Home Menu

Menu


Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old Dec 05, 2017, 03:38 PM
annxo annxo is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2017
Location: IL
Posts: 89
I'm 5 weeks pregnant with a man who I'm not sure is the man of my dreams...I love him but he spends too much time getting drunk and smoking cigarettes instead of working. Since I've been with him I don't have a job anymore since he won't let me work in a bar. I've lost all my friends since he gets mad if I go out with them. He also treats me like a child.. He's 39 and I'm 24 we've been together for 2 years.. he at least goes outside to smoke now..

Anyway, since I've became pregnant..I have grown to be extremely depressed and moody. At times I want to commit suicide..I hate waking up in the morning and all day feels like a nightmare to me.

I'm not sure if this is normal because I'm pregnant or if I'm genuinely not ready for a child..

I can't stop thinking about getting an abortion... I would be so much happier but at the same time I'm worried that I will feel like a murderer. (Also, I'm not religious)

I feel like I'm an a extremely tough place...

For the past 8 years, I've done nothing but pop pills and drink alcohol. I also smoked marijuana the whole time.

Somehow I had a feeling I was pregnant before I even missed my period and tested positive so I've been completely sober since. (I've also been sober from pills for the past 2-3 months)

Anyway I feel like I'm losing my mind and I don't know what to do....

I'm worried that my mental state will harm the baby
(Since, I have no desire to eat healthy or exercise)

Has any other woman been in this situation?

I know I'm kind of all over the place on this post.. I do apologize for that.
Hugs from:
Anonymous57777, healingme4me, Persephone518

advertisement
  #2  
Old Dec 05, 2017, 06:26 PM
Anonymous50909
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
I haven't been in the same situation but I'm a mom and I know pregnancy hormones can really make you emotionally all over the place. If you are not ready to be a mom, abortion is a valid option. Only you can make that choice. I wish you luck with your decision and how you are feeling. Maybe a trip to the doctor would be a good idea.
Thanks for this!
annxo, Persephone518
  #3  
Old Dec 10, 2017, 04:13 AM
Patagonia's Avatar
Patagonia Patagonia is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Sep 2013
Location: In my own little world, NO trespassing!
Posts: 4,660
Imho I really think you need to stop & take some serious stock of where you are in your life. Before other things happen!!!
The first of many red flags I see is “he won’t let me work in a bar...”
WTF!
He spends all his time drinking & smoking?? How’s that going to improve with a baby in the house? Does he wanto have a baby with you?
(& really a guy from your dreams isn’t real...it is a dream)

You don’t have any friends bec HE gets mad?? Again WTF!

And he treats you like a child. Is this solely bec of your age or is this guy a daddy or father figure for you?
Yeah I can definitely see why you’re depressed. I’m not trying to be ugly here, but a baby is really a lifetime commitment. Are you ready for that? Is he?

I agree with the above post. Yes you should be worried about your own mental state & if you wanto bring a baby into your world.
Just my honest opinion.
Good luck!
__________________
"Doubt is like dye. Once it spreads into the fabric of excuses you've woven, you'll never get rid of the stain."
Jodi Picoult
Thanks for this!
annxo
  #4  
Old Dec 10, 2017, 11:18 PM
healingme4me's Avatar
healingme4me healingme4me is offline
Perpetually Pondering
Community Liaison
 
Member Since: Apr 2013
Location: New England
Posts: 46,298
Part of your depressed mood could be compounded by withdrawal that your body is going through. If he's spending time drinking and not working, does this mean he isn't secure with a paycheck?
8 years of not being sober brings your age to 16 when you started with that lifestyle? I ask because it leads me to question what your relationship may or may not be like with your parents? Do you have extended family? What about adoption services if abortion isn't sitting well with you? Does your bf know? Does he want to be the type of father for this child that the child deserves? Will he change his not so sober ways to coparent?
Lots of things to consider.
  #5  
Old Dec 10, 2017, 11:48 PM
winter loneliness's Avatar
winter loneliness winter loneliness is offline
Grand Member
 
Member Since: Aug 2017
Location: barren wasteland
Posts: 988
I think that it would be really difficult to co-parent with a controlling *****. Believe me I have done it.

I did have kids and I am the primary caregiver. Do you feel ready for that? If not, an abortion may be a good choice. Or adoption.
__________________
"I get knocked down, but I get up again..."

Bipolar 1
Thanks for this!
annxo, Patagonia
  #6  
Old Dec 11, 2017, 12:25 AM
LiteraryLark's Avatar
LiteraryLark LiteraryLark is offline
Crowned "The Good Witch"
 
Member Since: Jun 2009
Location: Wonderland
Posts: 11,542
It may be best to give the baby up for adoption. I would say hell no to the daddy and I'm sorry but 2-3 months sober is simply not enough to be "clean enough" to get your head in the game for a life-long commitment.
Thanks for this!
annxo
  #7  
Old Dec 12, 2017, 07:22 PM
annxo annxo is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2017
Location: IL
Posts: 89
I've made up my mind, I want to have an abortion...
The only thing that is really hard is the fact that I work for myself online and I need to come up with $400...
Usually this is a somewhat easy task for me... but I've grown so incredibly depressed since I've found out that I'm pregnant that it makes it hard for me to want to do anything...
Hugs from:
Anonymous50909, healingme4me, Persephone518, whoamihere
Thanks for this!
Patagonia
  #8  
Old Dec 16, 2017, 12:47 PM
hexacoda's Avatar
hexacoda hexacoda is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Sep 2012
Posts: 152
I hope you are able to get that money together, if that's your choice. I know I'm just an internet stranger but I support you.
Thanks for this!
annxo
  #9  
Old Dec 26, 2017, 11:13 PM
annxo annxo is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2017
Location: IL
Posts: 89
I have it scheduled for tomorrow.. and I have a terrible head-cold. I'm also having second thoughts... The dad is still going to court and might be put on house arrest..or just probation. He claims he will get a job even if it's just flipping burgers...also he's been very good to me lately... He also supports me in which ever option I choose and agreed to help pay for it...this is so tough..
Hugs from:
healingme4me, Unhinged88, whoamihere
  #10  
Old Dec 27, 2017, 01:55 AM
winter loneliness's Avatar
winter loneliness winter loneliness is offline
Grand Member
 
Member Since: Aug 2017
Location: barren wasteland
Posts: 988
Leave him and stick to your plan.
__________________
"I get knocked down, but I get up again..."

Bipolar 1
Thanks for this!
annxo, whoamihere
  #11  
Old Jan 06, 2018, 01:24 AM
Patagonia's Avatar
Patagonia Patagonia is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Sep 2013
Location: In my own little world, NO trespassing!
Posts: 4,660
How r things going annxo? How you feeling??? Just sending (((hugs))))
__________________
"Doubt is like dye. Once it spreads into the fabric of excuses you've woven, you'll never get rid of the stain."
Jodi Picoult
Hugs from:
annxo
Thanks for this!
annxo
  #12  
Old Jan 08, 2018, 11:10 PM
annxo annxo is offline
Member
 
Member Since: Mar 2017
Location: IL
Posts: 89
I want to thank all of you for making me feel heard... just an update, it's been about 12 days since I had my abortion. It was by far the hardest thing I've ever done in my entire life. The experience was something out of a nightmare, it was even scheduled (latest I could) on my mom's birthday...she doesn't believe in abortions so of course I never told her about my pregnancy....I was so upset I ended up finding myself some xanax by time the day was over. Afterwards, being almost 2 weeks later... I'm back to my regular drinking and smoking again BUT I am a lot more focused on getting my life together so that one day I could have a child.
Hugs from:
Anonymous59898, healingme4me, whoamihere
Thanks for this!
Patagonia
  #13  
Old Jan 10, 2018, 08:11 PM
Patagonia's Avatar
Patagonia Patagonia is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Sep 2013
Location: In my own little world, NO trespassing!
Posts: 4,660
Quote:
Originally Posted by annxo View Post
I want to thank all of you for making me feel heard... just an update, it's been about 12 days since I had my abortion. It was by far the hardest thing I've ever done in my entire life. The experience was something out of a nightmare, it was even scheduled (latest I could) on my mom's birthday...she doesn't believe in abortions so of course I never told her about my pregnancy....I was so upset I ended up finding myself some xanax by time the day was over. Afterwards, being almost 2 weeks later... I'm back to my regular drinking and smoking again BUT I am a lot more focused on getting my life together so that one day I could have a child.


I wish you peace. Contentment. Focus & strength!
__________________
"Doubt is like dye. Once it spreads into the fabric of excuses you've woven, you'll never get rid of the stain."
Jodi Picoult
Thanks for this!
annxo
  #14  
Old Jan 24, 2018, 12:07 PM
Patagonia's Avatar
Patagonia Patagonia is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Sep 2013
Location: In my own little world, NO trespassing!
Posts: 4,660
Quote:
Originally Posted by annxo View Post
I want to thank all of you for making me feel heard... just an update, it's been about 12 days since I had my abortion. It was by far the hardest thing I've ever done in my entire life. The experience was something out of a nightmare, it was even scheduled (latest I could) on my mom's birthday...she doesn't believe in abortions so of course I never told her about my pregnancy....I was so upset I ended up finding myself some xanax by time the day was over. Afterwards, being almost 2 weeks later... I'm back to my regular drinking and smoking again BUT I am a lot more focused on getting my life together so that one day I could have a child.


How are you feeling lately? Physically? Mentally? Hope you’re well!
__________________
"Doubt is like dye. Once it spreads into the fabric of excuses you've woven, you'll never get rid of the stain."
Jodi Picoult
Reply
Views: 2083

attentionThis is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 12:16 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.




 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.