Really Unsure....

For a lil while now I've been dealing with stress,depression and now .n anxiety disorder. .. All which I believe came from my husband of 13yearS constant physical abuse in the past. Now it's verbally abuse I get, but I'm at a point in my life where I can't take it any more! I am so fed up with bull That I have to to something about this situation before it's to late for me. I went and sought help today and have been trying to get my husband to see and understand what I'm going through because of him and I got no kind of interest or response from him at all till tonight. I gave him the boot, told him he had to leave cause I don't feel he is helping me in anyway but making things worse! He says he'll leave on his day's off and than 30minutes later he's at my side saying he's sorry and he love's me and he's going to try..... Same old song and dance! Was making him leave the right thing to do or should I wait another 13years??? I go back to the clinic tomorrow to see what kind of help I can get to my road of recovery but I'm so unsure about what I should do about my husband!!

"13yearS constant physical abuse in the past." is a cause for leaving. Actions speak louder than words. It does not matter that he tells you that he would try and he loves you - those are words. His actions are physical and verbal abuse.

It is hard to know what the answer to your dilemma should be. From my vantage point, I guess I would see where counseling goes and not make any rash decisions. Other people including our husbands can only give us what they have, but they cannot solve our problems as much as we might like them to do so.

It is probably best to avoid any rash decisions, without counseling and support. If your husband is sincere about trying to do better, perhaps you might want to give him a chance. If he is open, give him specific concrete suggestions as to what you want. I get the impression we females are very mysterious from a male perspective even when it does not seem that way to us.

WOW! For some reason,That is so what I needed to hear.... Thank you so much for your advice JLarissaDragon. He did say he is will to go to counseling as a family and even just he and when before he never would have suggested anything of the sort. Your awesome, thank you!

Definiately get marriage counceling. I have been where you are. My H and I have been in marriage counceling 9 or 10 months now. It is FINAILLY starting to help. I was in a past sexually abusive relationship, then met my H and have been in a mentally and emotionally abusive relationship of 18 years.

The T (therepy) has helped SO much. It helped me gain stregnth, and not to be so fearful. It has helped my H see he was an ***. I think he is finially starting to wee. Just a few short weeks ago I was at the point of geting a lawyer and the T had a session w/ just him, and explained the reality and severity of the problem at hand. This past 2 weeks have been better. I hope it continues. I have my guard up though. IT is not usually successsful. SO I know how you feel. If you think he is willing to go to T and work on things then I would let him stay.

Thank you so much Big Mama!