Codependant

I'm codependant. My husband texted me that he was going for a bike ride with his buddy just before I got home from work. It pissed me off that he who barely spends time with me would go on a bike ride. How dare him have fun on a weekday while I'm stuck at home caring for the dogs. I just want to take a bat to his precious bike. I know that I'm irrational right know and I'm reacting to what he's doing. I just don't know how to get off the anxiety ride right now. Any suggestions?

Take the dogs for a nice stroll take a deep breath and enjoy nature

whiteroses, have you tried reading the book, "Codependent No More"? I haven't read it, but I have heard good things about it. It's by Melody Beattie. I believe there's also a workbook.

Do you have a T that you can work with? A T or group therapy can help you with grounding techniques to help you when you feel anxious. Some of the things I'm learning about now are breathing techniques, mindfulness, and healthy ways to distract yourself. A T might also be willing to work through the workbook with you -- sometimes it helps if you have to be accountable to someone.

Try to take care of yourself!

Maybe think of how much of a better mood he'll be in when he is with you? My husband went to the racetrack leaving me to do his chores but when I explored it with him, I discovered his back was in pain and he was hoping to distract himself. I love him and don't want him in pain and there is no reason I had to do the dishes (I did because it hurt him to bend over and, again, I wanted him to feel better). Next time, text him back that he MUST have something fun or interesting to report from his bike ride or he can't come home

You have to stay with the dogs? I wouldn't want dogs like that; you would not be able to go for a bike ride, the two of you together? Everyone staying home with the dogs does not sound like what I would want, for me or him!

I have read the book Codependent No More by Melodie Beattie. I found it really helpful. There is also a sequel called Beyond Codependency. I really struggle with this issue too but I am getting better at thinking that every thing I say or do has an impact on everything around me. Accepting myself is always a struggle, but it helps to remember that we are ok just as we are. I think Perna had some really great suggestions too. My husband is away a lot due to work but I always try to keep in touch and try to get him to talk about what he is doing so I feel connected. I crave the physical presence, touch, and affection when he is away, but keep telling myself it is his job and he has to do his thing just like I do
Hugs -- I am rooting for you Love, Larissa

I'm reading the book know, wish I had this info years ago. Thank you for your compassion. I don't have a therapist at this moment but will be looking into finding one. The book Codependancy No More is a huge help and I will surely find better ways to cope with my anxiety.

Larissa-

It's always comforting to know that there are others out there who are like me in some way. It doesn't make me feel so lonely. I purchased both books but still making my way through the first half. I have alot of work to do on myself and I know that it's going to get really bad before it gets better. This why I visit this forum so that my emotions don't get the better of me when it gets bad. Lots of hugs. Thank you.