I am in struggle please help me

I dont have too much friends.I love to study and during my university studies I didn't have too much time to get socialized...I chose to study and to develop myself...I studied and most of the time I prefer staying at home. My smart friends, all the time wanted me to help. I helped them to understand the topics before the exam but really i hate to help somebody to cheat during exam. If you are enable smart to go out and spend time socializing then do the same thing for the exams. That's what make our relationship bad. They hate me but I don't want to let somebody to use me....I know what they think about me. After
I have graduated found a job at a company. After one year they stopped paying my salary. I tried to talked to my boss but nothing changed the situation. My father wanted to talk to my boss via his closest friend. I tried to stopped him but I couldn;t succeed. My boss was very nervous that my father tried to solve the problem and forced me to say sorry for the situation. I didn't wanted to say sorry because I was right and I have to leave my job. Here nobody values your knowledge...if you don't have close friends that can suggest you nothing helps...so I don't blame my father.
I live in small town. My father forces me to apply for jobs in public areas. He even picked up my documents and applied on some places. I don't want to work in public or governmental areas and spend my whole life doing the same thing. I cannot say anything because I have to work ...my mother doesn't work and my father has part-time job. I am constantly crying but I cannot say a word. Regarding the private sector it's impossible for me to find a job in a small town because the chances are limited and you have to have friends to help you work somewhere.
My plan since my high school was to apply for master degree abroad and to find a job there...I want professional development. I don't want to spend my time in same manner all the time.
I tried my chances for master degree but I couldn't get scholarship...I am unable to pay for my master. I applied for jobs in my town but I cannot get any positive reply.
After I lost my first job I fall in depression. My friends don't know the reason why I left the company. I said that the company didn't pay me so I have to left my job. Can you beleive?They said that the company doesn't need me anymore that's why they didn't pay me or they didn't call me back. That made me even more depressed and stopped seeing their face. For my each falling instead of picking me up they said bad things.
The only option I have now is a private company. My relative works there and he called me to work there. I don't want to apply because two of my friends that I mentioned above work there and I don't want to work with them. If I will apply, the company will accept me because they interview candidates one by one. I have to tell them that I have applied because they will see me there...and its unethical to start working there without telling them for nothing.
I am very nervous....my mom forces me to apply for that job however I don't want to apply...i explained the reasons...
My idea was to apply for that job ,to collect money and maybe I will apply for a master degree abroad and leave everything here. THis is better option than working at public areas. I feel useless, depressed and all the time I am thinking about my life. What should I do....nobody understands me ....please helppp///In addition to this I usually don't explain my problems to my friends because they don't understand me. PLease help what should I do?Each night i am thinking on that. I want to build my life step by step...find a job and then to form a family. The time passes and I cannot do anything right now.

Being unemployed is both depressing and embarrassing. It happens to so many of us (including me). You are not alone. It is reasonable that your parents want you to continue to look for a job. Keep looking don't give up. Try to improve your skills and depression while you are searching. Therapy would be good but may be unafforable. Another option is reading and volunteering. Does your small town have a library? I suggest checking out self help books. Titles such as The Six Pillars of Self Esteem, How to Win Friends and Influence People, The Power of Now, Rich Dad Poor Dad, As a Man Thinketh, The Power of Positive Thinking, and What to Say When You Talk to Yourself. Also, don't forget to exercise, enjoy some sunshine and "stop to smell the roses"--it will help you with your depression. Since you are unemployed, you have more time--time is valuable--use it wisely and hopefully--you will recover and grow.

Hi! So many thanks for such a nice answer. I understand everything...I want to work...everybody thinks that something is wrong with me. However I got depressed that I did put a lot of effort to my university and somehow everything went down. I have reasons why I am not happy but I cannot explain to everybody around me.I want to enjoy this time but I have to work and help my family financially...thats all ...I am going to read those books thanks

It's a tough road but you can figure it out.

Sometimes people have trouble with there grades (I assume that is what you mean by--everything went down), it is because they are not study what either interests them the most or plays to their strength. If you go back to the university--consider what studies suit you the best. Good luck!

Hi! What I mean by everything went down is as follows:I put a lot of effort to everything(I did my best to graduate and continue my studies abroad)...I worked hard in parallel working-studying-working but somehow I everything went down...I lost my job and I haven't received positive reply for the master degree scholarships that I have applied.Complete year of loss, anxiety , depression. Even my friends that didn't care for anything and passed the university with lowest grades and found jobs. I am not jealous of anybody but somehow life is not fair. Nothing helps. As I said I live in small town and its almost impossible to find good job and develop myself profesionally. I am going to read one of the books you suggest beacuse nothing helps me.

I recently found an audio version of one of those books:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/step...lf-esteem.html

I grew up in a very small town myself--I kept my dreams alive by reading all of the time. I read fantasy constantly--before the movie Star Wars came out I read the novel (Luke Skywalker leaves his planet for a higher calling); The Hobbit and Lord of the Rings (both hobbits undertake perilous journeys); Kidnapped (a boy who is shanghaied to become a sailor and sees the world); etc. etc.

You may have to figure out how to relocate somehow. It may be an impossible dream but it might be the only way. I served in the military for a while and lived in Okinawa, Japan, and Hawaii for a while. Being sent so far away forced me to leave everything behind. Living in another country is a mixed experience (there is so much to explore but sometimes you are homesick) but it is so much better than feeling "stuck" as I know you are currently feeling. In the meantime--books can be a great escape when you have free time or are unable to sleep. I still read everyday......

Hi again! As you wrote I started to read the book " six pillars of self esteem".You are totally right. I am stuck in my life. This week I applied to the job that I mentioned on my previous posts. I was called to interview and maybe after one month I will be accepted. I was so happy that I am going to improve myself and to help my family financially. As I said still if I had another chance I wouldn't apply for that job but I don't want to work on the public works that my father finds me. Accidentally, I heard my father and mother talking. My father was talking to my mom that he will find me a suitable job from september so that I can work on that job until the end of my life. When I heard that I started crying. Can you believe? My mom said that I will do that job for two months and after that I can get hired from september on the job that my father will find me. My brain was going to explode. After that when I was alone with my mom, I started yelling at my mom.....she knows that I want to be accepted on that job(I have to pass interviews....one month training period and so on) ....how they can decide for me to leave the job when I am on the way for interview? As I see they plan to find me the job that will be guareenteed for all my life...so there will be no risk to lose my job...they will force me to marry and to live near them. This is not what I want. I cried and told my mom that I have applied to that job only to avoid my fathers will to find me a job. I cried and told everything but as usual she said that I have to talk to my father and solve the problem. My father knows that I don't want to live here but I couldn't say anything because I am jobless and moneyless. I found job and he still forces me for something else. As I mentioned above I have lost my first job because he tried to solve the problem...now if I will be accepted then again I will lose my job because again he is trying to solve the problem.....I cannot sleep and I dont have power to explain him the reasons because literally he doesn't understand. He is too strict and when he wants to do something he will do no matter what I do and what I say. My plans were to put up with my new job if I will be accepted ....work hard collect money...pass english tests and leave this country. I will apply either for master degree or for job.I want to see new experiences... then If I will find my love of my life I will get married. I cant live and work and marry here for the sake of my parents....nothing helps I started to think that my parents will not let me go abroad alone...they can only let me if I will get married.....

Can you leave (find someone who needs a roommate) after you start the job? Don't take the job your dad found for you unless you really want it. But if you dad wasn't bossing you around and you found that job--would you be happy to have it? Try to figure out what you need to do to move away from home. Any job that enables you to save money that your parents can't touch is a step in the right direction. You are yelling and crying because you are in a fight for your life.....

Hi again... it's impossible to move away from my home. If I am going to do this I have to erase my parents from my life. The only way I can leave this house is to get married or move abroad for master degree. I was raised with strict rules. They still do not let me to stay too late outside. Regarding the job I have applied ...I don't like it too much but I can work hard collect money and do whatever I want then....I was staying at my home for one year and I am tired of answering peoples questions why i cannot find a job .....why this why that? Also I will be away from home....Being moneyless and jobless is the worst thing. Regarding the job that my father tells me he will find...its like classy you know 8 hour job you do the same things for 50 years and then I have to get marry and live here and sort of that...You will wonder how they will let me go? I believe I can go but abroad...its imspossible for me to leave the house and to live in same city but different house than my parents....I believe that these are my fathers tricks to force me to live here....he will then say that he found the job and now I can decide what to do next-which means to get marry.I am very tired that decide about my life and due to the limited chances I cannot say anything....even if I leave my home I cannot live alone because our life standard is very low. So its impossible to pay your bills at all. Sometimes I thought to get marry. Maybe that will help me to start from somewhere. But sometimes I think that if I am going to do wrong decision then my life will be affected im bad way. As I said these days I am very unhappy...and I CANNOT explain these problems to nobody. Thanks for your replies.

Why I feel so empty and lost? I thought that after I will graduate everything will be fine. Somehow I am not happy with my life...my hobbies even doesn't interest me.....what's going on is there anybody else around here with same problems? I am in depression maybe....I hang out I am not happy....I stay at home I am not happy....I am thinking on how to find positiviness to find courage to continue my life...to be honest I don't plan to marry because I don't want to make my children unhappy

I applied for a job although I had hard times ....I closed my eyes and applied to a job and I was waiting to be called to an interview. The called me for interview two times said many positive things and the day after interview they send me an email that I was rejected....can you believe? However I heard that they reject people after first interview. THEY REJECTED ME after the second interview....no matter what I try nothing works...even I tried freelance jobs but nothing helps me....what should I do ...life is very hardd I have lost all my hopes neither job nor practice nothing works..

The fact that you got a 2nd interview means you were very close. Who knows for sure but do you think you made any mistakes during the 2nd interview? There is always something you can improve. Consider it but don't beat yourself up about it. One of the most likely scenarios is simply that there was a candidate who did slightly better than you did but you were also a good candidate. It is such a competitive job market and all you can do is continue to apply. So sorry this lead fell through......

I don't beleive that I did something wrong because they asked me the same things as in first interview. I made general application which means they can put me on whichever position they want. On the second interview they said that they put me on specific department and they said they are going to inform me after one week for their final decision.The sad thing is that they are hiring a lot of people(they make advertisement around town that they need employees). For me they all hire people from their family or close friends.... that's the way how it works in my country. I got lost my hope because I thought that I am going to be accepted because I had previous work experience and I was good student...I beleive one day god will help me....