My attempt to get pregnant

I've been on at least one antidepressant for OCD and depression for the past 16 years, ever since I was 14 years old. Last summer, I asked my psychiatrist if I could get pregnant and what medication should or could I become pregnant on? At that time, I was currently on Anafranil, and had been on it for 9 years. My doctor said Prozac is a good medication to be pregnant on for the first 2 trimesters of pregnancy. Then I would wean off sometime during pregnancy. So she weaned me off of 300mg of Anafranil in the fall and it took months to wean off. My last dose was February 1st. She also put me on 20mg of Prozac in the fall as well. She attempted to raise it during those months, but I said I was fine and I wanted to stay on the lowest dose of Prozac for the baby's sake. My last dose of Anafranil was February 1st, and in the month of February, I started having bad insomnia and I cried a lot. There were many nights where I wouldn't be able to get to sleep until past 2am. There were 3 nights in a span of a few weeks where I couldn't fall asleep til 5am. My grandma had also passed away in late January, so I was going through some grieving as well, and I still am. So my doctor raised the Prozac and put me on 100mg of Vistaril and it is doing good. I am able to fall asleep around midnight or 1 am. I was kind of freaking out at my doctors office telling her I don't want kids anymore. So she put me on Vistaril and I can't get pregnant on that. The doctor also said I couldn't attempt to get pregnant until May 1st.. So I know I'm not pregnant now.

I am very indecisive. So I really am stumped. I could go on Trazodone and go off of Vistaril to get pregnant. But I'm afraid of being on 2 psych meds while I'm pregnant. I do definitely plan to talk to my doctor about this.

I also have something more to add which makes my story worse about wanting to have kids. I was diagnosed with a hyperthyroid when I was 24. I was put on a medication and since then my doctor said I can not get pregnant on that medication. The other medication used to treat hyperthyroid causes liver failure and death, so my doctor refused to put me on that. So she said I had to have surgery to have my thyroid removed and to be put on thyroid hormone after that, which I can get pregnant on. So I had this surgery 5 months ago, and now I have a huge noticeable scar on my neck.

So I'm still deciding what to do about having a kid. I want to have a kid, but I didn't decide that until I was 30 years old. Before that age, I didn't want a kid. Just to have a kid alone aside from the mental illness and depression is a lot. So many things are being thrown in my face because I have this stupid mental illness and been dependent on meds since I was 14 years old.

this seems like a real challenge. i think the ultimate decision to make is whether you are up for the challenge of being responsible for a child for the next 19 years. (worry about how you are going to get there later) you could try a pro/con list. on the con side is med issues, mental health issues, coping issues to start. put down all the challenges of raising a kid. all of them. and dont assume you are going to have an angel. think of everything you are going to have to put up with. are you good at applying consequences, discipline? are you assertive? do you have the power to follow thru? the lack of sleep, worrying, home work, up all night with a sick kid, school functions, financial issues, defiance, fighting over chores, messy rooms, boys/girls, crying all the time....................then put down all the good things you want a child for. then sit on it for a week or so and go over it again and make your decision. if it is a strong yes, then the 9 months of hell of being off your meds is going to be worth it. the nine months of hell should be on the con side. cause not only will your meds not be what youre used to, you will have all those hormones raging through your body and then at risk for post partem depression. i hope this isnt too negative of a post, i am just trying to cover all the facts. i had a friend in your place who almost committed suicide because she went off her meds to get pregnant. she didnt think very carefully about what she was doing. she was just trying to please her boyfriend. so really think it thru. which it sounds like you are trying to do. take care.

I feel for you. I've gone through a pregnancy with no meds and a pregnancy on zoloft 50 mg. The second one on zoloft was a lot less of a mental roller coaster. I've heard prozac is okay too for being preg, like your dr said. My kids are now 3 and 1. I should add my ob was willing to raise zoloft to 100 mg while i was pregnant but i was too worried about it and stayed on 50. now i'm on 150 and breastfeeding.
i love my kiddos tons. sometimes there is guilt because i feel like i am not as good a mom as i should be. like right now they are watching tv while i go on here.
in the thick of my issues before getting help i didn't think i wanted kids. i thought i would just have a lot of pets. that would have been ok too, but i'm very very thankful and blessed for having my kiddos.
just wanted to try to help & relate.

A few things to consider - with the help of your doctor, you definitely need to be on the medication that is safe for your baby, even if it is just a fleeting thought that you want a baby, that needs to be put right sooner rather than later. Other things to consider - having a child is not going to make all your problems alright, you will need to live on virtually no sleep for at least a year unless you have a good supportive partner willing to do the night feeds. This is a massive life changing decision that can't be changed, the school run, outings, children staying over, not to mention the expense! Don't get me wrong, having children is a wonderful thing but you will need support.

I have read the replies to this thread and thank you all for them. I will gather my thoughts and post another reply in this thread later. I have to go to work soon.