worries about chronic disorder

Since my earliest experiences with intercourse, things always felt a little off, as if I wasn't feeling as much as I should. I also had periodic lower back pain. I also had boyfriends who complained that I was "loose". For two years I felt ashamed and avoided sexual partners, while seeking advice from doctors who would often see my fresh young face and say everything was fine. Then last year, I started realizing that when I did a no.2, hours later I could feel more feces just sitting in my rectum through a 'bulge' in my vaginal wall. I tried to manage this best I could for the year, eating lots of fibre and drinking lots of water. My boyfriends didn't seem to notice the problem during sex, and most days things were fine. Then two weeks ago, this bulge started happening every day. When I tried having sex, by boyfriend said things felt strange and I didn't feel much. I am so sad, I have read online about a condition that sounds like what I have and it sounds like it is unfixable. I am just 24, attractive, and I love sex. I can't bear to think that I will have to contend with this embarassing disorder for the rest of my life. It is hard enough to meet someone I care about, then to have to tell them about such a weird, gross thing. I'm at my wits end.

Hang in There.......... there are many medical problems that are fixable with surgery..... have you seen your doctor about this issue? - if not please do so ASAP and see what your doctor has to say before you have an emotional melt down over something that may not be..... ((( hugs ))).

Thanks for reading my message. This thing is just so alienating at times, because I'm very ashamed to tell people. Yes, I've seen my doctor and I'm going to have a full check up tomorrow. I hope she will be able to explain what is happening.

I know that I shouldn't surf around for info on the internet about this- it can induce some serious hypochondria!

just wanted to add - if you mean you can feel the fecal material in your rectum bulging out from your vaginal wall a little bit - that can happen sometimes if you have a large or bulky stool and it presses against it a bit. I think I would be more concerned if you felt like a pocket or something like a flap hanging inside off the wall..but your doc will be able to help I am sure.

I just want to try and reassure you that going to the doctor is the best thing. Here is the information that I can share. I took my 9 month old baby to the doctor yesterday and when he was born.... they said that he has 'dimple' at the base of his spine. They explained to me that they would need to watch it. Of course being a mother... I paniced that oh no.... he won't be able to poop or walk.... what does this mean?? Well it has been fine. The doctor looked at it again yesterday and said that it looks good. That the only issue she sees that it might cause is that it may fill up with poop when he is older and that it is correctable with surgery when and if needed. She said that this would not occur until his 20s or so once his body has more developed and how the dimple grows.
So maybe you have something like that?!? He is my 4th child and I had never heard of this and my other children do not have it.
You will be okay..... the right guy will understand and support you through this.
I wish you much happiness!
Take care.
Juli

Thanks guys. I saw my doctor, and she thought the problem was quite bizarre - not the response I was hoping for! Isn't she supposed to know about these things. Anyway, she said she can refer me to a place where they are more specialized in the pelvic floor area. Hopefully this will help.

Ariane, if it is an uncommon problem, it is a good thing to see the right specialist. Sounds like your doctor recognized this was beyond her expertise and has pointed you in the right direction. Best of luck with the specialist.