have a difficult Psychiatrist. He doesn't want to seem to adjust my medications. I know everyone has told me to find a new one, but I have Medicare/Medi-cal and where I live there aren't many doctors who take that. So I hope both you and I find the right answer soon!

Originally Posted by Adespota

As the title says. I've been trying medications for 2 years now and nothing has taken even the edge off. Antidepressants actually seem to make me worse. This last one (Invega) was hopeful. For about a couple days to a week I felt better, more talkative, more motivation. So they upped the dose and then nothing. It's never going to end is it?

Also wondering, when should one go inpatient?

Hi Adespota: I've been on Cymbalta for 2 years now. And prior to that, I've been on quite a few other antidepressants as well, sometimes in combination with other stuff. None of it has ever made any serious dent in my depression.

The Cymbalta has seemed to do 2 things for me that cause me to stay on it though. First, it seems to "keep a floor under me", as I like to say. In other words, it seems like it keeps me from sliding so far down that I become actively suicidal again. When I do start getting that low, it seems like it kicks my sorry butt back up to a level where I just don't really give a rip one way or another.

The other thing the Cymbalta seems to do for me is to keep me from having little outbursts of anger, which used to be common. From my perspective, & based on my experience, I am convinced this is about as much as I can expect an antidepressant to do for me. I've tired of continually trying new med's. They never do any better; and the continual upheaval of changing from one med to another is disturbing.

As far as inpatient hospitalization goes... I've been involuntarily hospitalized twice following suicide attempts. Each time I was admitted to the psych ward of a different general hospital. Based on my experience, again, I 'd have to say the only value there is in being in the hospital on a psych ward is to keep one from making an attempt on one's life. Beyond that I don't believe I gained anything from my 2 experiences. Occasionally, when I get down, I think perhaps I should consider going back. But then I recall what it was like before & I conclude, what's the point, unless I'm truly a danger to myself.

[vital]

Originally Posted by Adespota

As the title says. I've been trying medications for 2 years now and nothing has taken even the edge off. Antidepressants actually seem to make me worse. This last one (Invega) was hopeful. For about a couple days to a week I felt better, more talkative, more motivation. So they upped the dose and then nothing. It's never going to end is it?

Also wondering, when should one go inpatient?

What have you tried besides medication?

[Rand.]

Thanks everyone I hope I'm able to find something that will do something but I'm not gonna hold my breath over it at this point :/ I hope to never be hospitalized against my will, but sometimes I wish I was. I don't really understand why I would want that, though. Maybe just feeling desperate.

Originally Posted by vital

What have you tried besides medication?

I've been to group therapy, DBT and individual counselling so far, the latter which I'm still in an hour every 5 weeks or so. That's about all I have at my disposal as of now. I have no other options here.

Also, my medications are strictly limited to what my pDoc has in Dr. samples or what is very inexpensive (like I'm on Trazodone for sleep which only costs me a total of $5.50/month). I have no way of paying for my medications and I can't get any coverage for it. I'm beginning to run out of options there, too. :/

[littlemiss1970]

I understand completely what you are going thru. I'm on five meds and still find no happiness or joy out of life. One of the meds I'm on cymbalta seems to take the edge off but I still get sui thoughts here and there. My pdoc is at a loss of what to do with me. I'm actively In therapy, have done dbt, have been impatient 6 times and am involved in aa. I have an optimistic heart but my head says otherwise. Going to the hospital isn't fun but it's totally worth it if yr life is in danger. NEVER hesitate to go if you feel sui. They can get yr meds stabilized and keep you safe. I hope you find some relief soon. It's really tough...be kind to yrself

[Altered Moment]

Originally Posted by littlemiss1970

I understand completely what you are going thru. I'm on five meds and still find no happiness or joy out of life. One of the meds I'm on cymbalta seems to take the edge off but I still get sui thoughts here and there. My pdoc is at a loss of what to do with me. I'm actively In therapy, have done dbt, have been impatient 6 times and am involved in aa. I have an optimistic heart but my head says otherwise. Going to the hospital isn't fun but it's totally worth it if yr life is in danger. NEVER hesitate to go if you feel sui. They can get yr meds stabilized and keep you safe. I hope you find some relief soon. It's really tough...be kind to yrself

When I got sober and joined AA after awhile my depression got much worse because I was no longer self medicating. I really had high hopes that if I was going to meeting everyday, working the steps and all that, going to group therapy, one on one therapy, that my depression would get better. It didn't. In twenty years of treatment the only thing that seems to work is if a med is working and often they haven't worked or they quit working. Twenty years of meditation, 12 steps, CBT, you name it......it was and is very disappointing and frustrating. Maybe my depressions would have been much worse, I dunno. But they have gotten worse in recent years, much worse even after all that treatment. I just keep trying. What else are we to do.

[vital]

Originally Posted by Adespota

Thanks everyone I hope I'm able to find something that will do something but I'm not gonna hold my breath over it at this point :/ I hope to never be hospitalized against my will, but sometimes I wish I was. I don't really understand why I would want that, though. Maybe just feeling desperate.

I've been to group therapy, DBT and individual counselling so far, the latter which I'm still in an hour every 5 weeks or so. That's about all I have at my disposal as of now. I have no other options here.

Also, my medications are strictly limited to what my pDoc has in Dr. samples or what is very inexpensive (like I'm on Trazodone for sleep which only costs me a total of $5.50/month). I have no way of paying for my medications and I can't get any coverage for it. I'm beginning to run out of options there, too. :/

Since you're in Canada, I'm really surprised that you have such restricted medical options, but OK...

I suspect that at some point, you've been told the the options for treating depression are antidepressants and therapy. However, there are things you can try that statistically speaking work better than either drugs or therapy and they cost nothing. I'm thinking of exercise, improving your diet and meditation. If you look in the "Depression Success Stories" section, for instance, you'll find people who report that they have completely resolved their depression just with meditation. If I were in your shoes, I would give these things a very serious try. You can also try this

http://forums.psychcentral.com/depre...n-escaped.html

which is easy to try and also free. In post #45 above and web sites by Mark Hyman and Andrew Weil, you can find ideas about diet and possible underlying medical or nutritional issues.

- vital

[Altered Moment]

Originally Posted by vital

Since you're in Canada, I'm really surprised that you have such restricted medical options, but OK...

I suspect that at some point, you've been told the the options for treating depression are antidepressants and therapy. However, there are things you can try that statistically speaking work better than either drugs or therapy and they cost nothing. I'm thinking of exercise, improving your diet and meditation. If you look in the "Depression Success Stories" section, for instance, you'll find people who report that they have completely resolved their depression just with meditation. If I were in your shoes, I would give these things a very serious try. You can also try this

http://forums.psychcentral.com/depre...n-escaped.html

which is easy to try and also free. In post #45 above and web sites by Mark Hyman and Andrew Weil, you can find ideas about diet and possible underlying medical or nutritional issues.

- vital

I was also wondering about the thing in Canada with their insurance system. Aren't prescription drugs covered?

I would like to see the studies that say statistically speaking exercise and meditation is better than meds and therapy combined. It seems the common consensus is that meds and therapy combined is the best approach. I would strongly encourage anyone to add these other methods or go with therapy and other methods without meds if meds haven't worked.

You might check out this thread. There is no way to know if those that reported lasting success relapsed or not and actually there are very few who reported lasting success.

http://forums.psychcentral.com/depre...s-stories.html

[Rand.]

Thank you both!
Prescription drugs in Ontario are tricky. You can get a sort of insurance through the government called TDP if you have financial problems covering your prescriptions. Trick is, I'm considered a part of my parent's household so I would have to pay 4% of their annual income for the year. If I was able to get disability (I've been denied twice so far, appeal is next and I may have botched that up because of my illness but I digress), it includes a drug plan.

I actually do eat pretty healthy (I have my moments though!) and I exercise at a gym It just seems healthy living to me so I didn't think to include that. I have... a lot of problems meditating. I have ADHD and the APs make it worse... I can't even focus on TV properly. I'll definitely check out all the resources you've both given me when I get some time to. I'm actually about to go to the gym now lol.

[klynnenicholas]

Originally Posted by zinco14532323

When I got sober and joined AA after awhile my depression got much worse because I was no longer self medicating. I really had high hopes that if I was going to meeting everyday, working the steps and all that, going to group therapy, one on one therapy, that my depression would get better. It didn't. In twenty years of treatment the only thing that seems to work is if a med is working and often they haven't worked or they quit working. Twenty years of meditation, 12 steps, CBT, you name it......it was and is very disappointing and frustrating. Maybe my depressions would have been much worse, I dunno. But they have gotten worse in recent years, much worse even after all that treatment. I just keep trying. What else are we to do.

I too am in aa and it seems everyone in there is happy joyous and free of depression. No one talks about being depressed. I guess I'm the only one whose depression is not cured simply by working the program. What do you think?

Originally Posted by klynnenicholas

I too am in aa and it seems everyone in there is happy joyous and free of depression. No one talks about being depressed. I guess I'm the only one whose depression is not cured simply by working the program. What do you think?

I am in AA too and I never share about my depression at meetings. There are a couple people I know in AA who have either bipolar or clinical depression and I talk to them about it because I know they understand that the Steps and turning it over are not going to cure my depression. When I was severely depressed I went to meetings and they did absolutely nothing for me. Now that my depression has improved some, I do feel better after going to meetings. It helps to be around people instead of isolating, and things like the Serenity Prayer - - accepting what I can't change - - do help to make me feel better.

In terms of what to do when nothing helps, I got so desperate that I had ECT and it did help my depression. It hasn't completely gotten rid of it but I think there are some lifestyle things (for example, lack of a volunteer position or job) that are keeping me slightly depressed. Exercise is another thing that improves my mood (jogging for me).

what about St Johns Wort? meant to be very, very helpful for TR depression. i am thinking of trying it.

[greywolf72]

My mood tracker score always improves after going for a jog. It's weird how effective it can be for some people or perhaps most.

Greywolf

[JadeAmethyst]

I hope that you will find ways to feel better soon. A lot of good ideas here, and remember that you will feel better....be well.

Jade

[Altered Moment]

Originally Posted by klynnenicholas

I too am in aa and it seems everyone in there is happy joyous and free of depression. No one talks about being depressed. I guess I'm the only one whose depression is not cured simply by working the program. What do you think?

Sorry, I didn't see this. I will answer you tomorrow. I have thoughts on it.

[abefroman]

What do I do when nothing helps?
SUFFER

Seriously though, I just keep trying. NEVER give up!

[Altered Moment]

Here is a recent post that shows why you never never give up.

http://forums.psychcentral.com/depre...ch-better.html

The same is true for me in the last year. I have found a med that is working better than anything I have ever tried. I can give you a list two pages long of all the things I have been doing for the last twenty years to treat my depression besides meds.

[Altered Moment]

Originally Posted by klynnenicholas

I too am in aa and it seems everyone in there is happy joyous and free of depression. No one talks about being depressed. I guess I'm the only one whose depression is not cured simply by working the program. What do you think?

My experience of 20 years in AA and I can tell you for a fact that many many people in AA also have depression and other mental health problems. People are afraid to talk about it. I am pretty stubborn, have thick skin, and love to argue, aside from my depressive, shy, withdrawn nature. When I am feeling good I am not afraid to share or to argue.

I started sharing a lot in open meetings about my depression. To me it was very much related to my alcoholism and was not an outside issue. Of course some people gave me flack that it is an outside issue. I even talked openly about taking meds and of course a few a-holes said I wasn't even sober because I took those damn antidepressants. Those guys I told to F off.

At first I was very stubborn about sharing about my depression and meds. Kind of in your face. I cannot tell you how many people have come up to me after the meeting and thanked me and told me they also suffer. Or people who don't have it but were very understanding and compassionate. Way way more than the a-holes.

I got sober in a medium sized city in CA that had a large AA community. Those of us with depression kind of had our own support group outside of the rooms. Today I don't really need AA support for my depression because I have lots of other support. If I am suffering I will still sometimes share because I know the chances are high there is someone else sitting in that room also suffering. Or if someone else shares it will give me the courage to share my story of depression.

Many people don't understand and will tell you to just work the steps. I applied the steps to my depression for many years and it hasn't worked. It's hard to share when the next comment you hear is "The best cure for depression is overtime." Like I could work overtime when in a severe suicidal depression.

Overall I think we should be cautious about sharing and look for people who also suffer and support each other. Not everyone is happy joyous and free and lots of people in the rooms suffer from depression. It's hard not to be jealous of those who are happy joyous and free. Lots of the promises have come true for me but not all of them.

The book itself talks about us and how we should seek outside help and how it is harder for us.

[Altered Moment]

Actually I can say all of the promises have come true for me. It has taken lots of consistent hard work and a number of years of sobriety. Not all the promises are true for me all the time or for anyone. Especially number 2. I am not always depressed though and lots of times it's true. It's not so black and white sometimes each one is true and sometimes not.

The AA Promises
1. If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed
before we are half way through.
2. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
3. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
4. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.
5. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience
can benefit others.
6. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.
7. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.
8. Self-seeking will slip away.
9. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.
10. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.
11. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.
12. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for
ourselves

The most important thing is never lose hope and never never give up. You never know what is around the corner. Change is the only constant. Trust me I know how hard it is since I have been suffering from chronic severe depression since I was 13.