[MooseintheReeds]

What if I never find a job?
I've been following the advice of Burns and going through the what ifs:

PD: What if you never find a job?
ME:...that'll be terrible I won't be able to pay my bills. PD: What will happen if you can't pay your bills?
ME: All of my stuff will get taken away from me, I'll have to declare bankrupcy, I'll be homeless.
PD:What if all these things happen?
ME: I'll be a failure and a worthless human being.
PD: Really? So if Bob doesn't work or can't pay his bills through unforseen circumstances that makes him a failure and a worthless human being?
ME: No of course not, Bob tried and he's out of work. No one can fault him for losing his job or not being able to find another one especially if he is trying.
PD: Are you trying?
ME: Yes.
PD: Then why are you not like Bob? Why are you worthless and a failure?
ME: I should have a job, I should be able to pay my bills, this is what a successful young adult should do.
PD: It's inconvenient to be out of work but that doesn't make you a failure.

No fast food company will hire me because I have a degree. I'm positive my chances of finding work are slim, I've been passed over again and again. I'm tired of trying.

Maybe all the bullies and haters over the years are right. Maybe I am a loser, destined to never have love, destined to be a failure. I am tired of trying. I thought once I reached adulthood everything about life would fall into place.

People talk about the years flying by and before they know it they've been working for a company for fifteen years. The years have never flown by for me. I've always been setting goals for myself...go visit this place before the kiddies are out of school for the summer, finish this online class before Independence Day, get through this work week so you can enjoy the weekend. Yet, each day has been a sort of torture.

Why? Why do I feel this way?

[mike4july1972]

You are smart enough to find at least a teaching job in a school or a university.
Even I am a lecturer at a university, which needs people, like you, a lot.

It's hard to let go of the things in life that happen to you. So in your mind you are constantly living in past scenarios and relating them to the future. Have faith. Good things will come.

[dancinglady]

I would say after all this trying you should also apply for disability. One or the other will work out. I am a degree holder and at one point in my life I was on disability. I wish I would have never gone back to work. The work world is horrible to people with mental illness. I would quit tomorrow if I could get back on disability.

MooseintheReeds, I hear ya. I am an attorney who's looking for work as a paralegal (want less stress). I've had several interviews but no offers. I've been looking for a job for about a year now I think. I tried to get a temp job for a bank working with mortgage documentation for something to do in the meantime, but the bank wasn't even interested in interviewing me. There's nothing horrible on my resume either.

I, too, have to fight feeling like a failure for not working. Fortunately I'm married so I'm not struggling financially, but I was raised with a very strong work ethic and I just feel horrible sometimes without a job.

All we can do is keep trying I guess. Like my husband keeps telling me, something will come through. Hang in there.

[ladytiger]

I have a degree as well wouldn't want to work for retail or fast food and I know they wouldn't hire me. I am struggling financially so I keep getting your interviews are impressive and competitive then why am I not hired?!

[hvert]

It took me a few years out of college to finally land my first 'real' job that I stuck with. You will find something. It just takes time. Can you apply to anything that is kind of related to your degree? Is it possible you are getting rejected because you are setting your sights too low?

[BreakForTheLight]

What would you do if you stopped looking? Gotta keep busy somehow..... might as well keep trying.

[CosmicRose]

Thank you for sharing that, the "what if's" exercise sounds very helpful. Actually playing out the what ifs that torture us can be very therapeutic. I also really like your headline near your username "tired of the miles, ready to sleep." from the saying "miles to go before I sleep." I can really relate.

You will find work. I don't have a degree and it's very hard for me too, it's hard for everyone right now to find work. You will eventually get hired, that is inevitable.

[Dangerboy450]

I hate to be the nay-sayer of the group, but I am in your EXACT situation. And my life is **** right now. If it weren't for my wife's disability we'd be homeless. Imagine, my wife makes more than I do and SHE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A JOB! I've been out of work for 4 months now, but I have a degree, a Bachelor of Fine Arts in Filmmaking of all things. Possibly the most useless degree and worthless 4 years I spent in college. That 8 years ago. I've been working in foodservice and retail since graduation and never had a job in my field (film/tv production) and can't parley my skills into any other line of work. I've never even had an interview for a job in my field. I've been applying to all kinds of jobs since being laid-off after Christmas (I was turned down for unemployment). Manual labor, administrative, foodservice, retail, managerial, anything and haven't heard anything from anywhere.

I'm inclined to say things aren't going to get better anytime soon unless I go back to school and get a different degree and probably the same for you. Because the years feel like they are flying by for me and even if you or I do eventually get jobs we won't have been working long enough to build any kind of nest egg or have time to do all that stuff we keep thinking we're gonna do before it's too late. sorry man, but that's the truth.

[lostfeeling25]

I feel your pain. I was employed for about 6 years at a non-profit, enjoyed my job, but wasn't treated fairly and had no opportunity for growth. I left for another job at a bigger company and couldn't handle the new job stress and anxiety so I left. I've been looking for employment ever since and feel like such a failure. Part of my issue is I know that I could probably be doing more in my job hunt, but I lack motivation to do so and fear I will mess up any new opportunity. I haven't forgiven myself for what happened at the previous job and feel so stupid for thinking I could handle something new. I have applied several places, but receive no calls. I too have a degree, and wonder what is wrong with me.

[CosmicRose]

Dangerboy, call a temp agency or a staffing agency. Those hiring agencies get back in touch with you ASAP and help you find a job, it's usually temp work but sometimes they are full time as well, or might turn into full time. I was considering signing up with a staffing agency, the one I was talking to said they do not take any money from the person's paycheck because their client is the company looking for qualified workers so they get paid by the company not the person looking for work. Some agencies still take out money from your paycheck though, so shop around and call different agencies and ask them what their policy is on that. They usually schedule you for an interview right away and try to fit you with a number of different companies and set you up with different interviews until you get hired. This was the route I was going to take, but when I read their fine print about having to drop off my "time card" every Friday I decided I would just rather try to keep looking for full time work myself However, the lady that I talked to was really helpful. The only downside is that it is temporary work usually and that means they can end your work at any time, but then I'm sure they'll find you something else.
This is just an idea if you really aren't getting any interviews.
Film making is a self employed field, they should really stop offering those types of degrees to students.

[MooseintheReeds]

Originally Posted by CosmicRose

Thank you for sharing that, the "what if's" exercise sounds very helpful. Actually playing out the what ifs that torture us can be very therapeutic. I also really like your headline near your username "tired of the miles, ready to sleep." from the saying "miles to go before I sleep." I can really relate.

You will find work. I don't have a degree and it's very hard for me too, it's hard for everyone right now to find work. You will eventually get hired, that is inevitable.

I am terrified I won't find work. The sinking feeling in my stomach gets worse everyday...and everyday that I'm without work seems like another day closer to becoming unemployable.

[Keyslost]

People have given me a lot of crap over time b/c of my age and having problems. Esp with money and a job (including parents). Don't let the negative voices get to you they want to cut you down or don't care if they do. The best thing to do just don't give up. Don't give the haters what they want . It took me awhile to find a job and it feels like both my parents don't like that idea now (but I thought they wanted me to get one?) Long story, anyways once you get moving things start clicking a bit better. After some time you may find yourself with some happiness along the way .

[2inchtallman]

My heart goes out to anyone whose been looking for a job, long term, only to find the same anxiety of rejection. I've been there, and it truly takes an emotional toll on you. But the key is to realize that when searching for a job there will be way many closed doors before you get the open door. The key is "don't give up." I helped a friend get into my company, but she was rejected 66 times. Guess what, try 67 she got hired and 5 years in she's been promoted to manager. However, had she stopped at try 66, there would never be the opportunity for success. Keep yourself encouraged!