Very depressed would like some insight

Hello everyone. I am new here. Glad I found this site. I think I have been battling depression for a very long time alone. I think it has more to do with people around me (family & friends plus other life stresses more than anything else). I'm at a point where I don't know if it is me or them or what should I do. I have a very small immediate family consisting of my older sister, my mom, and two younger adopted sisters. I do speak with my father & his son (my older half brother) but I lean on my mom & sis emotionally. But when I just want or need to talk they make me feel worse saying things like I'm too sensitive or I get upset over silly things or people have it worse than me. They are highly critical & criticize how I dress, my weight, & most of all how I parent my child which hurts more than anything. My mom thinks I don't spend enough time with my child but I work and attend school part time. I have every weekend I spend with her & we do have a lot of quality time together in general. I would talk to my friends but they seem to compete with me & feel insecure with themselves and subtly put me down. I find it so hard to speak up for myself because I don't want to seem too sensitive or hostile so I hold a lot in which I know isn't good. My sister says I can't take a joke but for so long I feel like people try to put me down. Now my childs father & I live together with our child & he hardly helps me. We don't communicate & I have to clean up, take care of our child, work, go to school, cook, pay bills etc. I am very tired. I tried going to the doctor but I feel like I need to talk to someone but I don't have the time. I'm am so tired all of the time and to have to leave out & get my child ready and drive somewhere every week in addition to my other responsibilitles doesn't seem worth it. I do realize that all is not bad in my life but I need change, I need to release. I need time for me and people who love & understand me. Thanks for reading.

[QUOTE=skittles99;1387502]Hello everyone. I am new here. Glad I found this site. I think I have been battling depression for a very long time alone. I think it has more to do with people around me (family & friends plus other life stresses more than anything else). I'm at a point where I don't know if it is me or them or what should I do.

I have a very small immediate family consisting of my older sister, my mom, and two younger adopted sisters. I do speak with my father & his son (my older half brother) but I lean on my mom & sis emotionally. But when I just want or need to talk they make me feel worse saying things like I'm too sensitive or I get upset over silly things or people have it worse than me. They are highly critical & criticize how I dress, my weight, & most of all how I parent my child which hurts more than anything.

My mom thinks I don't spend enough time with my child but I work and attend school part time. I have every weekend I spend with her & we do have a lot of quality time together in general. I would talk to my friends but they seem to compete with me & feel insecure with themselves and subtly put me down. I find it so hard to speak up for myself because I don't want to seem too sensitive or hostile so I hold a lot in which I know isn't good. My sister says I can't take a joke but for so long I feel like people try to put me down.

Now my childs father & I live together with our child & he hardly helps me. We don't communicate & I have to clean up, take care of our child, work, go to school, cook, pay bills etc. I am very tired. I tried going to the doctor but I feel like I need to talk to someone but I don't have the time. I'm am so tired all of the time and to have to leave out & get my child ready and drive somewhere every week in addition to my other responsibilitles doesn't seem worth it. I do realize that all is not bad in my life but I need change, I need to release. I need time for me and people who love & understand me. What should I do? Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can cope better? I really feel stuck & depressed. Thanks for reading.

I was venting and I feel so much better since I wrote the post but maybe I didn't make it too clear but I was wondering can anyone relate to my situation or have any practical advice on ways I can cope with negativity? I know it is a lengthly post but I just wanted to try to explain the whole picture. Thanks.

(((((skittles99)))))--what's with the relationship with your child's father?

Do you two get along? Why doesn't he help you with things?

I mean, like, if you two are together (are you?), why isn't he pulling his share of the load?

Could you clarify what this guy does for you in this relationship?
Sounds as if you are doing everything---and that's not how it's supposed to work.

If you don't communicate, why not get rid of the burden of him?
You'd have less to take care of, and more time to get you some care for you.

Welcome to pc-----and I don't know all the circumstances--so if I have offended; it's out of ignorance-------I send you thoughtful hugs------theo

Hi skittles99,

Are you and the child's father living together as "friends" or as a couple? Have you tried talking with him about how you're feeling?

Having a baby is very stressful. It can be both joyful and hard on other relationships. Especially if you and the father don't communicate real well. It's very common for both parents to feel overwhelmed by the tasks ahead of them, and to feel as though others aren't contributing much. Those are very human emotions. Talking about those thoughts and emotions openly, with one another, is highly recommended.

That said, maybe the above doesn't apply to you. Maybe the father is being a loser, who is uninterested in his child. That is a possibility. I would rather believe that he is interested though...and is just feeling kind of lost. Perfectly normal reaction to parenthood. How is he contributing to the household?

You stated that he hardly helps you....so he is doing something. What is that something that he's doing? Is he going to school as well? Working? Stay at home dad?

Welcome to Psych Central . I hope that you get the support and understanding that you're looking for. There are some helpful online parenting groups that can provide a lot of emotional support, experience and ideas to tackle troubles as your baby grows.

While time seems to take forever in the moment, looking back you can see that it flew by! My girls are 5 and 7 now, which is completely different phase of childhood. But I do remember the stress of being a stay at home nursing mom. I loved nursing, loved my girls very much, but I also wished that I could get out with other moms. MOMS Club was a wonderful discovery for me! They are an international group. Do check your area online, to see if one is available nearby. It was such an emotional relief for me to see other women with similar struggles & happiness. I picked up some good techniques too, watching interractions, and my girls playing with other kids their age was fun for them! A win-win situation.

((hugs)) Best wishes!

What's going on skittles99?