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  #1  
Old Jun 05, 2016, 07:54 PM
brokenandalone1234 brokenandalone1234 is offline
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Has anyone else ever loved someone and been in a relationship with someone they thought was too good for them. I am not talking because they made you feel like that but because your self hate and low self esteem has made you feel like that. I have feelings all the time that my fiance is too good for me like I don't desvere someone who doesn't abuse me. I have always hated myself ever since like the age of like 10 or 11. It all started with the bullying I faced in 4th grade. The bullying got worse the older I got from 4th grade till my last day of high school I was bullied. My fiance can tell me an outfit may look good together before I even put it on and then when he says it doesn't look good after I have it on I take it as a personal attack on my looks and blow up. I have gotten to the point now that when I have these feelings of self hate that I push him away. I think that's why I blow up on him when he says things like that it's because I don't feel good enough for him so I try and make myself look better and it sometimes ends in a huge fight because I feel like I ain't good enough for him and he is attacking my looks when he says something doesn't look right on me. I have an average size body. I am by no means a size 0 haven't been in a while and probably never will be again. I don't handle critizism well never have due to the bullying. As anyone else ever felt like this and how did you handle it?
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  #2  
Old Jun 05, 2016, 08:03 PM
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pegasus pegasus is offline
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Yes I know exactly what you mean. I guess you know already that I'm going to say this is from past issues and you need therapy on your low self-esteem. Knowing where those feelings come from originally will help you understand. Try to make a conscious effort to take on board that someone really does love you. Learning to love yourself is a process. I haven't worked it out myself yet but it is a work in progress.
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  #3  
Old Jun 05, 2016, 08:08 PM
brokenandalone1234 brokenandalone1234 is offline
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Yea it sure is. My fiance grew up in a different type of family then I did. He grew up always knowing where his next meal was coming from and I grew up sometimes not knowing if I wondering if I would eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner the next day. He got pretty much everything he wanted in life and I got what I needed and hardly ever got anything I wanted. His family has always been more well off then mine so I feel like may be I am just too white trash for him. He grew up in a very small town in Kentucky and I grew up in the projects in Indiana so I think that effects my self esteem knowning that I came from the ghetto and that he grew up in the country and had more than I ever did.
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  #4  
Old Jun 07, 2016, 02:03 PM
Anonymous59898
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Originally Posted by brokenandalone1234 View Post
Yea it sure is. My fiance grew up in a different type of family then I did. He grew up always knowing where his next meal was coming from and I grew up sometimes not knowing if I wondering if I would eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner the next day. He got pretty much everything he wanted in life and I got what I needed and hardly ever got anything I wanted. His family has always been more well off then mine so I feel like may be I am just too white trash for him. He grew up in a very small town in Kentucky and I grew up in the projects in Indiana so I think that effects my self esteem knowning that I came from the ghetto and that he grew up in the country and had more than I ever did.
((hugs))

You are not trash and are so much more than the background you were born into, although the experiences have affected you. You are a unique and special person, with your own special combination of qualities that make you who you are - and you are worthy of love.

Criticism can be hard to take on board, how it is delivered can make a big difference. For instance, maybe "I prefer you in the black dress" rather than "the green dress doesn't look right on you", maybe talk that over with him when you are feeling calm and okay to do so.
  #5  
Old Aug 07, 2016, 10:00 AM
brokenandalone1234 brokenandalone1234 is offline
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Again today I try to push my fiance away. I know I would never let him walk out of my life but my self hate is fighting me. He wants me to take my meds to be normal for him but I can't bring myself to do it because no matter what I will never feel good enough for him. I just wish the self hate would stop. I want to love myself because I have been told you can't truly love someone else till you love yourself first. He just left the house and we were fighting when he did. I don't know what to do anymore. I don't want him to walk away. I love him but I can't stop the self hate. I wish I was normal. I wish I wasn't some stupid bipolar mess.
  #6  
Old Aug 07, 2016, 10:30 AM
TishaBuv TishaBuv is offline
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If you found a $100 dollar bill on the street, wouldn't you pick it up and keep it? Be your own best friend. Keep something good for yourself. If he wants to spend his life with you, he sees value in you that you don't see yourself. Trust in that. You are worthy. Don't throw him away.
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  #7  
Old Aug 07, 2016, 04:55 PM
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technigal technigal is offline
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I often feel like my husband is too good for me (we have been married for 14.5 years). I tell him I am lucky to have him, but he thinks he is the lucky one. There are times I have begged him to divorce me, that I am no good for him. Yet he sticks around. Slowly I am accepting that he loves me no matter what. We are worthy of love and it sucks that we did not have it as a child. We will get through this.
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  #8  
Old Aug 07, 2016, 05:23 PM
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Angelique67 Angelique67 is offline
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I love my friend so much, even though we're in a gray area of not really dating. I owe him my life. I absolutely don't feel good enough for him, though. I'd look worlds better if I could only lose weight.
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  #9  
Old Aug 07, 2016, 09:13 PM
Anonymous37883
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Originally Posted by TishaBuv View Post
If you found a $100 dollar bill on the street, wouldn't you pick it up and keep it? Be your own best friend. Keep something good for yourself. If he wants to spend his life with you, he sees value in you that you don't see yourself. Trust in that. You are worthy. Don't throw him away.
Very good advice.
Thanks for this!
TishaBuv
  #10  
Old Aug 08, 2016, 06:34 AM
TishaBuv TishaBuv is offline
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Originally Posted by ValentinaVVV View Post
Very good advice.
If only I could take my own advice...
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  #11  
Old Aug 21, 2016, 12:52 AM
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ComfortablyNumb5 ComfortablyNumb5 is offline
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When my bf threatened to leave me last week is when my situation hit me. It was after an IP stay from my BP. He says he wants to leave and I'm panicking. He's been supporting me since I'm to sick to work so without him I'm screwed. I also have very low self esteem. I see the girls he likes on TV and it drives me nuts. Seeing his love for beautiful, done up women, and me not working or having anything to put on the table makes me worry. Will be leave me for the next hottie that gives him the time of day?! I think what you need is to see a T and work on your self worth. Think of the positives. Your SO is with you for some reason so he must see good in you. Don't be so hard on yourself. Many people feel like you do. You're not alone here.

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