help. i cannot bring myself to send out resumes. i don't know why.

i have messed up on interviews. people on my past jobs have been so cruel to me that i am suffering from PTSD. i need a new career but have no confidence and believe no one wants to hire me. took a course on medical billing and coding but don't think i want to do that. i've been out of work since july and am also very depressed and suffer from anxiety. it's going to be a sad christmas. i cannot seem to motivate myself at all. my old go to solution was to buy things to feel better but i can't do that now. i've been seeing a T 2-3 times per week. progress has been very slow. i have tried and tried but have lost hope - i've failed at everything. i don't know how much longer i can go on. i just don't want to try anymore.

[notz]

Oh, unhappy, I'm so sorry you're having to go through all this. Similar issues in my household, it's tough, very tough. Don't give up hope! It's the one thing you do have some control over. So much of the rest is out of your hands, but not your attitude. Even when it seems insurmountable and probably is, give yourself hope!

Okay, enough of that! When I'm down in the bowels of despair, the last thing I want to hear or think about is "hope". "Oh, notz, you should try to be happy and grateful for the things you do have, there are so many more unfortunate than you." Well, kiss my royal patootie! I'm here, you're not, leave me alone.

I can't fix things for you unhappy, but I can and do commiserate. No money coming in and lots going out is scary. Thank goodness you have your T. I'm glad you have PC, too. Hugs, my friend.

[splitimage]

I can relate - I lost my job at the end of Feb. and that was after being in the job only 2 months, they fired me during my probation period, and it took me 6 months before that to find that job. So effectively aside from a 2 month job, I've been unemployed since July 09.

Some days I really struggle to send out resumes, it seems so futile - like they're going into a black hole never to be heard from again. i have had a few interviews, but so far no offers. I'm beyond discouraged.

The only way I'm coping is I force myself to apply to 5 jobs a day. Once I've done that, I tell myself I can do whatever I want. And I keep myself busy with meetings and knitting and doing stuff I like.

But at the same time, I'm going to have to give notice on my apartment at the end of this month. My EI runs out mid Feb. and I'm rapidly running out of savings. My car is up for sale. My plan is to bring in an estate agent sell 95% of my stuff, but the rest in storage, and move into a furnished room. I've got an application in for supported transitional housing that's rent geared to income and I have my intake interview on Mon. I hope I get in, as that would take a lot of the pressure off.

The fact is the economy sucks. Lots of people are out of work and suffering, and it's really hard to find a job. It's not personal, although it feels like it, it's the economy.

splitimage

thanks, notz & splitimage. i made the error of working for people who were mean. a coworker had warned me but i was desperate for a job. these people used me for entertainment - treated me badly and then kicked me out. and, even though i worked very hard, their meanness continued with bad references. they are having fun and i am miserable. at one point, i have even checked myself into a mental institution. my T says i am not crazy but the suffering i experienced on the job has left me mentally ill with PTSD and anxiety. my thinking is not clear. i am not even sure if i could work again. i fear experiencing more anti-gay prejudice so much. (the anti-gay prejudice continues even in temp jobs.) i haven't slept well in months.

splitimage, i am going to try your suggestion of sending out 5 resumes a day. thank you for the suggestion - it's a good one. i wish you well with you job hunt. all the best to you, my friends.

i don't know what to do. i have feeling hopeless and unhireable. i am awful at interpersonal relationships. i know that my childhood was overly strict and i was overly obedient. often, i do not understand interpersonal relationships - i am too critical of others and they are very critical of me.

it is so bad that i am afraid to do anything socially. i can't bring myself to send out resumes either. i don't think that i would hire me much less anyone else even though i have worked very hard over the years and achieved a lot. i've discussed it with my T but he does not seem to understand. i just sit home and mope. i have had setback after setback, both professionally and personally. i have no confidence. i don't want to try anymore. i don't think i can change. i don't think i can succeed in life. i am fearful for my life and am having trouble motivating myself to do the most simple things.

[splitimage]

Unhappyguy,

I'm really sorry that you're struggling. My last job (the 2 month one ) was a nightmare and really blew my confidence. I knew I needed help to get my job search back on track, so I took a two day job search workshop with a career coach. Becuase it was a group, it wasn't very expensive, but it really helped me with resume writing, interviewing, and job search strategies. I don't know if doing something like that would be an option for you, but it might help.

Also up here at least the employment insurance offices offer a lot of sessions on resume writing, job search skills, interviewing etc. that are free - you might have the equivalent where you are.

Don't give up. I know the economy sucks right now, but I have to believe we'll all find jobs.

splitimage

[pgrundy]

I can relate. It took me nearly two years to get the minimum wage part time retail gig I have now, and they constantly threaten to fire me. It's unreal the amount of work and expertise they expect for minimum wage, and you have to always watch your back. It's hard to believe that just seven years ago I still had a good job at a living wage and an annual bonus to boot. Now, if I have this job that no one can live on and is horrible for my self-esteem and could disappear at any minute.

I know when you need a job any job seems better than no job but I'm not sure it really is. Employers are so ugly and exploitive right now.

I wonder, have you checked your state resources for handicapped people and employment? Many states have programs that will help you focus, get training, and end up with something you can handle. We have that here. My therapist keeps pushing me to apply, but I can't bring myself to do it. I feel ashamed and like I shouldn't need that.

Alternatively, maybe this just isn't the right time for you to plunge into something stressful. I don't know what the answer is, but for sure it isn't your fault. Employers expect perfection, then do nothing for you and constantly threaten.

Hang in there.

[pgrundy]

BTW, the company I work for now is likely to go belly up in 2012. If it does, it will be the third job I've had in four years where the company went bankrupt right after I got hired.

Things are a lot tougher than they make them out to be on the news, even if you are NOT struggling with mental illness.

(By the way, most of the people I work with are on psych meds. Mostly for anxiety, PTSD, depression, and bipolar.)

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by unhappyguy

i've failed at everything.

This is most unlikely. You've had jobs in the past, right? So you'll work again in the future.

You may have a long wait, and I'm sorry about that. Times are hard and maybe you've had more than your share of troubles. But don't label yourself a total failure.

[Beholden]

I'm so sorry you are feeling the way you do Guy.

Like the other posters, I can relate to co-workers being mean.

Several years ago when we first moved into this state, I found a largelocal 2 year college offered a course in getting a job. It was free. But it was a networking sort of thing as well as how to write a resume, questions to be ready to answer, role playing, question for you to ask, etc.

Maybe there is a job hunting couse where you are. So many people are feeling the way you do and the economy sucks. Please don't give up, you haven't failed at everything. You have made contributions to socity and worked in the past. It is the pits to feel so much right now. Keep going to your therapist, get yourself healthy again. You are worth it.

[growlycat]

Unhappy, I hope you can give yourself a break!! I hate to see anyone so hard on themselves...The economy in the US is horrid, and elsewhere I'm sure. It is not you!!

After 2 years, I thought I was un-hirable but I finally landed decent work. I have mental health issues too, and I know how hard it is to hide ANY "flaws" in the hiring process. It sounds stupid but it is true-- persistence pays off!! Be gentle with yourself and try your best. The hiring process is a cold one but it is no reflection of the real you.

Be a good advocate for yourself. Best wishes!!

today i am feeling so angry and upset and hopeless. i don't seem to be able to send out resumes. i question if i can work and if i really want to work. i have a pattern of repeated failure - especially socially. people just don't seem to like me and suffer from a pattern of repeated abuse. i really want to give up. i am going to go back to bed and try to sleep away my sorrows.

[Justme_55]

It's SO frustrating!! I completely relate I'd rather have a rejection letter then another interview with NO follow up. I've also given up applying after 7 interviews, signing up for spring courses so I don't go completely insane being broke and hating routine. Good luck to all my fellow pc members looking for work!

[splitimage]

Unhappyguy,

I really hear you. It's so frustrating and hard. Maybe give yourself permission to take a couple of days off job hunting and just do stuff you like. I know I do that occassionally.

I've signed up for a computer software package course that starts Mon., in the hopes of making myself more marketable.

It sucks, it's frustrating, it's demoralizing, but we can't give up. Somewhere out there there is a job with your name on it. I have to believe the same is true for myself.

Hang in there.

splitimage

I have decided to file a complaint with the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission against my prior employer for harassment / bullying, sexual orientation discrimiation and unjustified negative references. It's time to fight back.