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Old Aug 26, 2008, 09:12 PM
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Zen888 Zen888 is offline
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I'm single and have poor self-confidence. I want to change this because I don't want to be single my whole life. What are some steps to improve myself confidence and esteem? And how do you attract nice men?
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  #2  
Old Aug 27, 2008, 12:24 AM
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Christina86 Christina86 is offline
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*is sitting in the corner waiting for other peoples advice as well*

(((((((((((Zen)))))))))))))) Sorry I can't help, but I wanted to let you know I understand!!

Self-confidence and attracting men
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Self-confidence and attracting men
  #3  
Old Aug 27, 2008, 12:37 AM
pinksoil
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Zen, what do you like about yourself? Begin by recognizing your good qualities, your favorite things about yourself. If you had a relationship with a man, what would he like about you?
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Old Aug 28, 2008, 11:47 AM
Lilian Lilian is offline
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as pink said first u need to recognise ur qualities. secondly u need to move out of ur comfort zone... this might include flirting with anyone even a waiter at a resturant or even asking someone out, and dont think of the outcome just think of it as practice until u find the right guy and u know what they say practice makes perfect
  #5  
Old Sep 18, 2008, 08:56 PM
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eskielover eskielover is offline
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I guess one thing I would say....it that when your self-confidence is found, you will realize that you don't need a man in your life & unless you just happen to be lucky & find the right man, you won't waste your time on the jerks that are out there.

I have to tell you, I found a nice man.....he is still a nice person.....32 years of tolerating the other things about him that didn't work...I am now happily separated from him......but he is still a nice person....just a jerk.

So don't think that just because a guy is nice that he's the right one for you. You have to look at the whole person & don't waste your time on others.

Debbie
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  #6  
Old Sep 18, 2008, 10:12 PM
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cantstopcrying cantstopcrying is offline
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I would offer advice, but I've been divorced twice and just ended a 9 year relationship, so I don't finding a good man is a good topic for me to speak on. So, I will give you hugs instead!
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Self-confidence and attracting men
  #7  
Old Oct 07, 2008, 09:02 PM
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myoasis89 myoasis89 is offline
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i know it sounds lame, but I went on an internet dating site because I'm too shy to talk to guys and walk right up to them. I met one guy..we both go to the same university. we had coffee at starbucks on campus...and hit it off. I found internet dating better because the person puts all of their concentration on you...and is looking for someone to date. He noticed all of my great qualities. It's now been six months and it's the best relationship I've ever had.
  #8  
Old Oct 13, 2008, 09:31 AM
mspogo mspogo is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eskielover View Post
I guess one thing I would say....it that when your self-confidence is found, you will realize that you don't need a man in your life & unless you just happen to be lucky & find the right man, you won't waste your time on the jerks that are out there.

I have to tell you, I found a nice man.....he is still a nice person.....32 years of tolerating the other things about him that didn't work...I am now happily separated from him......but he is still a nice person....just a jerk.

So don't think that just because a guy is nice that he's the right one for you. You have to look at the whole person & don't waste your time on others.

Debbie
I soooooooo agree with you! I'm in a relationship with a "nice guy"... but.. the bad things so outway the good. I don't have the skills to deal with his addictions.. nor the patience to play "Mom" with him... seems to me an adult male should be adult.
  #9  
Old Oct 21, 2008, 01:06 PM
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nonightowl nonightowl is offline
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I agree with Eskielover and MyOasis in particular, about men.It is better to be alone than be with the wrong guy; I've been with enough jerks!

Like Oasis, I met my guy online at www.match.com. It was the first time I ever went online for that! He was the only guy on there who seemed sincere. We e-mailed a month before we met in person at a coffee shop.

It's been almost 2 years now, and I've never felt so connected to someone. I'm almost 47, and had practically given up on men.

Take online dating with a grain of salt, as they can (like IRL) say anything about themselves, which may or may not be true!

What do like is how, assuming they are sincere (LOL), you can see the person's main views on stuff at a glance. Things that might take you weeks or even months to find out, like: Whether they want kids, whether they have kids, what faith they are, whether they drink or smoke, political/religious views, if they like/have pets...

Online dating was going outside my comfort zone too! Since I don't go to parties or know a lot of people, this seemed like something to at least try. I really had low expectations, not thinking anything would come of it.

I also offer you hugs.

I think the most important thing is to feel comfortable with a guy, and feel you can be yourself. I know it sounds cliched, but if you feel you have to be something you're not to keep him, it won't work! Been there, done that! Just like in the movie, I can finally "exhale." No more facades!

If you do go online, be frank about what you're looking for! Don't write what you think they want to hear, but what you want to say. If they don't like it, they are not for you.

My guy e-mailed me without even knowing what I looked like yet, as pictures require approval and a waiting period of 48 hours, I think! He liked what I WROTE. I think that action alone "spoke volumes" about him as a person. He said all the women sounded the same, and all the men too, (as he wanted to know what NOT to say, LOL, so he read men's profiles) so say what's in your heart, really.

I understand! Don't give up!
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Self-confidence and attracting men

Hmmm....looks like some good tips in here.


Self-confidence and attracting men

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Last edited by nonightowl; Oct 21, 2008 at 01:41 PM. Reason: Didn't have time to finish
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