I want more kids

I always have wanted more, but time is running out. That and i would have to make it look like an accidental pregnancy because my mom doesn't think i should have any more. My doctors say i am high risk. I always was high risk just because of family history and weight. So now even more so.

But honestly i don't want to prevent it anymore, too much damage to my body doing so. Even the guys I have seen want kids with me, and i figure if it's God's will i will have more, if not i'll survive. But the problem is with thinking i might be when it turns out i am not. Phathom pregnancy, that sucks.

Right now it will be 6 months before i even meet the military guy, unless he takes a leave. But i told him i would wait for him, he's a good catch and planning to retire from the military. Today I asked him how he feels about raising kids in retirement, he does have a 9 year old. I will see what he says.

Yep see what he says, hope he agrees with you

I wouldn't go with what your mom says; you're a grown woman. I mean, you can take her advice into consideration, but I don't think it's necessary to lie to her should you opt for having a baby.

Aviza,

I truly understand your desire to have children. It's physical, emotional, spiritual, and it's very deep within us.

That said, it is concerning to me that your doctors consider a pregnancy to be high risk for you. Why is that? Medications that you need to take for your health? Are there changes that you can healthfully make to make a pregnancy "safe" for you and the baby?

It is hard ~ but, sometimes it's best to not push our bodies any further. For example, I pushed myself to have my 2nd daughter. I honestly love everything about her. BUT I lost control of my epilepsy early in my pregnancy. The seizures got worse quickly, and required a doubling of medication (which held possible side effects to my daughter). Thankfully, she was born healthy! However, I never regained control over my seizures. I had to go to experts, which led to brain surgery & that had major lifelong side effects (both physical & emotional). That is my reality, 13 years later.

I truly love my daughters down to my very core. But, sometimes we have to seriously consider what doctors are advising and ask for complete reasoning for their concern. Then you can make an informed, educated decision on what's best for you and your family.

Best wishes to you!

Thanks all. I think it's my weight but i was fat with my daughter just a bit heavier now. Got gestestial diabetes, now I'm sure i would end up with diabetes. Both parents had it, it comes eventually.

The meds say i can get pregnant but not recommended for third trimester or breastfeeding which i like to do collysrum but don't generally last breastfeeding anyway. So i wonder if i can quit meds for a while and still be ok or if i would need to continue them and put baby at risk. Generally say will cry alot if meds used.

I don't ever want to quit meds. I fear hearing voices.

I know this will come off sounding harsh. And maybe it is, but saying this is “gods will” is juvenile behavior.
Not telling your mom???
Not listening to dr advice is juvenile behavior.
Putting a baby in uterus at risk due to drug exposure is also juvenile.

I’m sorry this sounds selfish to me. Creating a human being is a massive decision. Why do you want a baby?

I was conscientious in my planning to have a baby. I was super worried about passing along a birth defect that my dad and then myself had. Trying to offer a healthy womb was so important to me. Granted I still could but chances are slim. I've since put into my body immuno suppressent and modulating types of medications and I would cringe at the idea of causing harm.

It's really not your mother's place to dictate to you what you can and cannot do. She doesn't have such legal rights, does she?

Would telling this man you are going to meet that having a baby is you end goal possibly send him running for the hills?

How would your current child feel?

I’m a little concerned about your attitude of “I’ll just let it happen.” And hiding it from your mom, and ignoring medical advice. That doesn’t sound like a healthy way to bring a child into the world. “I want a baby” is not necessarily the best grounds for this decision. It’s not like I want a pizza or I want a puppy.

Of course you’re entirely within your rights to have a child if you chose to do so. I also don’t know anything about your living or financial situation. Are you currently independent and capable of caring for another child as well as yourself?

Have you given any thoughts as to what might happen if you do have complications from the pregnancy? Gestational diabetes can be fatal for you as well as the baby. My aunt wants another baby and ended up almost dying in childbirth. Her health never really recovered and she died early as a result. Who would care for this child and your daughter if something happens to you.

I’m just posing questions so please don’t be offended. I think it’s a good idea to do some serious soul searching about why you want to have another baby and what are you going to do if things go wrong.

I would get a full check-up from the OB/GYN before actually trying. My daughter would be fine with it but not thrilled with it, she said she's ok now being an only child well she is 15. I have reservations about it but my biggest regret in life would be not having more children. I really want 2 more children. I just never had a good husband to have the family I wanted with. I did talk to the guy and he said he'd be glad if a child came. His daughter is 9. With him I could easily manage it, alone not so much. My mom hates me and has said so publically. We have family who have safely had children even as old as 56, that one wasn't on purpose. But I have told my mom to expect me to have another child. She kind of knows. But wouldn't be all to thrilled with the idea unless I with a good man. We are older but her baby sister was born of her mother who was 45 at the time she delivered my aunt. She's healthy, an alcoholic but otherwise healthy.

Are you still living with your Mother??? If so I can kind of see that she would have a say , just having a 15 year old grandchild and then add a newborn in the home is a lot to handle.

Weren’t you recently with a guy that refused to come see you , you had to go see him? Car problems too? Maybe I have you confused with another poster if so I’m sorry.

Deciding to have another child is a huge deal

Wish you luck

Make sure you and whomever you are currently dating and having sex with will know that you intend for them to father your next child. Have a nice discussion with them about that so they can have a say in becoming a parent.

Also make sure your not taking any drugs or drinking anything that can potentially harm the child. You can be arrested and sentenced for "intentional fetal harm" and as a result, be committed to a facility where they ensure that the unborn child will come to no further harm while inside of you. Then, once born, the baby will be taken into custody and adopted out to someone else deemed more competent of being a parent. You will then be sentenced to a term in prison for recklessly endangering the baby. All this will happen if you smoke or drink or do any harmful drugs while pregnant. I don't think you want to have a child taken away from you, so please take care.